Anna was up early the following morning, she had left Bjorn sleeping. Her mind was busy and she had things she needed to catch up with before tomorrow. She made a determined effort to make it downstairs before she was sick and today she managed it, she used the downstairs cloakroom when she needed to.
Anna pottered around laying the breakfast table for them and making herself tea, she ate her ginger biscuits and took her first set of tablets before heading into her study to look at the drawer full of potential threats that she hadn't even touched since Bjorn had been back. It was so early it was still dark so she put her desk lamp on and put Bach on the music system quietly and started sorting through the pile. She put them in date order first then started reading them, oldest ones first, thankfully in this first set there was nothing here that she hadn't seen before. It was the same old stuff involving her kids, grandchildren and Bjorn, of course they upset her but she had learnt over the years to not let them get to her so much, she came across several regarding Lena she snorted as she put them in the filing pile. Lena was on her own now. Anna worked methodically for well over an hour, marked the ones that were of concern and sorted them as she always did. She finished the last of her tea and gathered her pile and took it down to the cellar quietly. She spent a while down there filing it correctly and then thought she might as well check the panic room, she normally checked it once a week but hadn't since she and Frida had used it. Once she was happy she locked it all back up and went back upstairs to the kitchen and started to get the bread, butter, meats and cheeses out ready for breakfast. She dropped the butter on the floor in fright when the door to the garden flew open and she was too scared to even squeak "Fucking hell baby you scared me to absolute death" she heard Bjorn's irritated voice and settled immediately "I thought you'd been kidnapped" he strode over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and lifted her "Anna, do it RIGHT now" he growled. She hurriedly wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck concerned to feel him tense and shaking. He was in his pajamas with her old gardening coat thrown over the top. "Anna, don't you EVER scare me like that again. My heart won't take it. I woke up, it's still pitch black you weren't there, you haven't used the bathroom. I came down to the kitchen, the sun room, your study. Nothing!! I looked again and find the table laid and your cup on the side. I went into the garden nothing, I went to the horses nothing. Christ baby where have you been?" he sounded anguished and he gave her a gentle shake "I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep" she said in a small voice "I was in the cellar filing" she burst into tears as much from fright as anything else "I didn't want to wake you, I used the bathroom down here. You're so tired because of me" he sighed "I never thought of the cellar" He hugged her tightly to him soothing them both "Baby I'm sorry, please don't cry, you're very necessary to me. I got scared when I couldn't find you. I didn't mean to make you cry" he smoothed her hair out of her eyes "I love you so much" he told her. "I love you too" she sobbed "I'm sorry I scared you, you shouldn't have to be awake at 4am just because I am" Bjorn carried her over to the chair and sat on it cuddling her to him."I'd rather be up with you, I get to spend more time with you but if you want time alone, just wake me and tell me and I'll soon go back to sleep baby" he reassured her wiping her tears away with his fingers "I promise I'll tell you. I'm sorry" she stammered through her tears "I won't scare you again"
They sat for a while content to comfort each other then Anna said in a small voice "I dropped the butter and smashed the dish when you came in the back door I'm very sorry" He scowled gently at the unwelcome reminder of the Tomas effect."it's just a butter dish Anna, it's ok. I'll clear it up. It's my fault really when I threw the back door open" "I don't know if I have more butter" she whispered "Well if we haven't it won't kill us to do without it will it" he whispered back. She smiled "No, it won't, I can order some more" He kissed her gently and got up and put her back on the seat "Just sit there a minute in case there's sharp stuff on the floor. I have my boots on and you've only got socks on I don't want you to cut your feet" he went to turn the main light on so he could see. There were shards of ceramic all over the floor so he scooped the butter up first with the dustpan and put it in the bin them swept up the shards carefully and put them in the bin too. Anna hopped off the chair and fetched the mop to get rid of the grease then said "Bjorn I AM sorry. I didn't think. I won't make the same mistake again" "Hush Anna, it's fine. As long as you are safe I am happy" "Can you make the coffee Bjorn? I won't want it after today for a while." He grinned and went to take his boots off and Anna's coat and went back to the kitchen to make coffee. He couldn't deny that he felt quite weak with relief. That was quite possibly the worst 20 minutes of his life when he couldn't find her, he hoped it would never happen again, he thought he needed a stiff drink let alone coffee.
