Destinee:
I laid in bed— still in the same position from hours ago. I honestly didn't want to move, I still thought about everything that took place yesterday— it made me scared. I didn't want to go outside, I was thinking about things that could've happened if I bumped into him.
Most importantly, I was thinking about my mother. I haven't received a call yet that told me how she was doing— they said it was chloroform in her system, but how bad could that be?
I reached into my duffel bag where all of my things were, pulling out my notebook of thoughts.
The scariest incident that has ever happened in my life happened yesterday. Almost getting my virginity take from this guy that I've never even spoke to or held a conversation with, a man that is years older than me. I couldn't even believed that a man so much older than me would try to take advantage of a child like me..
With an incident like this, I just wish that I had my father. He's the man that's supposed to handle situations like this. And give me talks on how a women is suppose to be treated, even spoil me like most girls at my school are getting spoiled by their fathers. But he decided to up and leave during the wrong time.
I remember back when I was younger, at least thirteen or fourteen, I would have thought about leaning on these random guys for emotional support, letting them take over my body in ways that I didn't think was okay now. I had to push those thoughts aside and clear my head, I didn't want to be one of those fast girls that's all over my neighborhood.
So when I met tj, I wasn't scared to open up to him on the first conversation. I was tired of keeping my feelings bottled in, of course I could've talked to kierra about it. It's just that she's to quick to give me money which I don't want, I just wanted for her to listen.
Meeting tj made me happy, I finally realized that I needed to boost my confidence and stop listening to what other people had to say about me. And dealing with my problems got a little easier.
But after the most scarring incident that almost happen, me being back to normal wasn't happening no time soon.
11•29•18
I closed my notebook and placed it back into my duffel bag, refusing to let these tears fall from my eyes. Maybe if I stopped overthinking, it'll get better.
Kierra walked into the room with a ihop bag in her hands. "Hey love, are you hungry?"
I shook my head no, which was a lie because I was very hungry.
"Destinee, you look a hot mess. Please eat so we can fix you up. It's time to get out of this room."
I sighed. "I don't want to go anywhere.."
"Our first stop is to visit your mother, they haven't called yet and I'm worried right along with you. Then we can go shopping or at least walk around somewhere."
"I'm only down with the first part."
"Girl, eat so we can go do something."
"Fine." I mumbled, grabbing the bag of food from her. In the container was pancakes, hash brown, bacon and scrambled eggs.
I immediately began to eat. Good thing she offered I surely wasn't planning on getting out of bed any time soon.
"Tj called to check up on you and see how you were doing."
I forced the fakest smile ever on my face. "Aw, tell him I said thanks.. I guess and I'm doing fine."
"You don't look like you're doing fine. Stop beating yourself up over a situation you had no control of.."
"Maybe if I didn't walk around so comfortable in my own home this wouldn't have happened.."
"By wearing shorts and a tank top you're too comfortable? Girl, it's your house, not his. What is he supposed to be attracted to? Your legs? Your shoulders? He surely didn't see anything else."
