This isn't edited because I'm tired so make fun of me in the comments
•••
(JEREMY wakes up and looks around)
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
(whisper) Hello? (whispering a bit louder) Are you on? (Loudly) Hello?
MR. HEERE (SPOKEN)
Jeremy? Are you talking to yourself?
Michael laughed. "Schizophrenic."
Jeremy elbowed him.
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
I...guess I am... Huh... Meh.
(He shrugs and grabs his computer.)
Christine rolled her eyes. "The second you think it's gone..."
"Sync Up"
C-C-C-C'MON C-C-C-C'MON
GO—
AAH!
THE SQUIP (SPOKEN)
What did we say about masturbation?
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
I was just gonna...check my email!
"Like anyone wantth to talk to you."
THE SQUIP (SPOKEN)
You can't lie to me, Jeremy. I'm inside your brain.
Brooke stifled a laugh. "Why did you say it like that?"
"Shut up," the Squip mumbled with a pout.
(Pointing to JEREMY's glasses) Hey, take those off.
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
But how am I supposed to see? (A zap. JEREMY gasps) Woah! What was that?!
THE SQUIP (SPOKEN)
I have access to your optic nerves. I fixed your vision. Now, let's work on the rest of you.
Michael rolled his eyes. "Shut up, lobster."
(JEREMY arrives at school. His fellow students enter.)
ENSEMBLE
C-C-C-C'MON, C-C-C-C'MON!
GO, GO!
C-C-C-C'MON, C-C-C-C'MON
GO, GO!
THE SQUIP (SPOKEN)
I'm a learning computer, Jeremy.
"But you're not very thmart," Jenna said
With every interaction, I evolve. Simply walk down the hallway and observe.
RICH
(to JAKE) WOO!
WHAT UP, BRUH?
Christine scrunched up her nose. "I hate that word."
"I hate you," Rich snapped. He widened his eyes and clamped his hand over his mouth. "Holy thit. I didn't mean that, oh my god."
"Oh, but it's fine when you say it to everyone else?" Jeremy asked.
"Everyone elthe ithn't Chrithtine."
KICKS LOOK BANGIN'!
JAKE
SHUT UP, DAWG
WHEN WE HANGIN'?
