Trash Polka | ForthBeam

Chapter 19

The silence of the night was disturbed by their whimpers, the sound both melancholic and desperate. The occasional wind blowing sent chills down their spines even when they were in each other's embrace. By then, the sky had turned dark, with mousses of grey clouds decorating it.

"Beam..?"

Beam closed the remaining distance by joining their foreheads together, closing his eyes tightly. He wanted Forth to know he was there. He needed Forth to note his presence, to show that he didn't scare him away; that Beam still cared for him.

"This was how I met Park, Aran, Bank, and Niran too," Forth whimpered. "Ever since then, they've always come back to me. They guided me; stopped me from doing drugs, from smoking, from pointlessly drinking and fighting... That's why I'm protective of them. I owe them my life."

Beam pulled back from his hug, sitting on the ground between Forth's open legs.

"That day, they were passing by," Forth explained. "And when they saw... they immediately ran over and beat them up. T-They saw me just standing there and they asked me what the fuck happened. And..."

Forth ran his pointer finger on Beam's shirt, tracing the drops of red he created in order to take his mind off his own explanation. After he gathered himself back, he continued his explanation.

"And I broke down. Right in front of them. So they called the police," Forth uttered. "It was the most terrifying time of my life. They interrogated us, asked us a bunch of questions, which at that time, I wasn't even sure what the answers were. I had to tell them that I s-stood there and didn't do anything... I told them everything I knew... but even then..."

Beam watched as Forth struggled to gulp. His hand found its way to Forth's thigh, creating small circles with his thumb repeatedly.

"Even then, the police didn't do shit," Forth uttered, distaste dripping from his sharp voice. "That's why when I saw that man—Suthee's father—I couldn't just... stand by and do nothing again. T-That's why I beat the shit out of him. I lost control, Beam. I was scared to repeat my mistake again..."

Beam needed time to process the information he had been given. Truthfully, Beam had a billion questions running in his head and another million thoughts he wanted to share. However, he couldn't bear to do so. Looking at just how vulnerable Forth was almost killed him.

"Beam, please say something..." Forth begged.

His eyes were lost and miserable. Beam knew exactly what he was thinking: Forth thought this was it, this was the turning point. Oh, how wrong he was.

Forth croaked, "Are you...?"

Beam pulled back. He stared deeply at Forth's teary eyes and said, "Forth, I'm still here and nothing has changed."

He gently wiped the tears that ran down his face before dropping a small meaningful kiss on his temple.

"Forth, you may not be perfect, but then again, who is?" Beam said. "You made mistakes, but you've acknowledged them; you've learnt from them in order to never repeat them again."

Beam played with Forth's hair, pushing the stray pieces back with a small gentle smile on his lips. He then met Forth's eyes again, to show him he wasn't lying; to let him know his words were sincere. Beam could easily tell he was still doubtful. However, it was Beam's promise to himself to let Forth know his worth, so he wasn't going to stop now.

"The way I see it, the lesson is right there: not repeating it," Beam continued. "You used to fight for superiority, but look at you now, Forth. You now fight to defend, to protect. You were faced with the same exact situation years later... and Forth, you could've stood there and do nothing again... but you didn't. You could've been selfish again, but you did the exact opposite, Forth."