Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Pine Scented Candles

"What were Chik Fil-A's other mascot ideas before landing on an illiterate cow begging for his life?"

- SheerRatchet from twitter.

Beta:

Forgive me for typos. I'm tired. =w=

Warnings: Madara and Lilly meeting. You have been warned. Also beware the trolling author. :p

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The forest that resided in the Land of Iron was a rather pretty place in a gloomy-snowy kind of way. The trees were tall—not as tall as Konoha trees because Hashirama was such a showoff—and best of all, most of them were pine trees.

Pine trees smelled the best. Fight me.

'You know...'

There actually weren't that many scented candles in the Narutoverse. Candles were used for practical lighting in the absence of electricity. Scented candles were one of the few consistent things all my lives enjoyed, but every time we came into this world it was a rarity. Scented candles weren't common, and consequently they were expensive to come across.

The only one of my past non-ordinary lives (counting all my lives reborn on Earth as ordinary, even if some of those were literally insane) that had consistent contact with scented candles was Miwa in the Hunter x Hunter universe. Gon and Killua learned pretty quick how sensitive her nose was and both started carrying around nice smelling things to calm her down, and y'know, discourage random bijū bombs.

Except on the Dark Continent. What a fuck fest that was.

'Note to self: if ever reborn in that world without Gon or Killua head straight to the Dark Continent, start up a demon army, and conquer other worlds.'

I didn't want to a genocide run with the people I cared about, but it might be fun on worlds I had no emotional connection to.

'Oh my Goggle Gods this split personality / multiple lives is going to be hard to deal with. Back you evil side, back!'

I should learn how to make my own scented candles.

Starting with a pine scented one.

As soon as I was done here I'd make some clones to collect pine tree seeds. Now that Konoha wasn't going to get blown up again in the foreseeable future (Boruto's generation better be hella well-behaved or so help me I will actively try to make them insane instead of letting my passive insanity infect them.)

'Actually, I could probably get Naruto to sit on the seeds in sage mode to trigger rapid growth.'

That'd be swell. My own little forest in the backyard, perfect for harvesting fresh food and ingredients for delightfully scented candles.

Ay and I hopped through the snowy pine trees without much fuss. His bodyguards kept shooting me suspicious glares, but I easily ignored them. After about maybe half an hour of running we reached our destination.

"Kisame-sama!"

I think anyone could safely guess who squealed that with pure glee.

One minute I was soaring through the trees, my vision laser focused on my blue-skinned idol, the next I had slammed into his very surprised body and tackled him to the ground.

I nuzzled his side affectionately. "Kisame-sama."

He stiffened considerably, adjusting to sit up with me hugging his waist and pretty much in his lap. He blinked at me in surprise. "Hello, fangirl."