Publishing this late because I forgot:)
•••
(JEREMY is sitting in his room when MICHAEL jumps in.)
"Seems about right," Mr. Heere said.
"Two-Player Game"
MICHAEL (SPOKEN)
Apocalypse of the Damned!
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
Level Nine!
BOTH (SPOKEN)
The Cafetorium!
(They jump onto JEREMY's bed, emotionlessly staring at the TV screen.)
"Thame."
BOTH
FIND THE BAD GUY, PUSH HIM ASIDE
THEN MOVE ON FORWARD WITH YOUR FRIEND AT YOUR SIDE
Michael sat up, pushing his hood off of his head. "I remember vividly wanting to fuck you."
Jeremy slapped his arm.
IT'S A TWO-PLAYER GAME, SO WHEN THEY MAKE AN ATTACK
YOU KNOW YOU GOT A BROTHER, GONNA HAVE YOUR BACK
AND YOU STAY ON TRACK AND—
AAH!
REMAIN ON COURSE
AND IF THEY GIVE YOU A SMACK, YOU—
GAH!
YOU USE YOUR FORCE
"CEOs of continuing to sing even when they're fighting zombies," Brooke said.
Chloe sighed. "Please don't turn into a TikTok comment section."
AND IF YOU LEAVE YOUR BROTHER BEHIND, IT'S LAME
Michael shrugged. "Guess Jeremy's pretty lame then." He slapped a hand over his mouth before grabbing his head in anger. "I really need to learn how to control myself when I'm high."
Jeremy brought his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly.
'CAUSE IT'S AN EFFED UP WORLD
BUT IT'S A TWO-PLAYER GAME
HEY!
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
So, what do you think?
MICHAEL (SPOKEN)
He's scamming you! He's scamming you super weirdly!
"I'm not that much of an idiot," Rich retorted.
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
But what if he's not?
"You're honestly gullible," Jenna said.
"Uno reverse. Ha! That was a good one!"
This could change everything. All I have to do is give the guy who tor...ments...me...six...hundred... He's totally scamming me. I'm doomed to be a loser till the end of the world. Nope, probably then too.
MICHAEL (SPOKEN)
No way! You're like this Crystal Pepsi I bought on eBay that expired in 1996!
(MICHAEL drinks it,
"Ew," Christine said, wrinkling her nose.
JEREMY looks on in horror.)
JEREMY (SPOKEN)
Not safe for human consumption?
"Why was that your immediate thought?," Jake asked. "Literally nobody wants to eat you ou—."
Brooke slapped a hand over his mouth.
MICHAEL (SPOKEN)
(Smacks lips) Better with age.
"Double ew," Christine said.
