My Promise To You

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BEN POV:

I pace around the bedroom. Toni stops me. "Stop!" She tries to calm me. "I can't do it." My hold my chest as I start feeling a panic attack coming. "Yes you can. I'm not going to force you to do it but you can do this, you've needed to do this for a while."

TONI POV:

"You're gonna be ok." I kiss his cheek. "I'm scared." He whispers. I've never seen him this scared. "I know. Everything is going to be ok." I take his hand and rest it on my best. "Breathe." He takes a deep breath and breathes with me. He nods. "It's gonna be a big change but it's gonna be worth it." I whisper. I kiss him slowly. "You're ok."

"Toni?" Ben slowly wakes up from the anesthesia. I look up and smile. "How do you feel?" I ask smiling. He starts to reach down. "No!" I stop him. "Do I have a dick?" His eyes widen. Oh god this again. "Yes!" I smile. "Get some rest." I smile. "You're ok." I whisper. "Where are the kids?" He ask freaking out. "They're with Betty and Veronica." I tell him. "You need to rest." I whisper. "You're ok. The kids are ok, you're ok." He nods and closes his eyes slowly. Betty walks in slowly. "How's he doing?" She ask quietly. "Had a minor panic attack but good." Betty smiles. "How are the kids?" I ask quietly. "They're wondering where you and Ben are." I smile. Ben starts to panic. "Hey! You're ok!" I whisper. I kiss his hand.

"How are you feeling?" I ask quietly. "Better." He smiles. "This is gonna sound weird-." He interrupts me. "No." He smiles. "Are you ok?" I ask concerned. "Yeah." He whispers. "How are the kids?" He ask eating his pudding. "Good! Jason started school." He looks down. "This is why I didn't want to do this." He whispers. "You needed to do this and he kinda understands." I tell him. "I want to go home." He whispers. "You will, tomorrow."

It's been a few months, everything is actually really good! Ben doesn't have a panic attack before he pees anymore that was an interesting experience. He thought it dick was gonna fall off if he so much as thought about using the bathroom. It's actually pretty funny but not really. He got approval from the doctor for sex... that didn't really end well. I touched him and he stopped me. "Ben." He looks at me. "Maybe we should try again." I whisper moving my hand up his thigh. He looks at me horrified. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "I thought that maybe if I had surgery I would feel more comfortable having sex and honestly I don't think so." He whispers. "You haven't tried." I whisper. "I'm not forcing you, but also at the same time we haven't had sex in 11 months, I'm horny." He looks at me. "Wait really? Ok maybe we should." He smiles. "I'm not forcing you." I whisper. He kisses me. "It's ok." He smiles. "Really?" I ask quietly. "Yeah." He kisses me. "Wait." He stops to get himself hard. "This is weird." He smiles nervously. He literally has to pump his fake balls to make himself hard. "Are you sure?" I ask quietly. He nods. "Yeah." He whispers. I pull him into a kiss. He lies on top of me. "It's ok." I whisper. "Do you think we need a condom?" He ask nervously. "It wouldn't hurt." I whisper. "Wait! But you don't really have sperm." I tell him. "I know but like I could have a complication or something." He whispers. "Just grab one." He goes to the drawer and slides the condom on. He kisses me slowly. He quickly unbuttons my shirt. "Again if this is too much right now we don't have to." I whisper as he kisses my neck. "No, I want to. One we started actually getting into this I realized how much I missed this." He smiles. "Ben seriously." He nods. "I'm sure." He kisses me. "Mom!" Dani knocks on the door. "God!" Ben drops on top of me. "Baby, go back to bed dad and I are busy!" I yell back. It's quiet for a minute. But not like she walked away I didn't hear her. I grab my shirt and open the door but not enough for her to come in. "Is it an emergency?" I ask quietly. She looks scared. She nods. "What happened?" I ask quietly. "I had a bad dream." I sigh. "Do you want to sleep in here?" I ask quietly. She nods. "Can you give me just one minute?" She nods. "Go grab bear." I whisper. She runs to her room. She has a stuffed dog she named bear. She doesn't even know why. "Go to the bathroom and fix yourself." Ben gets up and runs into the bathroom. Dani comes back and I pick her up. She lies her head into me and we lie down.