Petals in the Wind

Chapter Ten

It had been three days since I last seen Henry.
I had texted him telling him I need some space to think, so he allowed me the few days off.
Fear was eating away at me. I hated fear.
It made me feel weak.
Men had always made me feel weak.
Except for Henry.
He made me feel stronger. He treated me fragile, like a flower almost.
Being around him made a fire burn inside of me.
I was scared. Scared to let another man get close to me.
I was so fucked up.
They made me this way. Jack and Clint.
I had met Jack when I was 14. I was young and unbelievably naive.
My home life was hell and at the time Jack was my safe haven. He knew what Clint was doing to me.
Hell my own mother knew what he was doing to me. She was so blinded by love that she didn't care about the fact that her husband was beating her child.
It made me sick.
I had tried to tell her. She just brushed it off saying that if I did what Clint asked then he wouldn't hit me.
She wanted to perfect family and I ruined that image for her. With my short hair and my combat boots.
Jack had soon turned out to be just like Clint. Always saying I needed to let my hair grow out, or I should stop wearing combat boots because they didn't suit girls. He would say if I did these things I would be prettier. If I were a little bit of make up I'd be prettier.
I had tried for a little while. To please him, but he would still hit me.
Don't get me wrong, I always fought back. I fought back when Clint would hit me. I fought back when Jack would too.
But I was weak.

My past was as dark as the sky outside my window. The stars were shining brightly, the deep black sky being the perfect background for them.
Henry was like my star. Shining brightness into my life.
That's what scared me.
He deserved someone who had less problems. Someone who wouldn't flinch instinctively.
He deserved someone strong.

I just wasn't sure if that someone was me.