Catch 22

9

"Sage! Can you tech for Cal tonight?" Caleb, the stage manager calls to me.

I look up, focusing on his voice on the other side of the room.

"Um, can someone else do it? Anthony was going to show me a few things for front of house tonight."

"It wasn't really a question," he replies. "You've been requested."

I force down the large lump in my throat before nodding. Of course Calum wouldn't just let it go.

I feel bad about blowing him off at the pool yesterday but I'm not the type of girl to air my private business. I've always worked hard to keep my personal and work lives separate and the other night at the club was a lapse in judgement. I'd forgotten my role here and put my job in jeopardy for the sake of breaking my rules and escaping my comfort zone. The biggest risk isn't truthfully my job though, it's Calum's heart, and I don't know if I'm willing to risk breaking it.

I locate Calum's trunks and begin unloading all of his equipment, setting it up the way he's asked for it to be and roughly tuning everything before setting to work on prepping his in ear monitors.

"Damn, kind of figured you'd find a way out of this." He says behind me, startling me and making me jump before I turn around to face him.

"Kind of hard to get out of something when it was requested by the people who pay me." I say with perhaps a little more sass than is necessary but I'm still annoyed I'm missing the learning opportunity Caleb had offered me.

"Technically my team pays you." He counters and I give a tight smile.

"What happened yesterday? Why are you so irritated with me now?" He asks and I scan the room behind him, hoping to see someone in the crew in need of assistance to allow me to escape this conversation.

"Can we, could we just talk about this later? We've both got work to do." I ask, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Depends." He says. "You gonna actually come talk or find an excuse and bail?"

Valid question.

"It's complicated and I can't answer such a loaded question in such a short time frame and right before we both have to work." I reply, giving him the most honest answer I can.

"You still didn't say you'd actually come. Can you just tell me one thing now at least?" He asks, his confidence wavering.

I give a curt nod and he continues, "That night. You're not like, regretting it, right?" He asks. "Like you don't think I forced you or anything?"

"God, no! Cal, no. Fuck no. I know I initiated it. I wasn't incoherently drunk. It's just...complicated." I say again, not sure how else to word it without launching into the entire story.

"Let's just get through the show and then maybe I can come to your bus and I can try to explain a little more. I don't know."

He purses his lips but nods, taking his bass from me as his band mates join him on stage and the sound check process begins.

I fold my arms over my chest and sigh as I step to side stage and wait to be needed.

I don't know if I'm ready to share all of my secrets with Calum. I wanted to sleep with him, hell I'd been the one to drag him to the bathroom. The sex was great, the man did not disappoint, but I know what would be at risk for myself and I also know that all of my baggage is more than he's going to wanted to handle.

Who would want to be with me once they knew?

No one ever has.

Maybe that's why I reacted so coolly to Calum at the pool. I saw him and panicked. I didn't want to ruin this idea I had in my head that he could actually like me. That he could actually fall for me.

It's unrealistic to believe and perhaps I thought if I avoided him I could also avoid the conversation where he loses interest me.

My stomach grumbles and draws me from my thoughts. I haven't eaten anything all day. Fuck. I hope this doesn't take too much longer.

•

My thoughts are everywhere except on our performance as I fumble my way through the show.

I'm distracted, incredibly so, by the black haired beauty waiting in the wings to take my bass when we finish out set.

I head out to the catwalk to play Amnesia, speaking to the crowd and hopefully they can't tell how obviously unfocused I've been, not just tonight, but since night one of this tour.

We finish up and I head back to my spot on the main stage, glancing to my left and searching for Sage. I find only Anthony and send him a questioning look.

He shakes his head and I deflate slightly as we run through Youngblood and take our bow before exiting the stage.

"Where is she?" I ask him and he just sighs.

"She blacked out. We didn't want to alarm anyone until you guys finished, they've got her in the green room." He says and I feel my heart begin to race. I hand off my bass and head straight for the green room, only relaxing when I see Sage sitting up on the couch, a bottle of water in her hand.

"You alright?" I ask her, glancing over to the medic who's assisting her.

"Just had a busy day, forgot to eat and it hit me hard I guess." She says.

The doctor raises his eyes at her.

"You need to be more cautious Sage." He tells her. "Watch your diet and take your medications. Failing to do this puts you in greater danger and you know this. Drink that, eat your snack and a healthy dinner and get some rest. I'll check on you tomorrow." He says before standing and heading out of the green room.

Sage's cheeks are flushed as she looks up at me, my mind a whirl of questions as it always seems to be around her. Why does she have so many secrets?

"Can we postpone our chat?" She asks and I let out a dark laugh.

"I didn't think you'd make yourself pass out to escape me but I'm guessing it's got you worn out."

"Wasn't on purpose Cal, I swear."

"I believe you." I tell her.

"Tomorrow we'll do lunch, okay? Deep dish pizza, a Chicago specialty I hear." She giggles and I feel my cold facade crumble.

"Don't bail on me." I ask of her and she nods.

"I'm sure you've got a lot of questions. There's just a lot about me you don't know. It's gonna change what you think of me, and that scares me."

"Why?" I ask her, wondering how honest she's willing to be in this moment and if she's felt any of the same things I have over the past week.

"Because I want you to like me Calum, and after tomorrow, I don't know if you will."

She slips past me quickly, exiting our green room and headed where I'm only guessing is her bus before I can even process what her words could possibly mean.

An: Why did Sage pass out?

Why did she brush Calum off?

What is she hiding?

Let me know your theories!

Vote and comment!

I love you,
Sav 🖤