unwanted demons | iwaoi

Chapter 19

"Wh-what?..." Oikawa gulped, inhaling a shaky breathe as his instincts made him shoot off of the bench and stand up, his mind telling him to run bit his body denying him the ability to do so.

"Im not repeating the sentence, I'm pretty sure you heard it clearly from the way your reacting" Iwaizumi could feel his heart rate quicken an skip a beat as he talked- no, as he looked at Oikawa. More so his eyes and the way they had changed. Not so bright, more dull and lifeless.

Tooru didn't know what to do in all honesty. He felt like breaking into tears and caving. Lunging are Iwaizumi and holding him close in order not to lose him again. And then he remembered.

The misery of the ravenettes departure. How it haunted him. the pain of Iwaizumi not coming back anymore pains him. On the top of it- the viciousness of the generation; what did he do? What does he still do? Stay awake, looking all night; hoping to catch a glimpse of him- but there is no 'him.' Tooru didn't receive any news regarding him

Many memories came, and went by; but this time, Iwaizumi needed to come to him. He wouldn't chase him any more. He didn't want Iwaizumi to bring the intention of leaving him again; he just wanted Iwaizumi to bring himself. Nothing more and nothing less. When others go through what Oikawa had gone, they would feel his pain. There was no sunshine without Iwaizumi once he left; no rain without Iwaizumi.

If one wanted to know what is it like to live without a heart, they would ask Oikawa.
All he wanted for so long was just a text, a call. Something to say Iwaizumi still cared.
Once more Tooru let his walls come up. To stop himself from crying in front of the one person that could break him with a single sentence. A single word or breath.

"It's been awhile huh?..." Iwaizumi chuckled, it was nervous and drawn out but it held meaning at least. Everything Iwaizumi said held meaning.
And Tooru held onto every word. He listens as if the others words were golden, perhaps some elixir he's been waiting all his days to hear. From what he says next Iwaizumi can tell he is thinking so deeply, already with a strategy that's several moves ahead of what he is capable of. And in his words are a kindness, a concern that is so quick that, for him, it is natural. This attentiveness is apart of who he is and that is, if Iwaizumi was honest, the most attractive feature he'd seen in a man.

"Yeah, it has...how have you been?" Nothing he said held malice. It was odd the way he spoke, no pain was evident. "I don't know if you feel the same but...I'm sorry we um"
Um?
That was his weakness showing. His nervousness breaking out.

"I'm sorry we drifted"

His words were hurried, as if to cover up some big mistake "sorry, got nervous" when did Tooru ever admit to being nervous?

"Don't worry about it..." Iwaizumi pauses and furrowed his brow as he looked at oikawa. The way his hand started to fidget and tap at his hip a few times. "This is awkward isn't it?" He pulled Tooru down to sit on the bench before starting to talk.

"I'm guessing you don't show you wings much...I'm sorry for not bring around, I I now your parents were never there either and-"

"Then why did you leave?" Oikawa bite his lip and moved a few inches away. "I know you grew bored of me, probably found someone else and moved on. And my wings? Oh they've been fine. Occasionally I scream into my pillow in agony but y'know, its life. We deal with stuff and move on don't we?" Oikawa almost spat out his words. Guess the self control went out the window.
"I haven't seen my parents in 5 months now"

Iwaizumi couldn't help but wince, not in pain. But imagining what his friend had gone through. What his lover has gone through without him.

A month ago, when Iwaizumi first arrived back in miyagi and went back to his parents he was asked as to why he broke up with 'that girl'
He couldn't say anything but a name "Oikawa Tooru" and that was the soul reason for his return to his hometown. To find Oikawa. To talk with him and say sorry for the time he had been gone.

For the time he'd left the brunette in that house all alone and scared, in a pain and suffering. He wanted to be with Oikawa again. "I'm sorry Tooru...you know that right? I didn't want to leave, I was busy with college and then I just..."

"I get it Iwa-chan..you didn't have time for me" is that nickname a step forward maybe? He only called Iwaizumi that when he trusted him...when his guard was down.
"But i hope you realise just how fucked up you've made me"

Iwaizumi had to pause and look his friend up and down. the first thing he noticed was the weight loss. God he looked like a skeleton, the next thing he noticed was his sunken eyes. Ones of those who hadn't slept in days. "Well...I hope you realise how much I've missed you then. There wasn't a day I didn't think about you, even if I could simply text you...but I didn't Because I figured you didn't want to hear from me anymore"

"You figured that I didn't want to hear from YOU?" Tooru chuckled "I think you've got it the wrong way round, I'm pretty sure you didn't want to hear from me"

Iwaizumi shook his head and went to reach for Oikawa's cheek. To cup it in his hands and tell him how he was sorry. Beg for him to forgive him but before he could say anything-

"IT FUCKING HURTS IWA-CHAN! BUT I CANT DO ANYTHING, THATS WHY I DECIDED TO DISTANCE MYSELF, I WANT TO MOVE ON, TO FORGET THESE FEELINGS, BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW YOU CANT RETURN THEM ANYMORE! YOU PROBABLY NEVER EVEN LOVED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

All eyes now looked in their direction. A few parents had stopped to frown at oikawa, more so his language in front of so many children.
Iwaizumi However was lost for words. And that was when he lost him again.

Tooru ran and once again the ravenette felt him slip from his grasp.
"Hey- no! Tooru wait!"

A/n
Angst Angst Angst!😬
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