Red Dress

Chapter 34

Trigger warning ⚠️
Somewhere it all went wrong. My mother's family was know for violence. My mother's father was a violent man. My mother, Rose was just the same. She was beautiful. sometimes I look in the mirror and see her. My childhood was hard but at the time it was all I knew. I forgot alot now that I'm older. Only after she was taken away and dad came back did I understand that there was something wrong with her. Sam and I moved in with our father and never asked about her. I always knew the scars on my body were because of her. I still have nightmares about it. The fear I felt. Even now I lock my bathroom doors. I don't remeber why but I know it was because something happened when I was a child.

At the age of fourteen I made a friend. Kyle Williams. He was blond and had dimples with a crooked smile and even large teeth but that could have been due to the fact that he was a teenager. He was friendly to me. Everybody seemed more like a burden. His parents hated the fact that we were inseparable. All we ever did was go down to the beach and swim for hours or the arcade. We did not care about what we were doing as long as we did it together. I'll never forget. We were at the beach. Somehow we ended up cuddling. He told me how much he cared for me. That he loved me. I did not believe him. After a while he made new friends. They weren't from our school. He would get invited to parties and drag me with him. I'd go because he was my best friend. At some point we were barely talking. He never really went to school. When he was at school he was hanging around other students. I let him. I stopped trying to talk to him. One day he texted me.
"Do you ever just want to leave this town and their stupid small minds."
"Sure." I said something around that. I was just surprised he was talking to me. Slowly start talking again. After awhile we started going to the beach.
"You look different." I said noticing the fact that he looked tired and worn out.
"I'm fine." He was not. I should have said something back then but I can't hate myself for not understanding someone. He never told me anything anymore how was I supposed to know he was drowning.
We sat and watched the sunset.
"Maybe in the summer we can look for apartments in the city." I said trying to lighten up the mood.
"Sure and I'll work as a delivery man until I'm like the manager and you can make money selling your art." We smiled at each other.
"That would be great." I said lowly.
We both began to smile at each other. Kyle smile quickly faded.
"It's just a dream though. My parents think I can't do anything without them."
"One day we will be out of here." I said.
"That would be nice." He sighed. The beach was dark and it became really cold. I stood up. "Stay at my place maybe we can play video games." I said hoping he would come. Something was upsetting him.
"Nah...go home Oliver. I'll see you around." Was all he said. Those were his last words to me. I did what I was told and left him sitting at the same spot. The following day I was asked if I had seen Kyle anywhere. I texted him a couple of times to let him know that people were looking for him. On my walk back home. I  saw a figure by the beach. I ran down. I knew the back of Kyle's head. Like it was my own.
"People are looking for you!" I said walking closer.
He said nothing.
"Kyle!"
Nothing.
As I walked closer I realized he was laying down. I ran up to him. And moved him several time. I pushed his hair aside.
"Kyle this is not funny get up." He was not moving and his eyes were wide open. I slowly moved away. I slowly took my phone out.
My hands shaking. I dialed 911. I looked at his lifeless body.
"M m m my friend his not breathing." I knew the moment I said he was not breathing  that something was wrong. Time moved faster as i waited for the ambulance. I watched as the ambulance drove off. At his funeral I just sat there and watched his body again. It all felt fast. I had burley any time to process anything. It all moved so fast I had barely anytime to breath let alone think. Sure Kyle was a friend but more then anything I had been thinking why. Why him? I some how had completely forgotten that the last few months I did not know who kyle was. He looked like shit and he called me the day he was going to kill himself for what reason. Someone to say good bye to. I was angry. At myself for not noticing. Angry at Kyle for not telling me. Just angry.
I looked at Doctor Marcus.
He clicked his pen again.
"That's all I got i guess."
"Did you ever find out the reason why Kyle did what he did."
"No I probably never will."
Kyle was always an open book until he was not. One day we were great and the next we weren't. I never figured out why he did it. I figured out why I did. I was over it.
Over the fact that my art was not good enough. Drinking alcohol became my only escape.
"What are you doing to stay away from all those feelings."
"I don't listen to the voices as much as I used to."
"Your relationship with Kyle it was more then just friends. He said he loved you." Dr Marcus wrote down.
I shifted in my seat.
"Maybe...but he...its a small town and he wasn't comfortable so we..we stopped."
"Is that why you let him go? Guilt."
"Probably...I..we." I couldn't say anything else. I sighed.
"I just wanted him to be happy and if distancing himself from me then...i just thought he would come back to me."
I stood up.
"Can I go now?"
"Sure but we will be seeing more of each other Olover. Every two weeks you'll be here." He stood up and handed me my form.
"Keep taking your medicine."
"I will." This time I ment it.

I packed my bags.  Rudy and I were watching tv.
"Actor Bradley Smith and Arden Lagnar have reportedly split up." I looked at the TV.
"After images of him and the model Candace Parker surfaced. The actor was set to marry in to one of the world's richest family. The Lagnar family." I increased the volume of the tv.
"When asked about the split Arden seemd preoccupied." It cut to a video of Arden walking down the street with Barry. He was protecting her using a large canvas.
"Back off! Back the fuck off!"
The paparazzi ignored him and still pushed.
"How are you feeling about the breakup Arden?"
"Fine I'm honestly okay." She looked right at the camera.
"I have been inlove with someone else for a very long time." She said helping Barry push.
I smiled.