They sat at the table eating breakfast and Bjorn looked at his watch 515am he shook his head "What made you get up baby? You were sleeping better with me here. What can I do to help you?" "Oh Bjorn it isn't you, its the day before chemo I get twitchy and I try and do all the things I won't be able to do when I'm doing chemo. It was bothering me that I hadn't looked at my drawer full of threats since you've been back. I needed to know what had come in, if I needed to take action. If we've both got our eye off the ball next week and something happens I'll never forgive myself" Bjorn sipped his coffee and reached for her hand "and what did you find baby? Nothing unusual, nothing I haven't seen before
I've actioned the ones I needed to. What do you want me to do about the ones that have come in for Lena? It's not nice of me but I'm not inclined to action them now but it's your call" Anna told him gently. "Will you let me come down to the cellar with you and see what you looked at today. Not just the ones for Lena" he hastened to add. Anna frowned "Can you cope with it Bjorn? I won't handle it very well today if you collapse again like you did with Christian and Benny" she looked concerned "Yes baby, I'll be fine. We've come a long way since then and this time I know what to expect. I can promise you that I won't collapse" "Then of course, you can come down later when you've finished breakfast" she agreed "I promised I won't hide anything from you anymore" Bjorn smiled at her satisfied and finished his coffee, he got up to pour himself another one "Do you want another coffee baby?" he asked holding out his hand for her mug "Yes please" she answered "Anna I want you to try and eat another slice of bread with something on it" he told her gently. "Bjorn I'm not hungry" she whispered "I know you're not but next week you'll hardly eat at all so I need you to try for me. I'll sit and eat with you baby" he said soothingly. She met his eyes and saw his love, his worry and his determination. She knew he was right, she had to try. She took a piece of bread and slathered it with liver sausage and then cut it up into small pieces. He sat back down with two coffees and smiled at her approvingly and proceeded to prepare himself the exact same slice. "You don't have to cut it up Bjorn, you don't have trouble swallowing" she giggled softly "You're crazy you know Bjorn" "I've told you before baby, crazy about you" he ate his first square of bread and waited for her, making it a game. She huffed delightedly and ate her square and they carried on like this until Anna had finished her whole piece of bread. "That's better" Bjorn remarked happily "Right let's leave our stuff Benny and Frida won't be up for hours yet it's Sunday, we can sit with them when they come down. I'm going to light the fire now so it's lovely and warm all day. It'll be nice to get all the work done early then we can relax" Anna giggled "I know what you're doing Bjorn, you're making the best out of being up stupidly early but thank you" "Well I'll get used to it when you want me with you. My insomnia is cured since I've been here baby, I didn't sleep properly for decades. I was always up half the night working, sometimes all night" he sighed "I know you'll think I'm being fanciful but it pains me that for all these nights we've spent awake over all of these years we were less than an hour apart and we were both awake at the same time. I thought of you all the time you know" he shared "Me too Bjorn. I used to watch the moon and wonder what you were doing and pray that it was all worth it, that you were happy" she told him quietly. He cuddled her into him "I wasn't happy but like you said it was worth it for the girls and I have to hold onto that" Anna nodded "You ready to go down?" she asked. Bjorn chuckled "Wait till I've lit the fire then we'll go down together"
The cellar did not hold good memories for Bjorn but this time he was ready for what he would face nevertheless he still took a deep breath as she opened the door and wandered in. She seemed totally unfazed but then he supposed that this was her world, she went straight to the end filing cabinet and opened it. She pointed out the bits he wanted and he flicked through them "How do you keep so calm Baby?" he questioned curiously "I just want to damage all these people that think it's ok to threaten you and my family" he was grumpy for sure "Because I've done that Bjorn and it nearly drove me insane, I lost my mind and admittedly Tomas didn't help but I had to decide to live Bjorn. I had to make a choice to try and divorce myself from it a bit so that I could deal with it better" He just couldn't help himself he picked her up and put her on the small desk and kissed her thoroughly "I'm so fucking lucky you're still alive. Benny says you have the courage of a lion, I thank God he's right baby" she was still trying to get her breath back and was touching her lips in wonder "I did what I had to do and I'll carry on doing it baby" she said firmly "but you can kiss me like that any time you like" he laughed and lifted her down "What should I do about the Lena ones?" she asked carefully "I will tell the solicitor, he can deal with it and we can forward them to him confidentially "she should not be your concern anymore, she isn't mine other than she is the mother of 2 of my children" Anna tried to hide her relief and nodded "Ok" Bjorn winked at her, he knew what she was thinking and she blushed "Sorry" she mumbled "I don't like her" "You have no reason to like her and neither have I" he retorted "Anything for the girls this time?"he asked "No, nothing for either of them. Linda and Christian this time, it'll get worse once her pregnancy shows it always does" Bjorn frowned, he had a lot to learn but he surely would. "Right come on let's go up then if we're done? he questioned "I'm done, I checked out the panic room earlier on and it's all fine"
By 0630 Anna had made a beautiful smelling Ragu sauce and left it to bubble slowly on the back of the stove. Bjorn was amused because the pan was enormous and even he had needed to put a bit of extra effort in to lift it onto the stove.
Despite her early activity and her cooking Bjorn could still feel her agitation coming off her in waves much as she tried to hide it, he made a sudden decision, as it was just starting to become light he hustled her quietly up the stairs and made her get dressed in jeans and her boots. He popped a thick jumper over her head and despite her loving exasperation refused to tell her what he was up too. He got himself dressed in similar warm gear and hustled her back down the stairs and helped her put her coat and scarf on "Bjorn, please darling what are you up to?" "No time to explain. Can you walk a bit faster today or do you want me to carry you?" "What's the rush?" she grumbled "I can walk fast for a bit, not for long though" "Come on then, let's go" Bjorn said. He walked her to the stables and took a very eager Sanderson out of his stall, it had been a long time since he had been out. "Help me tack him up baby" he asked "I can't ride him Bjorn, not yet. I miss him" she looked upset and she petted Sanderson's nose. "Just hush and help me baby" Bjorn dealt with the heavier stuff and Anna helped where she could and when they were done Bjorn led Sanderson out, the sky was just beginning to turn silver in the pre dawn and he kept an eye on it as he said "Right are you ready?" he didn't give her chance to answer as he lifted her carefully up onto Sanderson's back. Bjorn was delighted that he didn't even move, he stood quietly and accepted this different way of doing things. Anna was fretting "Bjorn I can't baby I'm not strong enough anymore" "No Anna darling I know" he swung himself up behind her and pulled her back until she was settled and safe against him "That's why we'll ride him together, we are stronger together" he reminded her. "Let's go" Anna was speechless as Bjorn guided Sanderson down the path to the beach and they made it just in time to see the sky turn pink and the most beautiful sunrise. Anna thought she might be in the middle of a miracle as she watched the spectacle on her favourite horse with the love of her life holding her safe in his arms.
Bjorn controlled Sanderson expertly but he was a good boy, Bjorn let him go in the sea and both Anna and Sanderson loved it. He let them canter and in those moments in the cold light of morning Anna couldn't stop the tears or the laughter as Bjorn made it possible finally for her to shed the last of her shackles.
