1:05 am A Novel

Ocean Of Tears

     Karma had a moment of elation when she managed to shift slightly to the right. She looked past Rea, who'd taken a protective stance in front of the bed. Beyond him was Bennett. He stood near the door with a fluffy mutt at his side. She recognized him from the picture in his file. Unfortunately, she didn't remember him from her past.

     "What?" She heard Bennett's reply.

     "What do you mean you left with her? That was a long time ago. You're probably mistaken."

     "You don't remember because that was when you were unconscious. You got that bad head injury. I'm surprised you even remember me." Bennett chuckled and then went on. "You were out with a concussion, and your dad announced to everyone on the base that women were a nuisance to the men training. He told the men all the women had to go. My dad was pissed. That's probably why I remember it so well. Your dad told my mom to get out, and my dad went with her and of course, took me. We left. Karmen rode with us on the shuttle."

     "That's not what happened." Rea sounded adamant.

     Karma wished she could get up and calm him. The dog whined.

     "I don't know what you were told, but didn't you think it was weird that every woman was gone overnight? I get that maybe you thought your dad was great, but he was kind of an ass."

     "Karmen didn't leave the same time as you. I'm sure of it. It was..." Rea's words fell from his lips. She saw Rea bend down and pat the dog's head.

     Karma could do nothing but listen. The throbbing in her arm and leg intensified with the beating of her heart.

     "When we left, Karmen-Marie cried for the entire shuttle ride off base. My shirt was soaked. She was bawling because your dad told her you died in that last training accident because of her. He told her it was her fault. She said she killed you by being a distraction. I knew you were hurt, so I wasn't sure if it was true. I didn't say anything, but I remember it. The train ride was awful. I hate it when women cry. I never know what to do."

     "Why didn't you tell her I wasn't dead?" Rea's voice had a hard edge. Memories of that long-ago train ride passed into her brain. Back then she thought she'd let Rea down. She thought he'd died that day. If she thought he was alive, she would've connected the dots much sooner. Mac was his last name.

     "I didn't know if it was true. You looked like hell," Eric said.

     Now that she knew who Bennett was, Karma decided she should explain her actions from back then. She should tell Rea why she'd believed his father. If she could lean over, then maybe she could move her lips. Her tongue moved. It felt like sand coated the cavern of her mouth. Water would be good right now.

     The dog appeared in her line of sight. He licked her cheek. Not the moisture she wanted.

     Karma pushed thoughts of refreshing liquids out of her mind. Her pride demanded she explain that she didn't cry. That was humiliating. She hadn't cried for a man since Rea, and after losing him, she promised herself she would never be that miserable again. Up to a week ago, she'd held onto that promise.

     "You have this wrong." Rea wasn't backing down.

     His stubbornness made Karma want to laugh. If she had the energy, she would have. Rea knew when people were lying, and Bennett told the truth.

     "No, I don't. You were out of it. You have your timing off. Trust me when I say she cried an ocean of tears. I could've drowned. After I got to a new base, I found out you hadn't died because my father was working with another harvester who heard you were both still training at the bases. I never saw Karmen after that, though, so I couldn't tell her. I never saw you after that either, as you know. It was a long time ago. We were teenagers. I'm surprised it matters to you so much."

     Stark silence enveloped the room. Karma waited for Rea to respond. He looked like a statue.

     After a few seconds, Rea finally moved. It was a slight shrug of his shoulders.

     "Sorry, you're right. It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago. I'm glad you stopped by to tell me you're staying. I told Ken I hoped you'd stay. The men training under me are getting better. It's safer for you to stay."

     "It's been a while since that assassin tried to kill you. I bet everything is fine. Gears thinks God is looking out for you and this base."

     "I don't believe in God."

     "Right, I forgot, you don't believe in luck, or God, or anything like that. It's a shame, you know. Everyone should believe in something."

     "I know." Rea shifted like he was uncomfortable.

     Rea muttered some goodbyes as the two of them walked to the door. She closed her eyes for a second before looking up at the ceiling. Hearing the heavy fall of footsteps, she was forced to be motionless by her pain-racked body. Doors opened and closed. Above her, the ceiling fan spun.

     Her eyes were becoming impossible to keep open. Just as they closed, she heard Rea return to her side. She could feel him bending over her. She could smell him. He smelled like soap and sweat, and a scent that was distinctly his. She heard him sigh as he adjusted her arm. The action was excruciating.

     "You cried an ocean of tears for me, huh?"

     He spoke to the silent room. Karma wanted to answer, but talking was next to impossible. Rea spoke absently like he was having a conversation with himself.

     "Stop fighting it, Karma." He adjusted a pillow near the headboard. "What Gears gave you will keep you still and keep you sleepy. You need to sleep for your body to heal. Relax into it, and I'll be here when you wake up."

     No. She couldn't sleep. Didn't he understand? She had to tell him to not eat anything he didn't cook for himself. Karma had to go over weak places on the base. There was so much to do. She opened her eyes to slits.

     There was so much to say about... everything.

     Her eyes slipped closed again. She prayed her luck would hold a little longer. If she could at least tell him one thing...

     Words formed.

     "I didn't cry an ocean of tears," she croaked out.

     Rea had a smile lingering in his voice. "Not an ocean? How about a lake?"