Um Don't Actually Read This

Theories

Hey dolls

Well, this is going to sound weird.

Since COVID-19, I've been stuck with two things: my family and my mind. Hanging with my family is fine, but there are times when everything is silent and my mind has time to run free. My teacher used to tell us to let your mind do what it likes because it helps creativity. During my time in quarantine, I've learned that my mind can get a little...too creative. See, most kids think about normal stuff like books, art and other stuff. My brain, however, comes up with weird ass conspiracy theories. These are a few that haven't left my mind and I feel like I should share them.

1. Willy Wonka's Factory Makes Candy Out of Children:
After August gets sucked up the shoot in the Forest, they all go on the board through the tunnel. The boat doesn't have two vacant seats, which means it was designed with prior knowledge that the two people weren't going to make it onto the boat. Later, they're riding on the cream car thing, and there are only FOUR seats. I'm quite sure this means he's killing the kids and using them to make the candy. Sorry if this ruined your childhood.

2. 50 Shades of Grey is a Twilight Fanfic:
Most of you have never read 50 Shades (I hope if you're under the age of 100 you haven't) and neither have I. However, my mother read it and I know 90% of what happens. I read the Twilight saga and I have come to this conclusion. Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are both incredibly protective of Bella/Anna. The two dudes also have temper issues and throughout the series have a great deal of character development and it's basically the same thing-aside from the weird shit that Christian is into. A little thing is that they both play the piano. There are a few other things but I'm tired and it's getting late.

3. Birds and Giraffes are Fake:
This one doesn't need an explanation.

Well thats all I gotta say so...... See ya on the flip side!
-Grey