Always You |harry styles| - completed

FIFTY-FIVE

Player: Baby Come Back

That night was a tough one, I couldn't find a position in which I felt comfortable and poor Kaya kept waking up almost like she could sense tomorrow was going to be a big day. Harry didn't specify when he'd be coming over and the uncertainty made the waiting game seem even more endless. I had no idea what I was going to say to him, or what he'd tell me... it could go both ways and the pattern of his recent behavior didn't help. Josh was taking full advantage of his time in London and he went to meet some potential clients, giving me space before Harry showed up.

"Hey teacup.", Harry appeared behind me, pulling me back into the realm of reality. At least he called me teacup, that had to count for something. I wanted to be angry with him and I felt the need to be spiteful and resent him for what he'd done, but this conversation didn't need hypocrisy as much as it needed an element of understanding.

"So...", it was evident he didn't know where to start, "I've gone to therapy and I did a lot of thinking in the past couple of days which made me realize what a terrible mistake I made and how badly I handled this situation. I'm sorry.".

"Sorry doesn't work here. I'm not going to pretend you're the only one to blame, I'm not the same person I was two years ago. That being said, this one will be hard to overcome."

"I know that, teacup. I don't intend on brushing this episode off and pretending it never happened. I want to make it right. Tell me what you're thinking, please.", he looked at me quite apologetically and with an unmistakable dose of honesty. I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts and trying to prepare myself for the hardest conversation we'd ever had.

"I'm hurt. And confused. I don't get it... none of it. Why did you think that leaving would be the solution?"

"I wasn't thinking. I just acted and my first instinct was to bolt. It was an entirely new emotion, a feeling I'd never experienced before and I honestly didn't know what to do besides clear my head by being alone.", his hand reached for mine but he stopped himself midway.

"When things get tough you get tougher, Harry. I don't mean to sound cliché, but in what universe did you think running away would make any of this easier? You needed a break? Fine. You could have talked to me, voiced your struggles, you could have made sure I knew what you'd been going through.", I could feel myself getting worked up and I tried desperately to contain my emotions and continue calmly, "You and I could go breaking each other's hearts nonstop, if it were just us two that this affected. But it's not. Kaya wasn't a planned baby and we are a bit young to have a kid, at least in my opinion. That doesn't make her expendable, though. How am I to believe you won't do this every time things get a bit harder than usual?".

"I acted like I was the only one in the world... Completely disregarding you two, which wasn't my intention. I guess it's a learning curve for the both of us, having to put someone's life in front of our own interests and desires and struggles. I made a beginner's mistake.", I don't think he intended to downplay his mistake, but it seemed that way.

"Yeah, Harry, it's kind of obvious that you made a mistake. What I'm getting at is that other people have children young, some even in loveless relationships, and they don't run away from the responsibility just because life seems a bit harder after having a baby. I think your mistake originated in something else, and that was not sharing anything with me.", he seemed more desperate with each word spoken so I took his hand in mine, "You are not the only one to blame, I've said it already and I'll say it again. Instead of working on us as a couple we focused almost all of our attention and energy on Kaya and the little we had left we spent to get inside our own heads and overthink it all. That's why I said we are a bit too young to have a child. We haven't gone through much together, when you look at the big picture. We had one massive fight that ended in a breakup and we were still finding our footing when I got pregnant. Foolishly enough, we both assumed that our relationship was solid enough and that it didn't require more work.".