Dear Diary

Chapter 58

"At least tell what I did to make you completely ignore me. If it's about my cousin Amy then why didn't you just say so? Why did you treat me like a piece of gum under your shoe, but then suddenly 'rescue' me after two months of ignoring me? Two months!"

I was breathing hard by the time I was finished and I watched his eyes fill with guilt as his gaze moved to the floor. 

"I ..." he began and paused as he shifted his weight, raking one hand through his hair. I would've found the action insanely attractive if I wasn't so angry at the moment. "I have my reasons."

I stared at him dumbfounded. "That's it?" I uttered in disbelief. "I endured two months of confusion and worry for that?"

Cole's eyes flickered to mine. "You were worried?"

"Don't change the topic," I glowered, slightly embarrassed that I let my feelings slip out so easily. "I demand a proper reason for why you abandoned me during exams of all times and didn't bother to tell me."

"Oh, yes, how did your exams go?" Cole asked feigning interest in my marks.

"Cole..." I seethed. "What happened?"

His eyes turned hard. "Stop meddling, Elizabeth. It's unbecoming of you."

"I. Don't. Care. Why were you ignoring me?"

Cole huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked to the side. "I can't tell you."

"You can't or you won't?" I countered. 

He stayed silent and I scoffed at his guarded attitude. 

Why did I ever think I could get him to open up to me? It was just hurting me constantly trying to reach out to him and only for him to keep shooting me down. To be honest, I was sick of it. Amy can keep him. I'm done with his bipolar attitude. My heart will just have to live with its loneliness for a few months and get over itself. 

"Whatever. I'm out of here."

Within two strides Cole had grabbed my hand, halting me from running away. "You aren't going back in there, are you?"

"Why not? I'm going to hang out with my best friend who actually trusts me enough to tell me what's going on in his life," I jabbed at him and I saw an almost panicked expression cross his face.

"I do trust you," Cole's voice sounded strained.

I rolled my eyes. "Clearly not enough. Now let go," I said and tried to wriggle out of his iron grip.

"No, I don't want you going back there."

"Why? Because I'm suddenly 'your girl' I have to follow your every word? Why did you even say that? You remember what the rumours did last time," I said whilst still struggling to get out of his grasp.

"The guy's a light-weight. He won't remember a thing in the morning. I only said it to get him off of you. I didn't mean anything by it. Get it through your thick head that I don't care about you!" he shouted.

His words felt like a dagger was thrust into my heart and I froze. He didn't ... care? I felt my throat constrict. All that worrying, all that uncertainty and worse of all, all that false hope ... for a completely unrequited love? 

My eyes misted involuntarily, making his figure and face blurry. I looked down at my shoes. 

"Please, let go," I whispered, all previous fight in me vanishing into thin air.

Cole's eyes widened as his grip tightened on my hand. "Elizabeth, I didn't mean-"

Not being able to stay in his presence a moment longer I cut him off by shoving his chest roughly with both my hands. Shocked by my sudden move, Cole stumbled back and his grip on my hand loosened enough for me to slip it free. I didn't waste a second and took off down the hall.

"Elizabeth!"

I ignored his call as I ran into the crowd trying to locate my ride home. I found Richard quite easily in the kitchen and he must've been looking for me too. 

"Lizzy, where've you been? You weren't - Are you okay? What happened?" 

His eyes widened in panic when he saw my devastated face and bloody arm.

"I want to go home. Now," I said, trying to hold in my sobs by clamping my hand over my mouth. 

My heart felt like it was tearing in two. I thought that finding out he liked Amy was bad. This was ten times worse.

"Okay, come on," he said and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. 

He quickly ushered me through the crowd and into the cold evening air. He led me to the car and opened the door for me. I sat down and waited for him to get in the driver's side.

For some reason I looked to the entrance of the house and my eyes widened slightly when I saw Cole run through the front door and look around the front yard.

His eyes locked on me when he heard the car start, but it was too late for him to approach as Richard took off down the road. I pulled my knees to my chest and looked away from the receding view of the house as the tears slowly flowed down my cheeks.

I hate parties.