Chapter 31 - The Guilt

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Joe attempted to close his eyes and get a bit of rest, but he was unable to because of the hushed voices from the bedroom nearby. He had tried to ignore, but the sudden screeches of his names every few seconds were quite hard to overlook.

"You promised that it was the last of it, Fred," his wife, Maria, hissed as he shuffled into bed. "You said he was never coming back here again."

"Only for a short while," Fred reassured, reaching around the waist of his wife. "He's going to be looking for appartements tomorrow; it was unplanned, babe. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."

Maria, with her brows deeply furrowed that Fred could barely see her golden irises, gritted her teeth before scoffing and shoving her husband's arm away from her. She had repeatedly expressed dislike for Joe's behaviour—the moment he had stepped inside the home, he had made it his own. The fact that he stayed home all day and had no means to even clean the kitchen or sweep the floors; it was as if he was living in a new home completely free and Maria had had enough when she found piles and piles of his clothes in the dirty laundry basket, some that she had never seen him wear. That had been the first time Joe had moved-in and when he moved with his grandmother afterwards, Maria had assumed it had been the last time she would have him in her home.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The hissing and subtle whispers continued until almost dawn, and by then, Joe was wide awake. His mind had not been able to rest even a bit, not ever since the incident with Jamie. He had not been in contact with him since it happened, and all he could think about was the tears blurring Jamie's gaze as he shouted,

HE ACCUSED ME OF KILLING MY OWN MOM AND DAD!

As much as he wanted to believe that all he had wanted was to stack some cash and then eventually leave Jamie, he hadn't planned on forming the bond that they had had. Jamie hadn't been the nicest person on earth, nor had he been a complete saint and treated Joe with enough respect, but he had saved him from the cold nights in the streets or the nights spent behind bars. He had saved him from needing to steal dimes from his grandmother's purse, or embarrassingly ask for his old work back at Morning's.

Even more than that, yes his rules were freaky and calling him Master was quite disdainful to say the least, but Jamie had never forced him to stay. He offered him a wage salary for cleaning his already spotless appartement, basically doing outmost nothing.

It was not even about the work he was given that was what he missed, it was the fact that he had gained some sort of friend and someone he was starting to have feelings for, only to betray them without even beginning their relationship.

It was eight in the morning and as Fred grouchily walked towards the kitchen, scratching the side of his face and exhaling a big long yawn, he froze when he noticed not only was the couch empty, but all of Joe's clothes and suitcases had vanished.

Joe had been wandering across the downtown streets of the city for a few hours. And even during those few hours, the only thoughts that spiralled in his mind all revolved around Jamie. If it wasn't the way his veins had visibly tightened along his neck, then it the way his warm breath had lingered across his neck. If it wasn't the contortion of his features as he screamed in Joe's face, the gritted teeth that threatened to break any moment, then it was how warm his touch had felt or how his moan had made Joe's body melt into his arms. Anything that crossed his mind always related back to Jamie and all he felt was the guilt feasting within his bones.

Joe knew he needed to apologize, but he was not sure if Jamie would even give him that chance.

Before Joe knew it, a few hours had turned into an entire day, and the light post began to turn on as he wandered across the same streets he had earlier. As much as he ached to reach the doorsteps to Jamie's building, there was no chance he would ever make it without his heart bursting from his chest. Instead, he threw his suitcase into a nearby dumpster and reached into his pocket, counting the bills he had in his wallet. And before he knew it, he stepped inside the familiar bar that he always enjoyed to party.

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