Two Sides Of A Coin

SHA' BAKWAI

MIRIAM

You ever have that time or times in your life when nothing seems to make sense? You know you breathe; you know you sleep, you see yourself eating, you see yourself bathing, you also see yourself doing house chores or watching TV or being on your phone, in short, even going to the toilet and doing assignments, you see yourself doing all those. BUT yet, your body doesn’t FEEL you doing them, unless when your brain signals your body that is time to stop.

Have you ever experienced something like that?

I see, you have? Well then, please how did you overcome it, because ever since my mum and I talked, I thought I could handle the TRUTH, but what do they always say? Yes TRUTH IS BITTER, but then they also say YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH AND IT SHALL SET YOU FREE, how accurate those words are; because my mind has been set free, and my mother’s too due to the fact that she would no longer held such a weighing secret in her, but then again I should have always listened when they told me IGNORANCE IS BLISS, and CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.

My mum told me that the following two days after we talked, that at intervals, she could hear me laughing and mutter to myself  ‘who sent you, are you satisfied now?’.

After telling me that, she told me that she would be giving me sleeping pills, so that I can rest, and I should listen to music or do my assignments when I felt like it. You ask isn’t she supposed to be concerned? Take me to a doctor/ councillor or something like that, but I told her to first see if I can handle myself for awhile, but if I couldn’t then she could do whatever she wanted, and she reluctantly agreed.

Right now, I was looking at my maths assignment and I had a hard time with it, and my brain reminded that Simeon was good in maths, so I could ask him for help, but at the same time what if he had other things to do?

Yes, I know we have hung out together as a group, he has also taught me one time in class, and I have gone to his house twice; and funnily enough I have not seen him those times. But on what grounds is he teaching me? I have kind of being judgemental and mean to him, I feel bad, but then I sincerely want to learn don’t I?

Moreover, I also wanted to know why Malik and his mum said that day; at that rate he may die.

MARIAM!!! My mind shouted at me, haven’t you learnt your lesson from wanting to know everything? I reprimanded myself, saying to myself that I should mind my business and go for what I am going for.

Packing my maths homework, and any maths related thing along with my jotter, I put them in my handbag, got dressed and left. My mum had gone to her shop earlier so I told the gateman to tell her that when she came back, I had gone out.

Signalling the driver, I told him to take me to Simeon’s house. I still texted my mum to tell her where I would be, it was when I was in front of his gate that I remembered I didn’t even know if he would be free today to help me, and guess what? Yes by that time the driver had gone, so I stood in front of his gate like one idiot, thinking of whether to call him, knock the gate or text him, but my idiocy didn’t last long as I heard him talking behind me.

“I don’t think staring hard at the gate would make the occupants of the house know you’re outside” his voice came out kind of raspy, I turned to smile at what he said, when my smile froze as I saw him.

He was wearing a maroon sweatpants with an ash singlet, his lean muscles had sweat glistening on his skin, and worse of off the sun was playing hide and seek on his skin, making his skin tone shift between dark brown and caramel.

He carried a comb from his back pocket and combed through his afro, making his sweaty hair look shiny in the sun. Then he raised his singlet to wipe his face, and as a teenage girl with hormones, checking out a fine boy, my eyes shifted to his stomach to see SCARS??!!