unwanted demons | iwaoi

Chapter 16

Oikawa short POV:

You have become a silhouette, as if you walked from a photograph and left behind blackness. There is an ache that comes and goes, always returning in quiet moments. I want so much to keep you close, to talk and laugh like we once did and I know that your absence is down to me... Maybe in a few years we can be together again, close, happy... Then we can have something that is actually good, that has a chance of lasting. I see you everywhere I go - in the things we both love - in nature, in music, in silly things. So though you are gone, your aura remains, beautiful and strong, making the pain all the worse, keeping the feelings so raw.

In time I thought I'd learn new skills to cope, I always do, I am a survivor after all. But that never happened. The passage of time can dull many things, allow the brain to redirect, reinvest energy elsewhere. In your tough times know that I still love you, that I'd come running if you ever had need, but for now our paths diverge and every step is heavy.

End short POV—

Six whole years passed since their graduation-
At first they visited each other every week-
And then it was every other week
The fortnights turned to a month and the month turned to months
The months...turned to years and the years turned to never...

Both became busy with college and course work- Tooru had tried to keep up the contact but eventually it sort of died out-
However so did his heart

His heartbreak was a grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It was a shard in his guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges would dull.

He really hoped so. It felt like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from his body and short circuits his mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love He put his everything into. With each passing day Hajime took another step away though tooru asked him to show some sign of caring, affection, of love.

All he brought was anger, suspicion and an averted gaze. An annoyance of his clingy he was- how he wanted to visit- Oikawa's only "crime" was to not be able to cope with that. even now, still in his own mind- Tooru was Inadequate to himself.

Their relationship had lasted from that night in the hotel room till a few months after they graduated...and for them it was all they could ask for. Tooru would watch Iwaizumi in the mornings- they often stayed around each other's houses but this happened much more when their relationship flourished.

Unfortunately Oikawa's parents had become more and more absent to Points they were nearly nonexistent in his life- Iwaizumi was his lifeline at these times as the money they left was often not enough for the time they were gone. A lot of the time Tooru would loose weight as the food was minimal- Iwaizumi's parents even thought to call some sort of child protection service but Iwaizumi made sure they didn't.

Iwaizumi always helped him
Always

-
There was a time when Tooru thought his love for Hajime was a spark,
He wondered if it would flicker and extinguish, yet instead it grew to be a lantern in the dark,
And its cozy glow became his guide, illuminating the love and joy He forgot was within him. The same love and joy that disappeared from his life from a very early age. The love he so very craved to have from the people around him.

And so he learned to rest there, feeling at home, in time trusting to draw closer.
For his spark to leave its cave in search of Iwaizumi's light.
And it felt to him that it will come again. That light- his source of light.

A light enough to reach every dark corner,
a sense of belonging,
a liberty that wishes to remain,
a ghost that needs a home with open doors,
an unwanted demon that wanted nothing more than to be wanted.