My beautiful girlfriend sits down on the pew next to me looking around with curiosity, she's been in the chapel before and the truth is that there's not much to see apart from walls painted in beige colour and a nice stained glass window behind the altar, but today is packed with inmates and officers. Jasmine only sings once a month here and it has become a highly-anticipated show for everybody, unfortunately it means that I must behave with dignity and try to restrain myself from kissing her, shoving her till her back is lying on the pew and sliding my lips down her neck and breasts towards...
I fidget on my seat awkwardly, tapping with my heel on the floor, waiting for the concert to finish even if it hasn't started yet. I don't understand what's wrong with me, I enjoy listening to my friend singing usually, but the truth is that nothing that has happened in my life during the last three weeks has been normal... I have an official girlfriend all of a sudden and, instead of feeling like I'm suffocating, I only want to spend more time with her and, besides, it seems that I can't take my hands off her body. After three weeks, I'm usually sick of the whining and demands of the girl I'm sleeping with but Iselen doesn't complain or asks for anything, I almost had to force her to accept the art supplies despite how much she enjoys working, it's pretty obvious when she smiles leaned over her sketchpad. My girlfriend doesn't argue with me, she listens to what I say carefully, learns fast and works hard, my friends respect her and are growing fond of her. Everything is perfect, what's wrong with me?
I've never felt this attraction for anyone before, I was supposed to pretend that she was my girlfriend and sleep with this pretty girl would be an extra, but this wasn't supposed to become so real. I'm not faking when I take her hand spontaneously while walking down the corridor, when I brush her hair away from her forehead or kiss her neck and the inmates laugh their asses off when they hear me sighing delighted. And my nights are amazing, despite her bed is narrow and we don't have much room of manoeuvre, Iselen manages to turn me on like no one before only because she's twisting under my body. I had to lock us up in the library restroom yesterday ignoring my friends' complains because her movements when she took a lock of her hair and put it behind her ear almost drove me crazy. Her perfume, her taste, her moans are like a drug and I'm never satisfied.
I don't understand why her... She's pretty, smart, funny once she gets rid of her anxiety, a good person but I've met lovely girls before. What does Iselen have that's so special? Maybe the reason why she's getting under my skin is because I'm giving her a chance to spend time with me and I kick other girls' asses out of my home after breakfast... at least I call a taxi, I'm not that heartless. But I can't get rid of her in Bayview and I can't help worrying about her: Iselen has showed no sign of extreme anxiety since that first morning when she almost passed out and I locked us up on a broom closet so she could cry without witnesses. She has adjusted to the life in prison perfectly, the schedule, meals, the lack of privacy, Glenna and Moina's constant presence even when she's in the bathroom, the lack of space... this isn't normal, even if you have a strong mind... we all had a hard time accepting that we'd be stuck here for a certain period of time.
I managed to talk to Adara alone the evening she brought us scones while I was walking her to the door and the officer pretended that he wasn't looking at me. That's another thing I have to thank Iselen for, I fixed things with my cousin... I asked her if my girlfriend's mind was as cold and strong as it seemed and she swore me that Iselen was a sensitive person and was probably pretending to be calmed so she didn't disturb us.
"I can't allow that, it'd be worse if she breaks down later... It's better if she talks about it now, she'll cry and scream, getting angry and blowing off steam..."
"You need to talk to her and force her to admit she has a problem. Good luck with that, my friend can be very stubborn... Ruby... don't hurt her."
