Butterflies

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Butterflies swarm my hands
Holding a piece of your blackening
Flesh
It burns my nostrils
I fell in love 4 times
3 only loved me back.
2 only stayed
1 only ment what they felt.
Love is such a fickle thing
Isnt it darling?

You had a way to make your words
Coat my lips like a thick pink lipstick
The kind receptionists wear
I wanna eat the left over love you
Supposedly have
Just friends
Can I tolerate you?
Probably not to be honest.
I can't tolerate myself
That California sun
It burnt my skin
That smell of gasoline
And a lovestruck teen

We sang Blackbear in the car
Dont you remember that?
Anxiety
"You give me anxiety"
You ruined your own future.
But you ruined mine too.
Butterflies swarm my eyes
Tearing into the blue abyss
Ripping out the memories
I wanna supress
Why did you choose to come back
You could have silently left
And kept me
From hurting over someone
Who doesn't even exist anymore

That night on the floor,
It was the only night we shared
Two children
Unknowing of the future.
We had fun
But it mostly was me
Trying to save myself through you
When I had no one to turn too.
I tried to be what I was seeking to you
But nothing matters anymore.
Not us.
Not our midnight conversations.
Your happy
And I'm not
I'm glad you found yourself
It's what you wanted after all.

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