Imagines • Calum Hood

Stay

Fuck off and pour another drink, and tell me what you think, you know that I'm too drunk to talk right now.

—You'll ignore me again? As per usual?

She crosses her arms, sitting down on my lap. I'm not fucking ready to have this conversation at all.

—Come on, woman. I'm fucking drunk, why don't you enjoy the night?

I revolve the cup of rum before taking another sip as I watch her slowly shake her head, leaning into the coffee table to light a cigarette.

—You're always somewhere, you're always something. You'll just keep on ignoring me no matter the circumstances. Is it too hard to tell me I'm just sex? -she makes a quick pause to inhale the smoke, all I do is admire her- I mean, that won't make me feel used because I enjoy the sex pretty much... But it's just—sometimes you make it feel like it's something else.

Don't break your back for me, I'll put you out of your misery.

—Woah, you talk so much. -I blurt- Look at the stars, aren't they amazing?

—Are you seriously playing the arsehole card right now, Calum?

—If that's what it takes to make you shut up and enjoy the night. -my words are very sharp and I know, but I can't help it at all-

—Are you fucking—?! I'm not enjoying any night with you. I'm leaving.

She stands up and grabs her purse, I follow her and watch every move, look at every expression she does. I planned this night for the both of us, the terrace for ourselves, candles, flowers, drinks and snacks and now it's going to hell because of myself.

—Stay over, you know you had drinks.

—If you want me to stay over, then I'll sleep in another room and I don't want you, coward, annoying me or knocking on the door because I swear to God I'll leave no matter the hour.

Her words hit my ego, making me scrunch my face. After the word coward everything else went silent.

—I'm not a coward -I defend myself-

—You're not a coward, you're a fucking coward! You have feelings for me and can't accept it, you can't even bring yourself to tell me. You hover about it with your friends and tell them what you have planned for the next "date" but the minute I bring the subject up you manage to skip it. Whenever something feels good, you label it as just sex or a sexual connection. We've been through this thing for months now and I'm sorry if I won't let you play with my feelings. It's like you won't hold me but you won't let go of me either.

I probably deserve that. All of those words, she's right in every bit. I'm too into my insecurities that I won't talk about my feelings for her and whenever she points it out, I say it's something sex-related when we both know it isn't true.

—You can sleep on my bed, it's comfier than the other one. -I say and turn around, taking a cigarette out of the package and lighting it up as I hear her leave-

Call me in the mornin', tell me how last night went. I'm here, but don't count on me to stay.

Probably 9AM, I wake up on the couch with my clothes still on. The smell of food hits my nostrils, I know who's cooking. I take my time and go to my room, brushing my teeth and showering from last night's alcohol and cigarette scent. Duke hasn't come to greet me so I guess he's with her. He likes her.