Recently Deleted//Colby Brock Love Story//

Bad Trip

The girls and I were sharing the bottle and on the dance floor. While dancing we'd pass the bottle as we danced. I was kind of annoyed at Colby and I explained to the girls why. We had a date night planned for today and the only reason I said it was fine to go to the party was because we'd still spend time together. But now that he'd wanna get drunk and hang with "the boys" I was beyond pissed.
Kat gave me the "boy are stupid" speech and convinced me to have a good time and get drunk. I told her it wasn't gonna be a good idea but just like the boys they said they'd come to my house and help me if I couldn't help myself.
Colby was visibly annoyed because he hated it when I got really drunk. I ignored it obviously and continued to have a good time with the girls. We the bottle finished we decided to play a game of beer pong with Tana and her friends.
It was a chaotic game due to the fact that Tana was really high along with her friends and the girls and I were really drunk. In the middle of the game Tana let me smoke from her blunt which made things worse. Tanas team eventually won but that didn't stop them from drinking the beer.
The girls were slightly drunk but still functioning, as where I was completely shit faced. I was dancing to slow music by myself on the dance floor. The girls were there but didn't wanna dance to such a slow song (a/n: The song above).
I was swaying to the song, moving my hips sensually to the song. I mouthed the lyrics trying to look sexy but probably looked too invested into the song. I was holding onto my chest as if clutching my heart and sang "what dreams are made of" as the girls laughed at my performance.
I hugged Kat and sang to her while swaying. She danced with me and laughed uncontrollably. I did the same with Devyn until the song was over. We danced to other songs until I looked around and saw a ton of eyes on me.  Well more like four or five people were looking but it was enough to make me feel uneasy.  I got a little overwhelmed and headed upstairs. 
  I didn't know it at the time but I was breathing heavily as I was walking through the house.  I didn't know where I was going, but I needed to find somewhere I couldn't hear anything and be alone.
  Everything was so slow yet so fast.  I felt like I was moving in slow motion but next thing I knew I was up stairs.  I opened almost every room, they were either locked or occupied.  Some were hooking up, others were just relaxing drinking and doing drugs.  I gave them all the best smile I can yet it was the weakest one.  Some noticed my hitched breaths but I ignored them, wanting to not witness hard drugs being done.  Plus I didn't want anyone worry about me right now.
  I saw the entrance for the roof open so I walked up it without hesitation.  When I made it on the roof I looked around at first then headed to the edge.  Los Angeles was beautiful.  Suffocating but beautiful.  When I first moved here I originally was just someone who got popular for being a Drama account.  Now I was a full time model who also managed a YouTube Channel and went on tour.
  It was a lot.  More that I thought it would be.  More than I wanted it to be.  Everything was so overwhelming along with my personal life.
  Me getting drunk and high to "let loose" really backfired.  Rather than letting loose I was having a panic attack because I was overthinking everything.  And it felt like the effects were enhancing everything. 
  Without even noticing the turning in my stomach I started to yack over the roof.  I hoped and prayed that no one was standing where I was throwing up as I held my stomach and kept throwing up.
  I felt someone hold my hair back and rub my back in circular motions. "You over did it."
Kat. Thank god it wasn't-
"Alice you've gotta be kidding." Colby said walking up to us with napkins and a water bottle. "She was here by herself?"
"For half an hour." Kat said. I didn't see it but holt was there watching me fall apart. Sam was behind Colby with a worried expression as well.
They tried to sit me properly and fix me up. Colby wiped the little bit of throw up on my face off and Kat was drowning me with water. I jokingly drank more of my punch but they didn't find it funny, as Colby grabbed the cup and threw it over the ledge.
"Alice what the hell!" Colby said. "Why are you being so annoying!"
"Me? Whenever we go to these you get to party and I'm the one who has to babysit you! Can't I have a night of fun." I said. My heart was still pounding out of my chest and I can barley get a sense of what was going on.
"Well the difference between us two is that your an alcoholic and I'm not." He said "And now you've over done it with the fucking pot."
Everything kinda stopped when Colby said that. I felt even worse. Was I an alcoholic? I mean I tend to go overboard sometimes. And I had two rampages in the past. But I haven't been drinking recently. And I never drink at parties, this was the first time in so long. I used to self medicate but not anymore. I'm not an alcoholic. I was just in a dark place at one point. Is that what they all saw me as? Is that what Colby saw me as? Obviously he does if Colby just called me one.
Colby was still going off about how dangerous it was for me to wander off the way I did, especially in the state I'm in. But I interrupted him by saying "I'm not an alcoholic".
He looked at me for a moment and sighed. "I know your not."
I looked over at Kat and gestured for her to help me up. She did so and helped me keep my balance.
  "Are you okay?" She whispered.  I knew the boys could hear us but I didn't really care.  I saw the other come up here but I acted like I didn't.
  "I think I'm having a bad trip right now.  I feel like I'm gonna die." I said.  She nodded and walked me over to holt. "I wanna go home."
  He saw how upset I was and picked me up.  Kat told the others they were gonna call it a night and the girls followed.  I looked over at Colby and he had a blank face.  I was feeling a little emotional but buried my head in Holts neck.
  We all left the party and headed to my house.  The girls helped me get ready for bed and gave me so much water.  Holt left at 1:30.  Devyn, Kat, Tara, and I all cuddled together on my bed.  Xephore didn't wanna cram into the bed so she said she'd sleep in the guest room. They all chatted until I feel asleep, still thinking about what Colby said to me.