Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Bonus - Quest for Alien Booty

This was the story of how I achieved alien booty for my harem.

It all started at a wedding boutique.

"Why am I here?" Sasori asked, a level of exhaustion in his tone not often heard.

It was a valid question.

Ino, Hinata, Karin, and I had gotten together for a nice girl's night. One thing led to another and in the morning we decided to go to a bridal shop to try on wedding dresses.

Because why not?

Sasori had moved in with me after the war the same day Kimimaro moved out to live with Jūgo. The puppet master insisted it was for the greater good of the world because if I was left alone who knew what I would get up to. It was not at all because the grumpy man was lonely and had grown used to my company and affection.

He was very adamant about that last part.

"We need a groom," I answered cheerfully. "And you look so cute."

"There's no one else we can really ask either," Ino added, doing a twirl in her wedding dress. "As an artist, you can appreciate beauty."

"I appreciate eternal beauty. Weddings are fleeting. The marriages that last always end in death," Sasori said flatly.

"But they're pretty," I said. I took Ino's hands and we spun around. "And isn't this fun? Spinning in pretty dresses is the best."

Hinata took a dainty sip from her champagne glass. "Would you like to try a dress on, Sasori-san?"

Sasori's sheer look of no made me cackle, and the other girls giggled.

"I wonder if I should do a wedding theme for one of the Harem Anniversary parties," I mused. The official day to celebrate my harem was on my birthday, starting from when I was sixteen since that was the legal age of adulthood in that world, ignoring shinobi rank. The first Harem Anniversary was quite the get-together.

Although the one that had just passed–my eighteenth birthday–was one for the history books. I warned everyone before hand that I would be adding mystery concoctions hidden inside the food and drinks, each one causing a different reaction.

Some were hesitant to try it, but peer pressure won over and within an hour after dark everyone invited was either wasted, or trippin' and strippin'.

I did hire a few sober people to babysit. People that out of their mind couldn't really consent, you know? Wanted to make sure no one did something they'd regret.

But damn was it hella fun.

So many pictures. So many memories.

My next one would have to be grand.

"A themed one would be fun," Karin remarked, fixing her glasses. She had a sly smile on her face and she discretely wiped at her nose. "Seeing Itachi-san in a maid uniform would be fun."

I beamed. Itachi and Kisame worked at my bakery in Konoha. I had taken on a couple of apprentices–Haku from Kirigakure and a sweet girl from Sunagakure–who finished their training last month and went on to open their own bakeries in their villages.

Itachi was ordered by Sasuke to repent for his lies by working at my bakery. He obliged. I ruthlessly took advantage of it.

I couldn't always get him to wear every uniform I picked out, but I did get him into cat ears every Monday. Mostly because Mondays were dedicated animal days and I invited members from the Neko Clan under the Uchiha Clan. They were so cute! I loved watching them drink warm milk like it was sake and talk about various cat things. The cat ears headband let us communicate with them comfortably, and that was the only reason Itachi would be willing to indulge.