Removing My Mask ; Peter Parker

1.14

Today was the day of my mother's funeral. I wore something simple and all black, the blouse shirt I had going with my all black suit pants and my black heels. I sat on the edge of my bed waiting for my friends to get here, getting a text from MJ that they were just around the corner.

My eyes scanned over the crinkled, tear stained letter once more as I soaked everything in. My mother was gone, just another name on a moldy gravestone. Would people visit her? Would they pay their respects and leave flowers for her ghost? Would I do that? Or did I feel obligated to do that.

"Y/n, your friends are here." My father knocked on my door frame softly, his body clad in an all black suit.

I nodded and folded the letter up again and set it in the box I kept under my bed.

"We're going to leave a few minutes early to drop Jason off at Marcus'." My dad explained.

"Okay." I let out quietly before getting up from my plush bed to go greet my friends.

"There she is." Ned pulled me into a hug and I hugged back, feeling the other two wrap their arms around us.

"Thanks for coming." I told them all, hugging MJ and Peter individually. "You all look really nice dressed up. It's like I'm looking at different people." I joked.

Peter and Ned both wore black suits, but Ned had a black bow tie instead. MJ wore an outfit similar to mine that looked like business casual. Honestly they all looked hot despite the sad occasion.

"I know, I'm hot." Ned popped out his collar with a smirk. I giggled and lightly pushed him.

"You look beautiful, y/n." Peter gave me a genuine smile as he looked me up and down.

"I agree." MJ licked her lips, "I'm about to wife you up!"

I snorted through my nose, glad that my friends new how to make me laugh and hype me up, taking my mind off the event we would be attending today.

[...]

"I-I can't do this, I can't be here. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea." My breathing came out in quick gasps as I wrapped my arms around my middle.

My dad wandered off to go and thank people for coming, despite how they all felt about my mother. Peter, Ned and MJ stayed close besides me and giving their support. The casket was up at the front waiting to be lowered into the freshly dug hole, the top of it open to see Jenna Klein lying in it.

I couldn't be here. I really don't know why I decided to come, maybe to fully take in everything. To get the last bit of closure I told myself I needed. My brain and feelings were fucked up and I blamed my upbringing, even after my dad and mom split. My stomach lurched forward as my body shook lightly, all the anxiety bubbling inside my stomach, vibrating through my body made me go into fight or flight mode.

Right now I was afraid. I didn't want to see her face one last time, see how peaceful it looked after years of trauma she endured. I knew I would cry again and I didn't want to cry anymore but I couldn't help it, that was the only thing I could do. I had nothing left to say to her so I offered my tears instead. It felt like if I saw her face again, everything would come back full force and I would have another panic attack like the one I was having now. I didn't know if I could go through that.

"Hey, okay." Peter said softly, "let's go sit on that bench back there."

I let peter guide me over to the metal black bench sitting under a large willow tree, my body molding into his side as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. MJ sat next to me and I grabbed her hand, feeling her squeeze it bringing me some comfort. Ned decided to stand, trying to climb up the thick trunk of the tree.

"I don't want to see her face. I'm afraid that if I do, everything she's ever done to me will come back and I'll panic. I don't want to cry anymore over her because I feel like she doesn't deserve my tears, but at the same time that's all I can give her. I have nothing left to say to her." I explained the thoughts swimming around in my head.

"You don't have to go up to the casket if you don't want, nobody is going to pressure you into it." MJ squeezed my hand again.

"I know." I let out a shaky breath, "but at the same time that's my mother. She gave me life and I feel like that's the one thing I have to thank her for."

"Why don't you write her a letter? And then when you're done you can burn it, rip it up, whatever. You can put down everything you ever wanted to say to her in it as a final goodbye." Ned grunted as he climbed up to another tree branch.

"That's a good idea Ned." I smiled kindly at him.

"Well I am the CEO of great ideas." Ned smirked cockily.

"Ugh," I groaned, "this day has been emotionally exhausting. I need ice cream." I rubbed my eyes.

"I could go for some ice cream." Peter hummed.

"Same." MJs stomach grumbled and we all laughed.

"Let's go get some ice cream, my treat." Ned jumped down from the tree and dusted off his clothes.

"Free food is the way to my heart." MJ jokingly removed a fake tear from under her eye.

"Same." Peter chuckled.

"I'm going to go tell my dad and I'll meet you guys back here." I patted Peters leg and got up from the bench, greeting a few people that I walked by along the way.

"Hey dad?" I tapped his shoulder.

"What's up?" He asked with a concern look on his face.

"My friends and I were going to go and get ice cream. I know I should be here but I just-"

"Hey, it's okay." He said softly and pulled me into a hug, "I know I was asking a lot of you to come. Go and get some ice cream and try and take your mind off things."

"Thanks dad." I sighed into his chest as I felt myself tear up again, chastising myself for being so emotional.

My dad patted my back a few times before letting me go, "I love you."

"I love you too."

-

Andddd that's the end of phase one! The next phase is going to be Civil War

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and this entire phase as a whole :)

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