💛 Yellow is a Happy Color. 💚 Demus.✔

Chapter 7 - Intrusive.

HAHA!! I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS

TW: PANIC ATTACK, SELF DOUBT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

Janus POV:

I sink back down, all I did was get asked a few questions and got ignored, happens every time, oh well. I see Remus laying seductively on my bed, "Hey J- Deceit." did he almost say Janus? No no that's crazy, "Hey, Mus'" I said, and sat on my bed, he immediately laid down proper. "Hey Dee? Do you want to go swimming in the imagination- on your side?" he asked, I obviously panicked, I want to but my arms, "Uhhmmm... I mean, sure, but can I wear a shirt?" I ask, oh my god that sounds so suspicious, "Uhhhh- Hmm, I mean yeah, let's go." He said, going to his room to get changed. I put on regular swimming trunks, I was about to put on a long sleeve shirt but Remus opened the door, quickly, making me flinch and dropping the shirt, oh no I have no shirt- he can see my, "Cuts?" Remus asked, I panic and quickly put on the shirt, "Leave-" "DeeDee-" "LEAVE." I say, more sternly and louder, and he does. I lock my door.

I start to hyperventilate, he knows he knows he knows he knows he- whys my notebook moved? it's on a page.. he didn't- he did.. I see a few tears drops that look recent. I cant breathe, he knows everything, "Dee? We can cancel.." I hear him say, "Uh- Hsh- abhsh-" I say, gasping for air, and he can obviously hear. I see the doorknob jingle before it all turns black.

Remus POV:

I grab a Bobby pin and pick the lock, I would break it but I feel too panicky to. I walk in to see Janus on the ground, "Oh no, my poor baby.." I whisper, picking him up. I roll his sleeves up, they're sliced with cuts, just red dashes everywhere, "Nonono.. Janny.." I mumbled, I feel myself crying, it's my fault.. I roll his sleeves down and kiss his cheek. I feel so bad. I sit on the end of his bed, I relish the silence. I grab my phone and put on some of his favorite song, Denial by The Vaccines Its a pretty good song in all honesty, I liked Bart Baker stuff personally. I wait for him to wake up. While waiting, I lay down next to Janus, and I feel myself drifting to sleep.

Janus POV:

I wake up somewhere black. All I can hear is voices, "Worthless, Nasty, Liar, Monster, Unlovable, Stupid, Waste of Space, Waste of air, Imbecile, Useless, Broken." All of these were said in the voices of the light sides, including Virgil, but these stuck out, "How stupid do you need to be to cut yourself? Just finish the job with a rope or pills, c'mon, do it. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT" It... "DO IT" Is in Remus.. "DO IT!" Voice.. " DO IT!" It wont stop... "DO IT!!!" I finally wake up, my mouth dry, but I fee warmth behind me, I turn my head the best I can and see a sleeping Remus, I flip over onto my right so I'm face to face with Remus. I slither my arms in between Remus' arms. I feel a sense of comfort and happiness.  I fall asleep.

3rd POV:

Janus and Remus fell asleep in each others arm, Remus woke up a bit later to see a smiley sleeping Janus, he smiled and shook Janus awake, Janus stirred, "Wh- Oh, hey Remus.." he yawned and Remus nodded, "Hi Jan- DeeDee.." he smiled, "Do you know my name?" Janus asked, sitting up. "Uhmm.. N-No! What gives you that idea." Remus sad, anxious, "You said the first part of it." he explained, "....Fine I do, please do be mad!" Remus said, owning up, "Shshshshsh! I wont be mad- but how'd you find it?" Remus hesitated, "Uhhhh- Y-Your journal..?" he pointed to Janus' journal, "You read it..." he mumbled, "I'm sorry, my curiosity was stabbing me-" Janus hugged Remus, "You wont judge me right?? You wont make a big deal?? Please??" Janus asked, quietly, "...Absolutely." he smiled and held Janus closed, "I like the nickname Janny and JayJay.." he told Janus, "That's fine.." he said muffled. Janus wasn't fully forgiving him, he was still pissed off.

Janus sighed, "Are you okay?" Remus asked him, "Obviously not, you betrayed my trust." he mumbled, these were the sorta things that destroyed Remus, "I am so sorry.." He said, "Just- I told you not to. It has very private information and it's the journal I let everything out in. You now know so much that I didn't want you to know." Janus said, shaking, "Janny- I-I wont tell anyone and I can help you feel better." Remus rubbed his shoulders. Janus was chewing on his cheek, his cheek felt like a torn apart dough, like makeup wax. It felt so easy to tear off but so hard to.

"I do need help, I do need to bug you!" Janus lied, the lies sliding off his tounge so easily. "But I want to, and you wont bug me." Remus said, reassuringly. Janus looked down, how could he trust him? He already hurt him. "I'll think about it.." he said, sorta smiling. "Take as much time as you need. I'm still really sorry, but atleast I know how to help you." he said, trying to find the brightside, but for Janus, he could never find one. "I guess.." he said, Remus rubbed Janus' arm, "I'll talk to you later.." Remus sounded like he was going to say say something else. Janus watched as he left, did he ruin their friendship or is he overthinking.

Janus was embarrassed and sad. He was also betrayed. He kept denying the fact that Remus knows, it makes sense, hes also Denial. Why was he cursed with the bad stuff? Janus grabbed his Journal and began to write.

Dear Diary,
Today, Remus read my journal.
I feel sad, mad, and betrayed.
I also cant believe he cant knock, he saw me shirtless.
I don't know whether to trust him again.
Oh well, only time tells.
- Janus
ps. remus if you're reading, fuck you.

A/N: Do you think Remus did the right thing lmao? I dont.  ily stay safe!

word count: 1064.