tuggoffelees oneshots

eighty seven: the awefull battle of the pekes and the pollicles

munkustrap scowls in a funny way that makes lucas giggle. "the big police dog was away from his beat. i don't know the reason, but most people think he slipped into the wellington's arms for a drink."

"— of apple juice!" tugger adds enthusiastically.

"and no one at all was about on the street, when a peke" munkustrap gestures to me "and a pollicle" and to tugger "happened to meet."

tugger and i move to stand opposite one another, as if we were about to fight.

"they did not advance-" he says, and i take that as 'back up!' so i walk backwards a bit.

munkustrap holds a hand out to me "-or exactly retreat, but they glared at each other, and scraped their hind feet."

tugger and i make the same scowl-y face munkustrap did earlier, and we, like he said, scrap our feet on the floor, like bulls.

"and started to-"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark, bark!" tugger says, even though he was only supposed to say it once. munkustrap gives him a subtle glare.

"bark?"

"bark?"

"bark?"

"until you could hear them all over the park, and they-" munkustrap keeps glaring at tugger.

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark, bark!" tugger says, once again, knowing it'll piss his older brother off. munkustrap is still glaring at him.

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"until you could hear them all over the park," munkustrap says, shooting tugger one last warning glare. "now the peke, although people may say what they please is no british dog but a heathen chinese."

"that's racist," i put in quickly.

"and so all the pekes, when they heard the uproar, some came to the windows some came to the doors. and together they started to grumble and wheeze, in their huffery-snuffery heathen chinese."

"still racist," i say.

the original poems were written in 1932, that's why that line is there~

"but a terrible din is what pollicles like, for your pollicle dog is a dour yorkshire tyke."

tugger pushes him out of the way and takes my hands to start spinning us, saying (almost in one breath) "there are dogs out of every nation the irish, the welsh and the dane, the russian, the dutch, the dalmatian, and even from china and spain. the poodle, the pom, the alsatian, and the mastiff who walks on a chain!"