Addicted → Leonardo Dicaprio

the finale, pt 1

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" You're so golden
You're so golden
I'm out of my head
And I know that you're scared
Because hearts get broken "
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[Word Count - 2287]
It's been four days.
He hasn't called me out of total respect for my privacy and wellbeing, and to be honest i'm grateful he hasn't. This time has abled me to gain a new perspective. With each day passing i'm starting to understand why he did what he did, however that doesn't mean i'm going to forgive him so easily and quickly like i have in the past. He was a plot twist in my life that i didn't expect coming. From best friends to lovers so quickly, it sometimes goes all too fast and you forget to think rationally and clearly, because all you feel and think about is him. He is the warmest, most welcoming place i know, and whenever i'm not around him, i feel helpless and cold. This must all be so hard on him, but its even harder on me because i dont even know what to do, or let alone think.

Am i willing to forgive and forget, or should i just move on and focus on myself?

Currently its 1pm, ive eaten bits and pieces from the fridge, but i dont have the desire to eat proper food. Ive spoken to my mum, leaving some of the details out because im afraid she will tell me what i dont want to hear. Shes been checking up on my throughout the day, but has been leaving me alone which im grateful for. Unfortunately she leaves tomorrow morning, back to New York, so then im really facing this situation completely alone when she goes.

Im sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels, not really paying attention to whats in front of me. Suddenly the front door dings, dragging me out of the hopeless thoughts wandering my mind. I stand up, my legs feel weak as they carry me to the front door. I take a deep breath, before opening the door.

Harriet stands in front of me, a large and welcoming smile on her face. She has a coffee in her hand, and her eyes take in my fragile, almost broken state.

"Well shit you dont look so good"
She walk past me, letting herself in.
"Yeah i dont feel good either"

She puts the coffee on the kitchen counter, and turns back at me again. She does what i least expect when she runs to me, hugging my tightly.

"I hope your okay"
Im confused at first because i actually haven't told her anything about what happened between Leo and I. I start to think that she might think i'm ill and thats why i haven't been replying to her. But in actual fact, my phone hasn't left my night stand in 4 days.

"Im alright, how have you been recently"
"Cut the bullshit, i am not here to talk about myself, but you"
"Me?"
"Yes i know everything that happened with you and Leo"
"What! How?"

She intertwines my hands and walks me back to the couch that ive been so familiar  with in this past week.

"I talked to Leo"
Im shocked, but mostly confused
"You talked to leo? What? How? When? What the fuck!"

"Look if i'm going to tell you the details, you really need to calm down, i promise everything's going to be alright. I haven't known you for long, but i really do care about you Tilly, so theres nothing to worry about"

I nod, scared to hear what she has to say.

"At the party, before you two left, Leo and i were talking, and he was really thoughtful and caring. He asked questions about my future, and genuinely cared about what i had to say. He was so friendly, so we exchanged numbers, only for the purpose of a FRIENDSHIP, may i make that clear"
I roll my eyes, knowing they both wouldn't do that to me so she didn't need to clarify that.