Alone

Chapter 32

*Jacob's POV*

Month 4 of Pregnancy

Ever since we got that damn letter, it seems like the pack has gone on full lockdown. Everyone coming in or out of the pack has to, as Damien put it, "have a damn good reason for jeopardizing their Luna's safety." So far, no one has left the territory. People delivering food and other necessities bring it to the border, and a group of pack warriors take it and bring it back to the packhouse. Everything I eat is examined under a freaking microscope. That's a tad bit exaggerated, but I'm not allowed to touch any food that neither Ryder or Damien has taste-tested.

On a similar note, Ryder and Damien have been close to insufferable. For the first few days it was fine, appreciated really. I was NOT in a mental state where I was able to be alone. But eventually, those days turned to weeks, and weeks into a full month. Save for the bathroom, I can't go anywhere without either of the guys' as my personal bodyguard. 

Who am I kidding? I don't really mind all that much. It may get a bit frustrating at times, but I know it's coming from a good place. What I'm really upset with is myself. All the time the guys spend guarding me... I can tell that it's slowly eating away at them. Damien is constantly buried in his work, frantically searching for Alpha Henry. Meanwhile, Ryder refuses to leave my side. Don't get me wrong, whenever he looks up for more than three seconds, Damien is attached to me as well. It's just that Ryder can't seem to function unless he's physically touching my hand.

Both men have deep bags under their eyes. Sleep comes to none of us very easily. The anxiety of the situation negates all exhaustion they may have. I'm certain that Ryder has a death grip on me whenever I'm asleep. Damien would also, but he's always in the office. I've seen the bruises on my arms, but I wouldn't dare tell Ryder. I'm screwing up his life enough already, he doesn't need a guilty conscience. 

That's the worst part of it all. I know that this is all my fault. I mean, I can barely live with myself. Without me, there wouldn't be a reason for those deep rings around their gorgeous eyes. Without me, they wouldn't feel fear if they woke up thinking I've been taken, only to find that I'd just needed to use the restroom. Without me, they could live a normal life with a normal Luna. A Luna without mental issues and without  a penis. 

Due to all their stress, all attempts at "intimacy" have stopped, much to my delight. After all, if we were having sex, it'd be weird to explain all the new cuts adorning my arms.

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A/N:

...

I don't know. It just kinda happened. I've been meaning to come back for a while, I just... haven't. If you were to ask me why I decided to write another (stupidly short) chapter at 9:00 at night, I honestly couldn't tell you. 

I hope to finish this story sooner rather than later, but no promises. All I know is that I WILL finish it. I made that promise and I intend to keep it.

See ya later