Hands Stained Red

Ten ~ Rya

I feel dirty.

Since I slept with Kaden I've taken four showers, scrubbing at my skin in boiling hot water until I couldnt take it anymore. It hasnt helped at all.

Kira looks like she's about to throw up as she looks at herself in the mirror, running her hands over her dress. It's a long skin tight white dress with a slit up the back and a low neck. She looks gorgeous but I can tell she hates it.

This is an awful plan but she wasnt taking no for an answer and honestly, it sparked a tiny bit of hope inside me. It was entirely possible that the Caruso's had Quinn and I know that there isnt a limit to the amount of money I would give over to have him safe.

I try to smother it though. Theres no way that tonight can go that I come out on top. Even if we get Quinn back it just means that I'm going to have to lose him all over again.

I stand next to Kira and glance at what I'm wearing; a long black dress with a flowing skirt and two long cuts up each leg, revealing the thigh holster. I slide a gun into the holster and secure it before slipping on my ridiculously high stilettos.

"We're going to get him back," Kira says suddenly, her voice soft, "You just have to have hope."

I dont answer her and instead walk over to the bed and pick up my bag to check that my phone is inside, "We should get going if you want to be home early enough. Your classes start tomorrow."

Her hand touches my shoulder and I fight the urge to jump. I hadn't even heard her come up behind me, "You can talk to me you know. I may not be able to give you good advice but I can listen."

Shes so goddamn nice. She's far too good for the world I dragged her into. Far too nice to ever complain to me for fucking up her life.

"I'm just so tired of fighting it," I confess, "I've been fighting the inevitable for years and it's a losing battle. Everyone else is growing up, settling. You've got your art, Quinn's got... had his shop, and I have my family. I have a legacy to uphold, a role to play and I've been putting it off for so long but I think its time. It's time to give up before someone else gets hurt."

In a couple of months it'll be Matthew showing up dead, or Kira going missing again. Maybe my parents being murdered to prove a point, or Lisa being taken.

I'm fighting a war with too many casualties.

I sniff back tears and straighten up, "We really do need to get going," I say and then rush out of the room before she can ask anymore questions.

Kaden is already waiting by the car as I decided that it would be best if he came too. Safety in numbers and all that.

The drive is pretty much silent. I havent spoken to Kaden since last night. I even went through Mylo to tell him about the plan for tonight. It's not that I regret what happened, it had to be done. I dont feel awkward around him or anything it's just everytime I look at him I remember what happened, how much I didnt want to enjoy it but how I gave in to the feeling.

Every time I look at him, I realise that I want to do it again and every time I feel that, I feel like I'm betraying Quinn and that breaks my heart.

"So what's the deal with this guy? Arent your family's fighting?" Kaden asks when we're close to the house where the rings are.

I sigh, "They used to be. We're sort of at peace at the moment. We dont interfere with them and they dont interfere with us. It was one of the first things my dad did when he claimed the title."

Dad stopped a decades long war. I started one with my own family.

"His brother also raised me so we have something to talk about," I laugh.