unwanted demons | iwaoi

Chapter 10

Upon waking, Oikawa burrowed himself into the warm, soft sheets. He rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and gazed out the window; its vivid light extended across a early morning sky. He supposed this was something the majority of people would consider beautiful, but he found it strange, hard even, to find something so meaningful in something so every-day.

It's not like the sun wouldn't rise, it had, after all, been reliably happening since the beginning of time.
Waking up can be really harsh, especially if your dreams are better than reality. The saddest part of it is, though, that eventually even the memory of your dream will fade - if you are even lucky enough to remember it that is. Then you're left with this lonely feeling of detachment, left to explore in the empty void of emotions, the only proof that you ever had the dream to begin with. And that's how Oikawa's dreams would usually flow. With some odd sort of serenity.

He had slept with his shirt off and his wings hung weakly over the side of the bed, to the left of him, Iwaizumi slept soundly.
Oikawa believed that each of us deserve a chance at love. And he knew how silly it sounded that there's someone out there for everyone but he believed in aliens, it wasn't exactly a leap forward.

Some say there's no such thing as true love, that it all ends in heartbreak and pain, but he thought that's the beauty of it. To have something so perfect for such a short while, and then for it to disappear into nothing. Its an endless loop. The brunette had stayed up for a while before sleeping the night before. Watching as Iwaizumi drifted into unconsciousness.

Watching himself fall in love with his childhood best friend. Yeah
Falling in love

He had thought back to all the times he'd spent with Iwaizumi since the beginning of middle school. All those times he would get a girlfriend and he'd feel a strange pang in his chest, like some sort of knot that tied his heart and got tighter and tighter.

And then they would break up. And the uncomfortable feeling that would re-open like a cut whenever he saw them together would disappear completely.

At first he thought it was just because he was jealous that she got to spend more time with Iwaizumi. But now looking back on it he realises it was jealously on general. Jealous of her for being with Iwaizumi.

Jealous that she got to kiss him.
The feeling he felt when they broke up was relief, relief that he had a chance with his friend. Well, in his eyes he knew he never would have a chance with Iwaizumi anyway. He certainly didn't even realise he had feelings for Iwaizumi a few years ago anyway.

He had the same feelings when It came to his sexuality. In the past year he had noticed how little attention he paid to girls compared to the other guys in his class.

And how much more of his attention he would focus on the boys in the school. He sometimes even caught himself staring at a cute waiter in a restaurant or coffee shop. But none of them compared to Iwaizumi

The man was too perfect.

His smile was soft with a hint of femininity, his strong bone structure was all male. It was something the brunette found stunning. Attractive...

Sometimes if oikawa was lucky enough he would get a hug from Iwaizumi after summer break; a hug that could melt mid-winter snow and make you feel so blessed to be with with him.. talking about breaks...he'd totally forgotten that today was the beginning of Easter break.

oikawa wanted to run towards Iwaizumi , yet stay away. He wanted to be strong and nonchalant but Stand out in a crowd. He would feel drawn in by Iwaizumi's presence.

And without hesitation he would follow that presence. Wherever Iwaizumi went, he went. Thats just how it is. These feelings he had were confusing and annoying and sometimes painful. Many times had he lay awake under the moonlight sky and pondered over Iwaizumi. Pondered over his 'feelings' for his childhood best friend.

To Oikawa the "Crush" was such an infantile word, one that must have been invented by older folks, the ones with an interest in belittling young love. He hated it.

Oikawa didn't have a crush on Iwaizumi , he loved him.

He was all that was in his mind; he was his true north, his everything. Words rarely ever needed to be exchanged between the two when one of them was feeling down. It would be more of a slap on the back as if saying
'I know your strong, so get up'

Just then Iwaizumi stirred in his sleep, a soft humming noise escaped his voice as his eyes flickered momentarily before focusing on oikawa .

"Mornin' Shittykawa..." Iwaizumi mumbled and pushed a hair off of Oikawa's head.
The brunette's skin tingled where he touched his forehead,though it was only brief; and his heart beat erratically in his chest so hard that he thought it might fly out. There were butterflies - no, lions - in his chest, but it felt good. Something was comforting about it. Something about the other male felt safe.

He could finally admit to himself what he knew all along, but was too afraid to admit it:

Oikawa liked him. A lot. And he wanted to be with him.

A/n
Ahsjdjdj I've been gone a bit longer and I might need to take a short break to write some more!
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter❤️

Votes and comments are appreciated!