Malakas na ihip ng hangin ang sumalubong sakin pagbaba ko ng sasakyan. Sinarado ko ito at nagumpisang maglakad.
Nang makarating ako sa pupuntahan ay huminto muna ako saglit at tumingala.
Pumikit ako at dinama ang malamyos na ihip ng hangin at katahimikan. The silence was comforting and wind blows smoothly.
'Its been 5 years'.
Di ko akalain na hanggang ngayon nandito pa rin ako. Hindi makausad. Nanatili pa rin sa dilim ng kahapon. No one tried to save me from the darkness or rather I don't want to be saved by anyone.
All I can feel was coldness and emptiness. Gone the warmth and happiness.
Dumilat ako at umupo. I stared at the grave in front of me. Nilapag ko ang bulaklak na binili ko bago ako pumunta dito. Nagsindi ng kandila and I prayed silently.
Nang matapos magdasal ay inayos ko saglit ang dala ko and i sit comfortably.
"Hi, Mom! I'm sorry kung ngayon lang po ako nakadalaw. I've been busy with so many things these past few days." Huminto ako at hinawakan ko ang lapida.
I sighed heavily at nilabanan ang nagbabadyang pagtulo ng luha.
"Mom, I hope you can forgive me. Di kita natulungan. I tried, Mom. I tried my best to move on but i can't. Sinisisi ko pa rin ang sarili ko kung bakit nangyari saiyo ito. You don't deserve to be here." Mariin akong pumikit at nagpatuloy.
"I love you so much, Mom. I wish you were here. I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your home cooked food. I miss everything about you." Tuluyan na akong humagugol sa lapida ni Mama.
"I don't know what to do. Mom, help me heal. Ang bigat bigat na dito oh. Ang sakit sakit pa rin. Di ko matanggap." I was clutching my chest because it hurts so much.
I remember her smile, tight hugs and i love you's. I still remember everything about her. Her clumsiness, minsan seryoso and madalas makulit.
I calmed myself and broke a smile.
"This is the last time that i will cry. And I promise you, Mom. I will find him. Hahanapin ko ang lalaking pumatay sayo."
I was played by fate that night. At wala man lang akong nagawa. Di ko man lang naprotektahan ang taong mahalaga saakin. And because of that I lost the most precious woman in my life.
But now, I will surely return the favor. I will play again but I'll make sure that I will win this time.
