Two Sides Of A Coin

17.5

HOSPITAL

MARIAM

I didn't want to wake up. No I didn't. I had a feeling I was sleeping or my eyes were closed because there was darkness, void, nothing, it wasn't cold or hot here, there wasn't pain or sadness or happiness or tears or anger. No, there was nothing like emotions or physical feelings here; whatever here was.

I just wanted to stay just awhile longer, I didn't want to go back to face everything. You could say I was being a coward, but I don't care, I mean my life is like a conspiracy theory, how was my mum able to smile like that and pretend that all is well, when she partook in the lie. At least she could have told me earlier, what if I never asked, would she have kept quiet all these while? Would she just be using the same old excuses for my father or would she have found new ones. Don't I deserve to be happy? Having new phones almost every class wasn't the in thing; no, neither was changing clothes every time I complained that it had torn or it looked like it was fading. Keyword, looked, also having shoes like a waterfall wasn't the life. In addition, going out of the country for any small holiday wasn't exciting any more.

I mean all these things are good but the thing is I hardly go out of my house even when I don't travel out; and my mates that travel out, the pictures they take together as a complete family is really envious. Even some of my mates that complain about their dads or tease their fathers, still look happy in their family posts; but not me. I mean what was the use of trying to be the best or one of the best in art class, when it's always my mum cheering me. What was the use of trying to be someone responsible, neat; I don't even know what to say anymore.

Then, just to crown it all, the new boy, God the new boy; I don't have any words. That was why Malik Omari said his sickness was contagious to females, such a stupid excuse, that wasn't sickness, it was a demon living in Simeon and I sat down there with him in his house, with that thing living in him. I'm so happy I left before anything, what if it attacked me, injured me, or worse still, what if it had killed me? If I ever decide to see the outside world, we should never cross paths again.

What if Malik was also lying to me when he said they met in prison; no, wait! I doubt that, that kind of demon could make you commit any crime and end you up in prison. Simeon deserves it, yes he does, I don't want to know what he did, but they should better take him for deliverance.

In the darkness that I was floating in, I could hear someone trying to invade my personal space, I could hear voices, and they sounded familiar and non-familiar at the same time. The person was crying and repeating 'I am sorry', after that the person calmed down and started talking. "I don't know what made you not want to wake up, because the doctor said you are okay, but your mind refuses to wake up and cope with reality".

The person sounded like they were sniffing and continued; "I know you might think that everything is unfair to you, but please it is also unfair to me if I lose you. It pained me for a long while that I had to keep such for you, but it was an even greater pain for me to know that I no longer brought your father happiness, I tried everything a woman could do to make her husband stay but it was all in vain. All effortless that the only reasons making him stay was because of you, at a point I didn't like you; but you are my baby, my bundle of joy. I was in pain for awhile, anytime I looked at you, I felt bittersweet because you look exactly like him; it always ached my heart to see when the both of you hardly settled, well you are both stubborn". My mum paused and laughed a little, no mummy, I was shouting in my head, I was really feeling guilty. I didn't even stop and think of her pain at all, I had being selfish, I wanted to find excuses and say but I'm a child, but I am also in pain, but I couldn't, I was too caught up in myself too notice my mother's pain.