Rose II {✓}

🌹Chapter Twenty - Two🌹

🌹R O S E II🌹

🌹CHAPTER TWENTY - TWO🌹

I don't know how long it has been. A week. Two. I don't know and I don't care. I've been staying in my mom's mansion and we've actually gotten closer. I gave her permission to go to my company each day and take care of things that need to be taken care of while I've been here, sitting alone in the bedroom.

I've not much done, just binge-watched something on Netflix and eating sweet things. Just in sorrow of my life, and with each time it gets harder but still better. I can't explain it but I'm starting to feel better but I'm still feeling the worst. I've cut myself from the world and I've not turned on my phone this entire time.

The only contact to the internet that I have is the Netflix on the TV and the computer that I have but mom has already had someone do this thing on the computer that no social media can be opened which I'm very thankful for. I don't need to go through that or see anything and even when my mind wonders about it, I shut that down.

My mom said that I don't need anything to poison my mind and I totally agree with that. I'm currently binge-watching Brooklyn nine-nine which does put a smile on my farce and I'm only on the fourth season and I plan on watching Chilling adventures of Sabrina later when I'm done with these shows but I know that mom wants to be when I do watch it because she's been planning on watching it for some time.

In full honesty, my mom and I are closer than ever and I'm very happy about it. I love how my mom and I don't have secrets between us anymore. I told her everything that I know about him and what he did to me and she told me how much she wanted to take that deal back but she did not have much money to go up against the richest family in the world.

But I know that she loved me from the moment that she found out she was pregnant, of course she always had second thoughts about having a baby because of the fact that she's have to force her daughter to get married when she did not want to. And she did try her hardest about this all and she did protect me for as long as she could.

I've not been around many of the staff here because I don't want to see anyone but my mom, even when I really do like the staff but I just haven't exactly felt like myself lately and I don't want them to see me in this state. Like, I've not showered in three days and not changed my clothes for three days, I must stink and I probably look horrible.

Every time I'm in the bathroom, I try not to look at myself in the mirror because I already know that I look like a mess or a birds nest or something and I don't want to see that. It will only make me cry a whole lot more than I've cried for the past few days or weeks or I don't know how long it has been and honestly I'm not keeping up with the dates or anything really.

I've also begun writing a novel on Word on the computer, just something to do when I'm bored or something and I've only written about fifty pages but I'm actually liking it and I'm using my own feelings for it. And it actually helps writing down the feelings inside of me into a imaginative story when I don't know how to say the words in real life.

Sometimes I have a hard time explaining myself to people and talking about my feelings to them but now I feel like another door has opened for me and the feelings that I can't express are being put out and it actually does make me happy or at least happier than I've been lately.

I've cried so much and I've been in so much pain but little by little and very, very slowly I'm getting better but the wound is still so deep that it's almost killing me. I can still hear Killian's words echo in my mind and I know for a fact that I will never be able to forget them, no matter how much time passes or even how much I try to forget.