Jason & Darius |Craving Yours| ✔

13.Bull & Riding

Darius Dixon

Jason's mother had been very unhappy with the kiss that occurred in her kitchen. She had given me a stern talking to that made me feel even more ashamed. She always liked me. At least, before she caught me kissing her other son.

Of course, the circumstances were not great but I always thought she would be okay with me forever. I glanced at the flashing lights on my phone it was still white meaning no messages. Jason had not bothered texting me not that I expected him too. We were not together anyway. Why would he need to text me? Why would he want to text me?

I checked the time again since I missed it the first time because I was too far in my head. Two o'clock in the morning. A bad time to be wandering aimlessly around the city. And a bad time to be drinking my troubles away. I unlocked my phone for the third time and scrolled through my contacts. I stopped when I got to Olivia's contact. Maybe she would answer me. Maybe If I told her I was hurting she would be my sister and be there for me. I stared at the contact with my thumb hovering over the green dial button for what seemed like a long time. But despite the need to speak to someone who cares I locked my phone and placed it face down on the counter in front of me.

"Can I get another one of these," I said signalling the bartender towards me.

He moved to my side and poured me another drink. His eyes had that look of someone ready to ask you if you wanted to talk. I took my drink and turned around giving him my back. It wasn't that type of night. I watched the drunk people staggering out in pairs or groups of four. Why couldn't I get someone willing to take me home like that? Why didn't anyone want to come over and hit on me? I wasn't that broken was I. I peered down at my clothes everything was good. And I was ready for someone to hit on me.

I got distracted by a drunk throaty voice coming from the door. Jason walked in not quite sober and not quite drunk as he argued with his friend. He was talking an awful lot and he looked like he just didn't care. The two of them moved towards a booth next to the mechanical bull.

I forced my eyes to look anywhere but where he was. He was happy, good for him. I was grieving his brother anyway. I didn't deserve to be happy. I downed my drink and decided to go use the bathroom. Maybe I could distract myself from all that was happening in my life.

My trip to the bathroom was short-lived. The place had a foul pungent stench and I couldn't wait to be out of there. Besides the creepy guy who did not skip one urinal, there were sounds of people making out in the stalls. How did this place not turn them off? I glanced around the room slightly confused before washing my hands and leaving. I wouldn't want to get sick from a place like that.

I stood in my previous position and signalled the bartender for another drink. He poured one then left me alone without a single word. He learnt fast. I took my glass got distracted by Jason's voice it was now closer than I had expected. I turned to the left end of the bar and there he was him and his friend.

"You want to ride the bull?" His friend asked face looking shocked.

"Is that weird? It probably is." He answered trying to walk back to their seats.

"Yeah, it is. But you seemed excited to do it, so go ahead." She replied to him as she led him back to the bar.

"But aren't I a little too old for that?" He asked now seeming reluctant.

"Never. Come on. go." She said moving towards the bartender.

I looked away as I continued to drink my alcohol. That wasn't my conversation. I wasn't even supposed to listen. I turned back just in time to see an excited Jason struggle to get on top of the bull. The bartender and Jason's friend took huge steps back before asking him if he was read. He gripped the handle tightly then nodded with a focused face.

The obnoxious merry go round music started up and immediately the bull started rocking back and forth. Jason held on as he raised another hand in the hair like the people in movies do. It was honestly a site to see. The longer he stayed on the more excited he seemed. His smile grew wider with each minute. Everyone cheered him on and the girl he brought with him looked so proud.

His face was honestly a beam of sunshine that I felt my heart clench. The last time I had seen a smile that wide and special was on Mason the day we went to the sky diving place in Bermiz. I took out my phone and snapped some pictures of him enjoying himself on the bull. Then after thinking about it, I took a video.

The more I stood there watching him ride the bull the raunchier and dirtier my thoughts got. I immediately slipped out of the bar after living my tip on the bar. The bartender would get it. I couldn't stay there. My body was conflicting itself and I never wanted Jason in my bed as badly as I did then.

I stood outside as I thought of why Jason and I were listening to his mother. We were both consenting adults.