The Arch of Love ~ Paul McCartney

45. Wildest dreams

St. John's Wood, New Year's Eve '67, 10:15 PM

'Are you sure you want to do this?' I must've asked Paul that question a hundred times, but he was adamant. Yes, apparently we had to have a New Year's party at his place. And yes, I had to come too. I was worried about what others would think, but Paul wanted to have nothing of that.

'Jane and I broke up three months ago, Arch. I'm allowed to publicly date again, even if I haven't actually been single since then. I want to throw this party so I can show you around. I'd like to brag a little that I have such a stunner for a girl,' he would counter and I couldn't bring anything against that.

And thus that's what happened. Truthfully, I was going to spend New Year's with Paul anyways. After the amazing three days of Christmas celebrations with our families, we had driven back to London and hadn't spent an hour without each other. It scared me a bit how easy it was to stick to his side and how opposed I was to the idea of leaving that spot. It was very natural to just go wherever he went, whether that was a late night in a club, out to the grocer or to fancy parties organised by his fancy friends.

Paul had invited a lot of people, most of which I actually recognised from Ritchie's party in the summer. That dang party that I didn't even want to go to, but got me Paul back in the end. But because Paul had invited all those people and because Fran and Matthew had previous engagements, I didn't know anyone. Well, I knew of them, but I didn't actually know them.

Not knowing what to do and suddenly feeling very uncertain and uncomfortable in Paul's home, I indulged myself in being a perfect host. I made sure there were enough snacks and drinks on the table in the corner, that the music was going strong and that the coats of every guest coming in found a place in the side room.

That was where I was hiding when Ritchie found me. He had a wry smile on his face and was holding a drink in his hand. 'What are you hiding in here for, then?' he asked, making me look up.

I sighed. 'I don't really want to go out there,' I admitted. I knew I wasn't supposed to say that. I wasn't even supposed to feel that, but I just couldn't help it.

Ritchie chuckled and took a seat next to me. 'Me neither,' he assured me. 'These parties aren't really my thing, either. But the missus loves them, so what can you do?' He shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

'I asked Paul to not throw the dang party, but he really wanted to. I just don't know anyone.' The words poured out now. Over the last few days I had tried to talk to both Paul and Fran about this, but neither had understood me. But now that I was talking to Ritchie, I felt like I could actually say it.

'That's not true, love,' he assured me. 'You know me and Mo and I've heard you met John too. We're not scary people, are we?'

I looked down at my hands, not answering at first. He was right, of course he was. I shook my head. 'No, you're not scary. You've been nothing but nice to me while I don't deserve that at all,' I said quietly, after which I looked up. I needed to know now. 'Why did you not sell me out and get me fired from my job. I breached the contract, didn't I? You could've had me, right there.'

He sighed, but when I looked over at him, I saw he wasn't angry or disappointed in the question. No, his face was kind and sweet and understanding. 'Because that would be a nasty move, wouldn't it?' he explained. 'Y'know, being in this band is ridiculous as it is and no one understands what it's really like. Only the others do. Ratting the only person that gets you out, is as stupid as stupid can be.

'You learn to always have each other's back, even if you don't necessarily agree. You just keep quiet and do whatever helps the other to get through it. We all only do what we need to cope. You're that to Paul. If I were to get you fired, I might as well quit the band myself. Because he would sure as hell hate me enough to kick me out himself.