- Langst One-Shots

- Cotton Candy Skies.

Cotton Candy skies,
Why can't you be mine?
Always on my Mind—
I'm running out of time...

[Trigger Warning; Suicide attempt, Self-harm]
—

It had been months up here. Months of the loneliness that Lance was constantly consumed in. Months of those stupid words that echoed in his head like a never-ending mantra, mocking him in his waking life. Months of sitting in his room and nights upon nights of bringing a blade to his wrists hips and thighs and not a peep from any other paladins.

..Months of watching Keith.

Months of craving to be held in his arms. Months of yearning to get just as much as a glimpse in his direction. Months of feeling his stomach drop when their hands would brush together. Months of wanting to hear that coarse voice say those three special words.

I love you.

And yet Lance found himself with nothing but those repeating thoughts that dragged him further and further into his pit of depression. He'd isolated himself from everyone— cutting out everyone who seemed worried for him in the slightest. Hoping that if he could get them to stop caring, then maybe he could continue to mutilate himself without the guilt. Without feeling like he isn't cutting out pieces of his friends with every bit of mangled flesh and every white line that textured his body.

Before Lance knew, his arm was covered with marks overlapping his old ones and reopening the ones he'd added only last night. His flesh was mauled, each cut deeper than the last. He watched with a dull expression as the beads of crimson began to surface. He made sure to irritate the cut, causing more blood to pool to the surface. He didn't notice the pain, nor did it really bother him until he placed the knife at the beginning of his wrist and suddenly get as if he were in the clouds.

A cold chill ran through his body at the feeling of blood rushing down his arm. For a moment, everything blurred. He felt peace. So he proceeded to drag the blade down his arm, watching the flesh become warped around the sharp object. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to focus on his arm. His room had been nearly pitch black aside from the sliver of light from beneath his door that offered him the sickening satisfaction of watching himself die.

He used his uninjured arm to wipe the sudden exhaustion from his eyes, before scaring at the unmarked skin on his thighs. As if something possessed him, only moments after he was digging into that fresh unmarked territory, which would soon be just another bit of himself he couldn't show. Another part of him that repulsed himself and discouraged him to be confident. Another gentle reminder of how twisted he really was. He knew he'd come to regret his decision eventually, but in the moment it felt so good to tear himself apart, inside and out. His streaks became aggressive, angry, and no longer controlled. Both shallow and deep cuts were lined across his thighs and bile-filled in the back of his throat as he realized what he'd done.

He clutched his stomach, doubling over as he let out an abnormal pained groan. His vision was hazy as the room around him seemed to spin in slow motion as he greeted the floor with his face. He let out small whimpers, which turned into his incoherent mumbles and slurred sputters. It wasn't long before the edges of his eyes began to corner his sight and trap him fully in the darkness.

—

Lance woke with only one other person in the room. His raven black hair stirred as Lance's body seemed to move in slow motion. He was quick to catch Lance despite having been asleep on the floor moments ago. He lowered Lance and himself to the ground, holding the shorter male in his arms. The silence between the two was thick enough you could cut through it until Keith spoke up.

"Lance..."

It was a simple word, and yet Lance found himself entranced with the sound of his words saying his name ever-so-delicately. Calling his name like he might break apart as if he were as delicate as a flower in a harsh spring breeze. He found himself aching to bury himself deep into Keith's mass, hiding away from the pains and dangers of the world— as if he'd protect him. He wanted to be loved, to be cherished. But all he could manage was a choked sob of laughter. Not normal laughter, no— the kinds of laughter you force out of yourself. The type of laughter you only get when you're at you're lowest, that you feel utter disappointment in your own pathetic nature.

Keith's heart twisted at the sound, he could hear every bit of gut-wrenching pain. Every little bit of heartache. He pulled Lance closer into his lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around his neck and bury his sobs deep into the crook of Keith's neck. He used one free hand to glide across Lance's back to keep him here with him, while the other unconsciously reached for Lance's scarred arm. His thumb brushed over the rigged angry lines. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, allowing himself to feel what Lance was feeling. He wanted to understand. No— he needed to understand why someone like Lance. Someone so beautiful, so talented, so... perfect— would do something like this.

How hadn't Keith realized sooner? That he had been hurting so badly and was mere moments from falling apart? How long has he been feeling this way? Why hadn't Lance just come and talk to him? He was lucky Keith just so happened to be bored at night, roaming the halls and going to bother not the only one still awake but the only one who would let him in at such a late hour.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Lance." His voice was soft and gentle, like a lullaby a mother would sing to her child after a nightmare. Keith shifted Lance in his arms just enough to tangle his hair in the curly locks, breathing in his scent unconsciously. "It's.. it isn't your fault," he sniffled. "You co- you couldn't have known." He buried himself deeper into Keith's touch, as if afraid he'd disappear if he let go. He could hear his heartbeat, and for a moment— he felt peace.

"No— I— I should've known. I should have been there for you Lance I—"

"Keith.." Lance's face had shifted from one of peace and tranquillity to a frown. He was suddenly pulled from Keith's chest— he felt cold. Keith's hands cupped around his cheek and Lance noticed even in the dimly lit room the tears pooling in his eyes.

"I.. I love you, Lance."

Lance's eyes were suddenly an open floodgate as tears cascaded down his face and for a moment Keith had thought that he did something wrong. At least until Lance cupped the others face, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Lance's arms snaked back around his neck, pressing his body against the others. Keith's hands slid down his body, resting on his hips. His thumbs caressed the bit of exposed skin lined with rigged scars.

The two pulled apart, their heavy breathing filling the room. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith's torso, laying on his chest. Keith rubbed his back.

"I've been waiting to hear you say that.. for so long." His voice was almost inaudible. Keith smiles slightly, rubbing his back once more before picking him up in his arms bridle style and carrying him to bed.

Keith slept by his side that night, and many more after that.

Lance would be okay— if it was the last thing Keith did.

———

I have,,,, so many story ideas hehehehe,, hopefully I'll post more chapters soon! Lmk what you guys think :) it means a lot to me <3