All The Missing Pieces [Completed] [Watty's 2021]

chapter 15

I was in the hospital for one night. Dr. Schmidt said my brain was fine. No bleeds, no concern, no nothing. When my parents came I asked them about Damon. I never saw them look so sad. They told me he was my brother. Older than me by two years. They confirmed he died at the scene of the accident.

Dr. Schmidt said that the accident was traumatic for me which may have prompted the memory loss on top of how hard my head was hit. Dr. Schmidt said that with the brain bleed I had, I should have died on the scene too. But I didn't. I just lost who I was. Knowing I had a brother made me feel weird for the first couple of hours. I knew who I was without Damon, but the more I heard and remembered about my brother the more I wondered how I'd manage to go almost five years without him. Without knowing about him.

"Zoey, do you remember where you were going or coming from in the car crash?" I looked to my dad as my mom left the living room to get the box of Damon's things. I scrunched my eyebrows at that one. Damon mentioned something about an opportunity--

"He was going to become a Nordique. Right wing. Number Nine." That's why we were on the road trip. Henry and coach just signed Damon on to be a Nordique. Dad nodded and pulled out something from his wallet. He handed it to me and I saw it was a picture of Damon signing something.

"You took that picture for me and sent it saying he committed." I held the picture in my hand a bit tighter. This was just an hour before he was gone. "I couldn't go because I had to be in court for my case. Damon said that you would keep us updated."

Damon looked so happy signing the paper. Grinning. Shining. Happiest he ever was. I felt the tears pool up again and sniffled before handing the picture back to dad.

"No, Zoey. I think you should have the picture." I looked at him and he scooted closer to me and held me in his arms.

"This is all so crazy. How do I just forget about my brother for five years?" I am frustrated. I felt like I let Damon down. I didn't know who he was or that he existed until-- "Henry and coach. Did they seek me out to get me on the team?" I wiped away the tears in frustration. I don't know what to think right now.

Dad sighed. "I think Dr. Schmidt took your mom and I's advice to a new level. We wanted something different to trigger your memory. I think he called Henry who in turn ended up at your pee-wee game that day. I was so frightened to see him. I haven't seen him since that day in the hospital. It was all so much at once."

"That's why you and mom were worried about me leaving. About me going. It wasn't that you were afraid to let me travel. You were afraid to let me travel with them." Dad nodded and rubbed my back. Mom came back in with the boxes and I let out a breath as she set them in front of the TV.

"Mom. I don't know if I can go through those right now." She nodded and sat down on the other side of me. Hugging me into both their holds.

"That's okay. I haven't been able to go through it yet either." I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. I looked back at the picture of Damon that now sits on my lap and let the tears come again.

I forgot about my brother. I had a brother. I lost a brother.

▶△◀

Henry told me to take a few days to breathe. I informed him I do have enough material to cover while I'm away. As long as I stick with the times I created for myself to post then I will be all set to post and share pictures of the team. Coach and Henry mentioned talking to me when I get back in a few days. They said it wasn't anything too big, just to check in.

My parents took a few days off for us to spend some time together while my memories of my brother come back to me. I asked them if we could go to Damon's grave today and they looked between each other. My dad left in what seemed he wanted to go and get something. Mom held my hands and took a deep breath.

"We cremated your brother. We felt this was more meaningful." Dad came back with a simple urn and a jewelry box. He set the urn on the table and handed me the box. "We put some of his ashes into this necklace for you," Mom said as I opened the box. It is a sleek silver bar necklace. Between the four sides there are two that are engraved. One side says brother and the other says Damon. I held the box tightly in my hand as I looked at them. "Want me to clasp it for you?" I nodded and mom reached over to help me.

When it rested on my neck it didn't feel cold like all new jewelry does when its cold metal touches your skin. This was warm. I touched it with my fingers and let a few tears fall.

"I still can't believe it all." I whispered. Mom tucked some of my hair behind my ear and gave me a smile.

The next few days I spent time looking through the boxes of Damon's belongings and reminiscing about those memories. I am so glad I am able to remember him after everything. I remember when he got his full ride scholarship to the University of Denver. He was so excited to go out there and play his heart out on the ice. He was signing with the Nordiques during his vacation.

Dad had all his jersey's folded neatly and in their own box. Some from his pee-wee days and up to highschool and college. Miller stood proud in block print with the number nine on each jersey. I held his college jersey in my hands for a few moments before laying it in my lap as I went through a few more photo albums.

Some pictures were taken out. I wondered why but decided it didn't matter. Damon and I were the best siblings anyone could ever ask for. Him and I did most things together. Except hockey. He did hockey and I did academics. I was focused on my academics.

I remember wanting to go to school for teaching. I remember my first year of college and my dorm room. How excited I was to be on the path of becoming an educator. Damon used to make fun of me for wanting to be in school forever, but I used to always tell him it was my passion. His passion was hockey. The moment he put on his skates when he was four years old to the day he died. He lived and breathed hockey. In a week it will be five years since the accident. Since his death.

I put everything back in the box except one picture. His twenty-first birthday. Mom didn't want me to drink anything but he slipped me a cup anyway. I was on his back while he had two beers in one hand and in the other hand a hockey stick. I was hanging on for dear life because he was borderline drunk. We both had these huge grins on our faces as the picture was taken. No matter how far gone he got or how many drinks people kept pouring him, he was always right there beside me. Making sure nothing would happen to me.

He was the best brother ever.

▶△◀

When I got back to the arena I made my way right to Henry's office. He greeted me with a hug. "Hi Zoey. Thank you for coming right in. I wanted to clarify some things with you."

"Of course." I smiled as I sat down in the chair and he leaned on his office desk. "It's weird. Sometimes as the memories come back I want to go and find him, but he's just not-- he's gone. It's hard to come to terms." Henry gave me a sad stare for a few moments before he smiled in reassurance.

"I can't even begin to think what you have been through Zoey. I just hope being here is okay for you." I nodded.

"No, it's meant to be. Me being here. This was his dream. Damon wanted to be part of this team and make history. The least I can do is be here for him. No matter what."

"I love that," I turned around to see coach walking in and I gave him a smile in greeting. "Zoey, Damon was someone I was truly hoping of working with. I was so excited he wanted to be here with us. I was shocked to see you in the locker room when you first came. I thought that it all had to be a dream."

"I got the call from your doctor. I didn't know how it would all work so I told him I needed to take some time to think about it. Then my grandson has a game and you are taking pictures. You are taking pictures the same day our photo guy left. It was like everything was lined up for me. I couldn't say no. Which is why I offered you the spot." I nodded and touched the necklace in hopes it would calm me down. "I didn't offer you the digital media position because I got the call from our doctor. You deserve this life. You are damn good at managing and taking pictures of the boys. It is truly a gift to have you here."

After some time with them I felt like this was all somehow connected to Damon.

"Be happy, Zozo."