Crownless Queen

Chapter 1: Spectres and Nadirs

"Sure? Hintayin nalang kita," she said.

Tumayo ako at nilapag sa lababo ang ininuman kong baso saka pumasok sa kwarto para magpalit ng damit. She's patient, kaya nagawa niya akong hintayin na matapos ayusan ang sarili ko. I just wore a black hoodie and jeans.

When I left the room, I saw her sitting on the couch and stood up when she saw me. Kaagad siyang nagtungo sa pintuan at pinauna na niya ako kaya agad akong naglakad palabas ng apartment.

We started walking away from the house right after she locked it, pero taranta akong luminga sa paligid. I looked at everything with caution, but everything seemed fine... by now.

I've never been so afraid to go outside before, or perhaps it's because this is my first time going out as a Nadir.

"Hey, Misa! Bakit hindi ka mapakali? Gusto mo bang umuwi para magbawas?" she joked and I glared at her.

Mabuti nalang at hindi na ako kagaya ng dati, dahil kung hindi ay baka nasapak ko na siya ngayon sa inis.

"Mukhang hindi pala... hehehe," pahabol nitong sabi at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. She's right, but I am nervous with a reason. I isolated myself from other people, except for her.

We waited at the bus stop and rode a bus to BNM Mall. I unconsciously felt my hands tremble by the thought of being around so many people. I took a deep sigh and said to myself, 'They are just people, I shouldn't be scared'.

When we entered the bus, I saw girls wearing their school uniforms laughing contagiously. I felt envy, but the feeling disappeared as I realized what I am right now.

Kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit hindi ako pumapasok ngayon. I would never be like this if only I did not met him. I took the seat beside the window and looked outside.

Halos ilang buwan na akong hindi pumapasok sa Monarch. Hindi ko kayang magpakita sa kanilang lahat matapos ang nangyari sa akin.

The thought of them thinking about their so-called Queen of Ace suddenly became a Nadir for an unknown reason.

A huge shame.

Nagising ang diwa ko nang may kamay na kumaway sa aking harapan.

"Tulala ka na naman, what's bothering you?" tanong ni Melody.

I'm completely powerless, so I act like a goddamn dog obeying other people's orders and decisions. And yes, there is something bothering me!

The stares of this damn passengers are creeping the hell of me. Hinigpitan ko ang hawak ko sa aking hoodie para takpan ang mukha ko.

What if someone recognizes me? I used to be in the streets all the time, so there is a possibility that someone knows me inside of this fucking bus.

"Melody," tawag ko at lumingon naman ito sa akin. "Do you still remember what happened when you saw me?"

"A-Ayos lang naman. Pagkapasok ko ng bahay may taong natutulog sa sofa at sinabi sa akin ni ate Sandra na ikaw daw makakasama ko sa apartment," she answered tensely. That was suspicious, but I shook my head. Maybe she is just nervous.

Sandra is the owner of the apartment. Bihira ko lang siya makita, maliban nalang kung maniningil siya ng bayad. Melody is the one paying the apartment, so I have to return the favor by being 'nice' to her.

"I see," tipid kong sagot at muling sinipat ng tingin ang mga pasahero.

I glared at the group of bastards behind dahil panay ang tingin nila sa amin. I badly want to stab their eyes with my fingers and bang their heads on the window.