Addicted → Leonardo Dicaprio

five days sober

I don't even know who i am anymore
Word Count : 1008
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Flashback:

Being the new girl, even at 5 years old was hard.

I was advanced for my age, i knew things, i knew people and the most important thing of all, i felt feelings deeply.

When i moved into that new apartment block i was terrified. It wasn't the nicest of places, especially after living in a larger house with my father and mother, but dads gone....

Big men were moving in large cardboard boxes with our stuff. And i just watched them, place them down carefully in my new room. Mum told me i was a big girl, because i get my own room with my own window, and i'm excited.

Mum told me to sit outside on the balcony, because i was in the men's way. I climbed outside, using one of the cardboard boxes as a platform to push my small little legs up.

I sat outside, admiring the small view in front of me, and chose to ignore the conversations coming from below me and my mother.

I heard a rather loud sound come from below me, so using as much concentration as i could i leaned over the balcony, making sure not to lean too close to the edge.

My eyes went to a little blonde boy, most likely around my age. He had blue eyes, just like the sky, and was laughing with his mum who was giggling.

His mum went inside and left him alone, and i just watched him quietly from above. His eyes then looked up at mine, and i almost got scared, until he gave me a little smile, in which i returned him one as well.

He then climbed up the stairs that led up to my balcony. I watched him closely and then he sat right next to me.

"Hello im Leonardo, but mummy causes me Leo"
"I'm Matilda, but you can just call me Tilly "
"Your nickname is pretty long"
" It's only 5 letters" i said, showing the number on my small little fingers.

" i'll call you Til, because that has 3 letters like mine nickname Leo!"
" Okay"

End of Flashback.

I took the bus home from school, and the entire way home i leaned on the window.

New york was raining, something that often surprised me during the summertime.

I reached Joeys stop, and saw him get on my bus.

A big smile was on his face, and he ran to the same seat i was sitting on.

" Hey Baby"
" Hey J"

He leaned in for a kiss, but i moved my head so he only kissed me on the cheek. He was confused, and almost hurt when i did that, but he'll get over it.

" How was your day?"
"Alright, and yours?"
" Yeah it was good, funny story actually, a boy named Will was speaking with Leo, you know your friend, and -"
" Leo's back at school?"
" Yeah i thought you knew?"
"Nope.."
"Oh and anyways basically he was speaking during -"

All sound coming from his mouth was ignored by me. I looked out the window again, watching everyone doing their day to day activities. I then realised how sick and isolated i felt.

" You sure you okay Matilda?"
My attention was brought back to him.

" Oh yeah, just a long day, little tired"
" Oh well then why don't i just walk you to your apartment and you can spend some time alone with yourself? does that sound good?"
" Yeah, it does actually."

wow once in my life this guy seems to get what i'm going through.

We got off the bus, and almost immediately Joey took my hand in his. We walked slowly down the street until we reached the basketball courts.

" Til!"
I looked up, to see Leo. A big smile was on his face, but dropped suddenly when he saw Joeys hand in mine.

" Leonardo"
" Leo..."
" Right okay, how have you been this past week?"

I'm on speaking terms with Leo, but it's not the same. I just don't feel the same anymore when i'm with him. He really affected me, and i felt like an object to him, so i've decided to leave him alone.

"Good actually, much better"
" I better be going, J and i have to get home"
"J?" he rolled his eyes.
" Joey."

i looked over to Joey and he looked beyond uncomfortable. I smiled him to reassure him that this will be over soon.

" Well before you go, can i talk to you til?"
"Well i'm a little tired actually"
"It will only take a second"
"Okay."

I released hands with Joey, and told him to just wait a minute, and walked over to Leo, whose smile was so big on his face it might fall off.

" What's up?"
" I have some exciting news"
"And?"
" Our team got into the Finals for basketball"
"Great job! proud to hear!"
"Thanks, i really owe you one"
" Why?"
" Because your helping me realise that there's more to life than drugs and parties. I'm 5 days sober right now, and i know that's not very good, but it's an improvement.."

I immediately kissed him on the cheek and grabbed both of his hands. I looked him in the eyes and i saw the blue light up.

" So proud of you"
"Thanks Til"
" Things will be better from now on, i know they will."
" I really hope so"

He put his hands on my cheeks, and they went all warm. I looked in his eyes, and they looked back at me as if he was reading into my soul.

" I gotta go"
"Can i talk to you later tonight, about something really important."
"I might be asleep."
"I'll be outside you window when you wake up"

I smiled at him befor turning to find Joey. But he wasn't there, he left. But why?

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Omg i haven't been on wattpad for like 2 months and i don't feel like myself...

How is everyone?
i'm so sorry for such a late update!

xx