A Viking, Willa, Josiah And His Lamb In A Truck | ✔

In Which She Refuses The Routine

A bucket of cold water splashed over me as I woke up gasping in typical fashion. "It's about fucking time you stop waking me up like this!"

"Clean it up," he said crisply, throwing a large rag on my lap.

"This is child abuse! I'm going to report you when I get network!" I threatened in vain since he had already disappeared.

The routine was monotonous, starting with carrying the wet bed and drying it under the sun. By the amusing looks of Jared, he would have thought that I had a sore bed-wetting problem. I was vexed by the sloppy mess created every morning since the past three days and today, I decided to not obey.

I grabbed a packet of tea from the kitchen and poured it in the water on the floor. "For not giving me chocolate milk, here's your morning tea, giant." It was a like a trip of goats with diarrhoea had crapped in heaps all over the floor. Satisfied, I sauntered out, stretching myself. "Good morning, Jared!" 

"Good morning! You look happy today. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing . . . " I smiled secretively. "Has the Viking always been this grumpy?"

Jared laughed, then shook his head. "He was once happy with his lover."

"Where's his lover, now?"

"Somewhere near the South coast."

"Yeah?" I was amazed that anyone would willingly tolerate his company.

"His name's Carlos," he whispered, his eyes glinting from sharing the old gossip.

The Viking emerged from the barn, his eyes darting between Jared and me.

"I made you tea, it's inside," I said to him. His eyes grew wide at my strange disposition and he immediately rushed in. I expected him to storm out seething, but he was serene like Buddha. "How was tea? I'm sorry that I forgot to add sugar."

He didn't even scowl and went towards the henhouse. He tenderly picked up a hen, coddling it and I shifted my attention to Jared. I was about to narrate my mischief to him when suddenly I heard loud, angry cackles and the hen came straight to attack me.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" I ran helplessly to save my soul, the hen chasing me with malicious intent.

I ran past the shack, the barns, the farm and on to the highway with the hen close at my heels. I was rapidly losing on my energy, fifteen years of snacking on fatty foods finally showing it's devastating effects on my stamina. A white van was speeding on the highway and I ran towards it for someone to rescue me, then a quick realisation awoke me from my stupidity. The van wouldn't halt if I threw myself in front of it due to the speed, instead, it would crush me to death. I was young and didn't wish to squander my wonderful existence under a family van (although my mum's guilt over seeing me dead was tempting me to experiment.) I alertly hurled myself back, the vehicle missing my body by barely an inch.

But the dumb chicken crossed the road and ended up on the other side of this world.