The Colour Of Pomegranates

Chapter 57

Persephone didn't quite know what to expect from their little heart to heart in Tartarus, except that whatever had been said wasn't the end of it. It was a promise, a vow - he would try for her, but it was not a fact. She knew that what had happened consumed her king and although he might have said he forgave her, she didn't feel too sure about that. It felt like such an unfair thing, having been impregnated by Zeus not only against her will but also without her knowing it - and she could not do anything about it, nor would she have done anything else at the moment itself. 

If she could feel Hades was troubled by it, she felt he couldn't imagine how troubled her mind was right now. Life was growing inside her womb, and it was a wonderful thing to be aware of - but it was also angering, unsettling and nauseating, like shimmering mercury. Not because of morning sickness, but because she had had no say in it. 

More than once she caught herself being surrounded by withered flowers and grasses. Her anger and frustration at the situation was getting the better of her. When in Tartarus, she thought about all the women before her, mortal and immortal, that had not necessarily walked into the claws of the Thundergod (cynism had become her favourite coping mechanism since she met Hades), but that walked into the claws of man. 

Her own mother, Maiden Goddess of Harvest, had been defiled by Zeus himself and Persephone had been the result. Her mother loved her dearly, and Persephone knew she would love her children just as much - but they were not welcomed into her uterus the way it was supposed to go, out of love instead of delusion of power and greed. In fact, Hades' own mother Rhea, goddess of fertility, had been pregnant the majority of her existence, but she never got to be the mother she wanted to be because of her abusive partner. Suited him right to have been chopped to pieces by his own children. And these were the women that had been marked by the men that owned them - what about Eurydice? She loved Orpheus, but even she had the smallest hint of doubt nagging at the back of her mind. Otherwise, would she have kept quiet? She waited for him and he ruined everything for themselves by trusting neither Eurydice or Persephone. 

O, Persephone was aware of the life Orpheus led Above. He rejected all female companionship and refused to sing anything other than his grieven lamenting songs. It wouldn't be long before he would meet Eurydice Below. It was not a pleasant life he led after Eurydice's death, but he could never blossom after his failure of getting her back. It wasn't about the missing part to his heart that once had been whole - it was anger at not getting his way and failing where he should have succeeded. Men and their fragile egos! 

What about Helena, who was the pawn of mighty men that wanted to show who was the most powerful and had a right to ownership of the most beautiful woman in the world? She herself had nothing to say about it when she was abducted at 13 years old. There was a reason why most occupants in Tartarus were men - it was not because men were the main source of punishment, who thought women were to weak for Tartarus and let them go - it was because those same men would never let a woman achieve the position of making a decision so major, so vast, that she got herself to a point of earning the chance to stand before the Fates and be punished to eternity in Tartarus.

The day before, Persephone reached out to Hades, who appeared to have difficulty even looking at her, and he tried to answer the heed, he tried to kiss her and he tried to hold her - but he couldn't. Trembling with anger, she remembered how he pinched the bridge of his nose before sinking on the bed.

'I can't do this, Persephone.' The way her name sounded in his voice normally made her shiver with ecstacy. She knew that there had never been a man that loved a woman as he did, nor had there ever been a woman that had loved a man as she did. The universe had woven their threads of Fate together, but somewhere along the line they had become knotted.

'Do you want me to leave?' Persephone asked him, her voice barely a hoarse whisper. If he needed space she could go to her mother. Demeter would be pleased. She could visit Artemis and Apollo. It wouldn't be too bad, although she'd much rather be with him. He shook his head.

'No. Please, stay. I - I just - Give me a moment. It makes me... angry that he thinks he can just take whatever he wants. I cannot let this go. If it were up to me I would unleash the terrors of the Underworld to make him kneel before his Death.'

'You seem angry.' Persephone looked up to Eurydice. She hadn't noticed the nymph had approached her. A faint smile curled Eurydice's lips upward. As soon as Persephone released the tense anger she felt, the ground around her slowly turned from black ashes back to yellow grasses. She let out a deep sigh. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Not at all,' Persephone said with the same tiny smile. Eurydice sat down next to her and took her hands in hers. For a minute they sat in the field in silence, before Persephone got up and freed her hands. 'I'm sorry. I need some space.' Eurydice nodded and bowed for her future queen when she walked away, up the stone steps toward the cave, toward the Above world. 

Right before she stepped into the shadows, she glanced over her shoulder. The weight of all that had happened, the good and the bad, was crushing her heart. As she turned around, she jumped at the sight of Hades, who stood right at the entrance. He cocked his head to the left, studying her before averting his eyes. 

'Look at me,' she demanded, trying to fight the red waves that rolled over her, trying to hold off the mercury that tried to pull her under, trying to fight the unsettling pink that tried to harness her, take hold of her, freeze her. 

'Are you leaving?' he asked, softly. The pink faded from her nerve ends and made more room for the red anger. How dare he ask her time and time again whether she was leaving, obviously guilt tripping her, while he was the one that couldn't even look at her? Yeah, sure, he had a hard time with all this, but what about her? She raised her eyebrows before he slowly moved his eyes toward hers. All she could see in the blue infinity were pain and uncertainty. At once all the intense colours faded to the background, leaving nothing but a blissful white. 

She cupped his cheek and smiled. This was not about who was in more pain - nor was it about who had more of a right to be angry. This was about the both of them and how they planned to make it work. Would they forgive each other and Zeus together, or would they retaliate together? As long as they did it together, it didn't matter.

'Of course not. But I am going Up.' Her hand travelled down to his neck, his shoulder, his elbow, his hand and she squeezed his fingers. 'Are you coming with me?' He nodded, although he didn't even know what she was about to do. The tiniest of smirks found a way to his lips, and she couldn't help but mirror his expression.

'I love you.'

'And I love you. Let's go. The Underworld won't perish when you're gone for a few hours.'