Jason & Darius |Craving Yours| ✔

14. Garages & Suits

Jason Madison

Waking up in Darius bed was not how I imagined my hangover to go. Waking in Darius' bed alone was certainly not how I thought  It would go. But here I was rolling around in the warm navy blue cacoon of cotton that was his sheets.

My mother was going to be pissed. I groggily stumbled out of bed manoeuvring my way through the dimly lit room. Darius thick navy curtains were a blessing and a curse. The blessing being no sunlight could seep in and the curse being I couldn't see anything as I fumbled through the room.

I padded softly across the room with a piercing headache that shouldn't have been humanly possible. My thoughts were swirling around like dancing Jello. I tripped on Darius' unconscious body on the carpet startling him awake.

"Darius?"

"Mmh."

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"The couch was damn uncomfortable." He replies like the scenario was normal.

The last thing I remembered was leaving the party with Dae. Was she going to be angry at me for ditching her? As if on cue my phone's ringtone blared out disturbing the now silent room. I manoeuvred my way across Darius' body and grabbed my phone. A quick look at it showed me that it was my mother. Of course, my mother would want to know where I was. I was not supposed to be here.

I placed my phone back on the nightstand and walking to the bathroom. A good shower could help me gather my thoughts and make sense of the sequence of events that led me here.

The hit spray of water was actually calming. I felt my arms loosen and my joints relax. Why was I here? Sure I liked Darius but did he even like me? Or he probably only liked the idea of having someone like my brother. I swallowed a sob as it dawned on me that maybe just maybe he really did not want me. After all, he hadn't made any effort, had he. I stood in the shower as I let the water run down my face. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was overthinking and he did like me.

The cold of the bathroom tiles shocked me awake as I padded towards the towel on the rack. Maybe this was just not meant to be after all I was the one to always come back not him. I looked at my red-rimmed eyes in the misty bathroom mirror. My face looked horrible there were bags underneath my eyes, my cheekbones were more prominent because my cheeks had sunk in further. And at that moment I didn't recognize who I was.

I tried to think back to the last time I did something for me. Nothing came up. I didn't recognize the guy in the mirror and I did t know who I was anymore. The only consistent thing from me back then to me now was I wanted Darius. But was it enough. Was it worth it if I didn't even remember who I was? 

I splashed cold water on my face as I tried to make myself up. This was it. I could do this. I could bring back the old me. I had to or I would drown in all this Mason. I looked around the bathroom and surely it still screamed of Mason and Darius. Nothing in it said Mason was gone. Nothing in it said I had room to be here too. I was just an intruder in Mason and Darius' life.

I walked out of the bathroom feeling somewhat worse than I did when I woke up. There was a constant l banging pain in the back of my head and my chest felt like if I breathed wrong I would collapse.

I watched Darius as he dressed up. His shower had taken less time than mine. But then again he probably didn't need to think about much in the shower. I sat on the edge of the unmade bed as I watched him pick out clothes. My arms felt bare in Mason's Tank top but Darius had assured me it was all in my mind. And as if it couldn't get worse he had given me Mason's shorts to match.

"Do you want to come with me?" He asked looking somewhat hesitant.

"Sure." I barely whispered as I thought back to my shower thoughts.

"Really?" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" I asked looking at his face.

"It's just that, mason...  Sorry its, just you seem to be distracted." He said skipping over the fact that he called me mason.

"Nevermind that," I say looking at his face a little closer.

He shifts from leg to leg signs that he really is worried I would refuse. Why would I? Even though his entire house has no room for me to even breath in. How I missed that every square inch I turn to is filled with Mason memories baffles me. This house has no room for me even if I tried to make room.

The whole day ended up being a blur as I tried to understand what really was going on between Darius and I. My mother's words kept ringing in my head. He is not yours. She had said it with such certainty and conviction that I should have believed her. But here I was spending the day with the same guy my mother warned me about.

The darkness was falling and the streets were getting less busy as we walked into a quiet restaurant. A Restaurant I remembered my brother bragging about. A restaurant he really loved and made sure to force everyone to go to when the opportunity arose. A restaurant I did not like. As if to cement that this was Mason and Darius' spot the waiter came over and after one glance he stated words so familiar and practised. 'The usual'. Like it was nothing.

Darius of course just nodded without even asking me if I wanted this usual. What was I a place holder? A stand-in? A would-be person.

"Excuse me," I said standing up and walking to the bathroom.