No One Left To Trust... (JR/SIH/OHSHC CROSSOVER) BOOK 3

Chapter 39

Ashes' POV:

A few days pass and neither Kazu, Kyoya, or Fuyumi and her father have contacted me. I didn't try to contact then either, if I'm being honest. I cant face them. At least, not yet. And I don't think I ever will if I keep going the way I am now.

Logan and I fell into a routine that wasn't exactly normal and wasn't exactly knew. It was weird trying to move on with our regular lives. Everytime I did something that required work, I would always end up questioning myself. Whenever I watched horror movies, I'd wonder if I was into romance before. If I ate sweets, I'd wonder if I was into spicy food back then. Whenever I'd talk and listen to gossip with the girls and Valor, I questioned if I was a natural comedian when I was with them.

I believe I was in the middle of having an identity crisis everytime I thought of what I might've been like back then. Each time, it would cause me to have a panic attack so bad that I'd end up crying and giving myself a headache. Each time, Logan was there and she'd try to distract me or give me ideas on how I could've been. Sometimes they'd work and sometimes they didn't.

"It could be a form of PTSD." Valor suggests, sitting next to me on a cushion. I had filled Valor in on what had happened and immediately, they came over. Once again, I cried my eyes out to them and Logan and before I knew it, everyday since then as been a small pity party. Valor had stayed the night since I filled them in and as a distraction for all of us, they have been distracting me with things they said keeps them happy. Eating snacks, dressing up, watching movies. Today though, they decided to do my hair. However, Valor told me that it wouldn't work to put blank white over pink hair, so I'd have to wait for the color to fade out, which wouldn't be until Christmas. So by then, it will be faded enough to put the dye over it. But, while we waited, Valor, Logan and I slept together in a homemade blanket fort.

"What do you mean?" I ask them, laying on my stomach. "I thought PTSD was only something people who went to war got?"

Valor shakes their head. "Nope. PTSD can happen to anyone who has experienced somethin triggering. Be it from a loud noise, abuse, seeing people die, or even going to war. Since you found out that you were abused in your past life, that could be causing your identity crisis right now."

I groan and bury my face in the cushion. "How could my abuse cause an identity crisis?"

"Didn't you say Kyoya said that your last name has changed before when you were learning to be yourself at happy?" Logan asks, eating a bowl of ice cream.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah..."

"Well, maybe that's it?" She says simply. "It could be your mind and body constantly going back to that."

I lift my head up, thinking about it. "Maybe.... It's possible, I guess... But, I don't even remember it personally. I don't know how true their words are. They did say I was hard to read at times, so how would I know that's the truth?"

"Maybe it is and you're thinking too much?" Valor asks, making me look at them.

"You're not wrong. But, considering my situation...." I didn't even have to finshe my sentence and they nod, understanding.

"Okay, you've got a point." They say, shrugging. Just then, the doorbell rings, bringing all of our attention towards it.

"I'll get it!" Logan says. She sets down her bowl and starts to crawl out. "It's probably Joko and Alex. They said they would be back in time before Christmas and would stop by before then."

"I guess they're early." I say. "Christmas isn't for another two days."

"That's early to you?" Valor asks, laughing. "I say that's just in time."