Finding Love at the Happy Hotel | An Alastor x Reader Lemon Series

Californication

To be fair, the coffee shop we were looking for Reggie at made really good coffee. Sipping a lavender latte, I scanned the tables for our target. Alastor sat beside me, trying to act like he belonged here. To be fair, this was so far my scene, I didn't even belong here either. That fact must have been apparent because people were giving us a wide berth. 

After about half an hour, Reggie sauntered in like he owned the place, toting an acoustic guitar with him. He took a moment to set up before sitting down to play. He tuned a few strings then launched into a song. 

"What in the nine circles is he singing?" Alastor whispered to me.

I listened for a moment before making a face and replying, "The lyrics are to Californication, but no fucking clue on the melody." This douche nugget was butchering a Red Hot Chilli Peppers song. He definitely belonged in Hell.

After Californication, he began to play Wonder Wall. Why did every tool with a goatee and a guitar think he had to play that song? Reggie got about thirty seconds into his set before I set my drink to the side and stood up.

"Alright, that's enough torture for one night." I announced, walking up to the little stage in the corner where Reggie stood with his guitar, "Come on, Reggie, let's go have a talk outside." I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and began to haul him towards the door. Alastor followed behind us, an amused smile stretching across his face. 

"Who the fuck are you?" Reggie hissed, pulling free of my grip as soon as we were outside, "And I'll thank you for not yanking on my shirt. It's recycled hemp." I rolled my eyes, this guy was the worst kind of hipster. 

"No one gives two fucks about your dumb ass shirt," I retorted, "We have questions and you have answers." 

"I don't have to say anything to you," Reggie sniffed, turning to go back inside. Okay, fine. We'll play it that then. Cocking back my fist, I punched him square in the nose. 

Author's Note

Shout out to the hipster douche canoe at the Kansas Winery Sept 2019. May your horrible take on Californication leave you burning in Hell.