Trust and Love (Trevor Philips x Reader)

IX: My Solace

Trevor's POV.

It was nice having her around. Though, I wouldn't admit it anytime soon cause ... well, it sounds fucking stupid. 

She filled the silence. She filled the weird chaos that always set off in my head. I hated how I felt because it was something completely foreign to me. How could I treat this woman, who waltzed into my life the way she did and not hurt her? 

I can admit, like anyone else, I'm a fucking mess. A complete bomb, detonated and set to go off any minute. 

Y/n makes me feel otherwise, though. 

"Hey, Trev?''

"Mm, yea sweetness?'' I hummed, looking over to her. Her eyes looked tired, hair disheveled. Her body nearly slumped over on itself and her hands clasped on the railing that led down the couple of stairs in front of her. 

"I heard your name on the tv." She began but before her could finish, I stopped her.

"Ain't nothin' to worry about. All is taken care of, jus' gotta lay low for awhile.'' I simply explained as I stood up from the lawn chair and made myself over to the bottom of the stairs, looking up at her. She really must've woken up just now. 

"Lay low? What-. . .did you do?" 

I was afraid she was gonna ask that. 

I put my hands up, ready to explain myself, settling her down,''Now Now, Y/n, Trev just had to take care of a few things. Like, err, take out a couple scumbag turds out.''

It took a few lingering moments for her to finally reply, as like everything I told her didn't completely go through. To my surprise, she let out a sigh and sat down on a chair on the small porch. I placed myself down on the steps. 

"You alright?'' I asked her. 

"It's scary.'' She said, rubbing her face with her hands. A faint part of me noticed the tremors escaping her throat, making her body shiver. 

"I would've fuckin' figured you'd find out about it. I ain't the most rounded man around-''

"And you think I am?'' Y/n looked at me and the first time in my life, I wasn't staring into my mothers eyes. The feeling of being lost and hurt. I froze and swallowed my anger. 

"I never said-''

''But you have been doing so much that no one else ever fucking has. How am I supposed to reply? What am I supposed to do? What did I do to get these gestures from you?" Her body shakily stands up and I heard her hold back a sob that nearly escaped. What she said next made my heart jump out of my chest.

"How can I love someone that is just the same as me?''

"You-...''

''I do.''

I didn't know how to reply but I stared at this woman like no one else. How could she say something like that? Was it a joke? Was it my fucked up mind that just spat this scenario out? 

Was I going beyond mad?

"Where did this come from?'' I asked gently, looking down at my torn hands. 

"I don't know, Trevor. Maybe it's because you've been absentmindedly going out of your way to make room for me in your chaotic life. Maybe because when I heard your name on the news, that I know my time could be cut short with you. Anytime, some man could shoot you between the eyes and I would have to live with that.'' She paused and I slowly made myself up to her, grabbing one of her hands.