Two Sides Of A Coin

SHA'UKU

MARIAM

"Mariam, come and sweep the backyard o!" My mum screamed from inside. I wanted to pull my already plaited hair in frustration.

Since it is Saturday, my mum insisted we should do sanitation, and so far, I'm not done cleaning the cobwebs she told me to clean.On top of that, I still have to clean all the glass surfaces, then...
I am to come and sweep the backyard.

"But Mummy, I've not even finished cleaning the cobwebs yet, and I still have the glass surfaces to clean" I answered a little bit annoyed.

"Chei!" She exclaimed.

I really wanted to scratch my eyelashes off, because I know a long lecture will come after that.

"Mariam, you want to sleep on top of cleaning cobwebs nei? Since, I gave you this work to do, habha, what sort of lazyness is this. Kai!" She finished exclaiming, clicking her thumb and tallest finger together for further emphasis.

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Why?

First of all, my mum is just lounging on her bed, sipping my hand made zobo, and eating cookies. I know right.

Secondly, she just told me to  get all this work done, like ten minutes ago.
I'm I the only Nigerian child experiencing this?

"But Mummy, the backyard is for the back, visitors don't come to look out our backyard fah?" I asked to further annoy her.

I didn't hear my mum respond, and I wanted to jump for joy, that maybe she's agreeing.

But then... Which parent actually agrees with the reasoning of their children.

So I heard my mum's slippers, making loud noises down the stairs, which naturally doesn't make sound. Signalling, her 'parental march'. She was now loudly sipping the Zobo.

Ahh, Mariam what have you gotten yourself into now, with your big mouth

I had already readily and  comfortably arranged myself on the parlour chair; because it's about to get down. I don't know how it will get down though, but it will.

My mum finally arrived, after journeying the ten stairs. She then leisurely came to the parlour, looked around the chairs, like it was her first time being in the house, then went to the three-sitter.

She was facing me in a lying position but kind of sitting at the same time. She kept her glass cup down, then began.

"Mariam, just because people don't look at the backyard, or go there, doesn't mean we shouldn't clean it. This is our house, we are living here, if there is dirt piled up, it will affect us and bring diseases.

Things like scorpions, snakes might hide inside.

The worst thing, can be, it will lead to a higher rate of you catching diseases, which might lead to infertility or distortion of your menstrual cycle"

My mother finished her speech with a queenly air.

Wait!!! WHAT?

I really wanted to laugh, because anytime, I don't do something, my mum has a way of leading it back to either infertility, menstrual cycle, womb destruction, or loss of a woman's beauty.

I looked up to the ceiling then muttered: God am I your stepchild.

I then glanced down to see my mum looking at me in a sceptical manner, already knowing what was in my mind, she answered saying "no you're not God's stepchild, stop being lazy and come and do this thing, is that how you will be when you marry? I can't follow you to the ends of the earth oo, a word they say is enough for the wise".