Glorious Defeat.

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The week following the confrontation between Frida and Mona was surprisingly peaceful but Anna was on edge, Bjorn could feel it and he could physically see it. He realised that she was navigating the peace and readying herself for the storm that she knew must follow, indeed he knew that this here now was his new world, this was the everyday that she'd spoken of so eloquently and he knew from what Christian had told him and what he'd seen in her archive that this respite would only be brief. He couldn't deny his nerves because she'd spent 40 years shielding him and their family from this reality of hers, from harm, from fear and she'd shouldered it all alone, he'd only been through one breech alarm and if he were honest he really had no idea what to expect from her everyday life. He thought back to the first time he'd seen her in her panic room with her hair all stuck up wearing a t shirt of his that he had assumed that she'd thrown away decades ago but that he'd since found out she held onto with the fury of a tiger because it gave her strength and peace because it was his. His battered old heart was still soft at the thought of her wanting him close to her, that something of him had been close to her through the years that they were apart. He wished he'd have thought to keep something of hers, at the time he'd been furious and hurting and had got rid of everything except Viggso and the movies. He winced as he remembered the regret that had overtaken him very shortly after when he'd had nothing. He smiled grimly as he remembered how he'd felt that morning when Benny had phoned him, before he'd even known the things that she'd been hiding and how badly he had felt, how helpless and angry he'd been that she was facing her terror alone, how the regret that had roared through him had left him flayed and the guilt that followed nearly destroyed him. They had come a long way since then he reflected and just like that his nerves vanished, he'd vowed that night that never would he feel like that again and he was determined that would be true.
Never could he have imagined then that they would have come so far, that they would be promised to each other once more, that he would wear a 44 year old ring that had always belonged to him or that she would finally be wearing rubies that he'd bought for her a lifetime ago. She was his everything and he knew without doubt he was hers, he would never stop thanking the universe for their second chance. No-one would get close enough to cause her or his family harm now that he was here with her.
He knew from Linda and Christian that his presence had settled her, he had to trust their words and hope that it would ease her angst for she surely eased him.
His contemplative mood was interrupted by her wandering into the room "Bjorn, I'm sorry" she mumbled "I can't settle, i feel like something is going to happen" he couldn't help his resigned chuckle at how aligned their thought processes were " come here" he murmured softly and opened his arms "are you laughing at me?" she grumbled as she settled in his arms and made herself comfortable, his recliner creaked but he wouldn't have it any other way "nope" he denied gently " I was chuckling at the fact our minds are so in tandem now. I was just thinking the same thing" he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head "Baby, I don't think we should let this beat us. I won't let anything happen to you and you know it" "I know, but it isn't just that, I've been looking after myself alone for a long time. I need something to happen so that I know how you'll cope, how we'll cope together with it. When the alarms are going off, when you have to fight your way in and out, when I'm pacing the house at all hours of the night, when the shutters are down and I'm not brave enough to open them, what happens then? I'm still scared that when you truly realise what my life always will be that you won't be ok with it" Bjorn sighed soundlessly and settled further into his recliner "Baby I know that my track record isn't great but that was a long time ago. I'm so happy with you, I love you and I need you. You know that. I'll take on anything that anyone throws at us. I'm ok with it, I'll always be ok with dealing with it. I'll get angry with it for you and I'll do my best to get rid of them but I'll be ok if they never go. Anna you know I won't let it rule our life though don't you? You know we have a life to live and I refuse to let it stop us. We are all together now and that won't change" she hummed happily and snuggled in further "they will come Bjorn" he shrugged "I know, let them come"
He felt her settle and her breathing slowed, his own mind settled as much as it ever would and the peace was profound. He idly toyed with several ideas and then he hit on what it was he was looking for "Baby, will you go out with me?" he felt her surprise rather than heard it "you haven't asked me that for 45 years" he chuckled softly "you asked me that before our first date" he chanced a peep at her and he could see she was smiling "I haven't " he agreed "another of my mistakes" he paused "will the answer be the same?" he wondered "it will" she agreed with a speed that warmed his soul "yes I want to, we could eat in the truck. Chips!" He was gently indignant "Baby I can do better than that! I'm not taking you for chips in the truck!"
"But I'd love it Bjorn" she protested "we used to. I'll be fine with you" he relished the trust she had in him "I'll take you for chips" he conceded because he had good memories of it as well "but not this time" "you have a plan?" she asked suspiciously "always I do, you know that" he teased and then was diverted by a thought "Anna, we are millionaires, between us we could buy half of Sweden and you would be happy with chips? Sat in the truck?" she giggled "slight exaggeration" then said seriously "money means nothing to me. I never did any of it for the money. I did it for the joy of it because I had a gift to share, then I met you and I did it for us, not for the money. That was just a afterthought. Money doesn't make me happy Bjorn so yes I want chips in the truck with you. I'd love that, I'll be with you. You make me happy and I told you I'd love you if you had nothing, I didn't lie." He squished her tight to him and couldn't help his words "You're not like Lena, I can't explain...I ...." thankfully she didn't take offence "I've been telling the world that for decades" she remarked laughing then sobered to say "I do understand Bjorn. I love YOU, always did, always have Baby" she skillfully changed the subject "so chips next time we go out, where will we go this time?"
He tilted her chin up with a gentle finger and claimed a kiss that predictably went further than either of them had planned and by the time Bjorn pulled away they were both flustered and breathless. He cleared his throat "yes well... we'll finish this conversation then finish that one" she blushed but didn't argue and he chuckled "I thought we might go eat our body weight in pasta and then stay at Vallentuna, just us. No kids, no one else just us. Benny and Frida went but we haven't been back yet. I'd like to take you. Next time we could ask Benny and Frida if they'd like to go on a double date like we used to. This time just us, I want you to see Vallentuna when you are well and you can enjoy it, we promised you pasta, our pasta when you finished chemo. Will you let me take you?"
Anna wriggled so that she could see his face then made him laugh helplessly like no one else ever had when she planted a million kisses all over his face without pause until he begged for mercy "I take it that's a yes then?" he asked breathlessly once he'd got hold of her "So much a YES!" she squealed "I want to go with you so much. I dreamed of it" "no questions Anna?" he asked seriously, she shook her head "I want to live Bjorn, with you. I'm safe with you. I trust you, I trust in us. I want to go out with you, I want to see the things I've missed. I want to live" she stopped at the expression on his face "what?" she demanded "still takes my breath away when you say you trust me, that you feel safe with me. After everything you've been through all it takes is this" he waved his hand around them. All it takes is us together. All is takes is what we were. All it takes is you trusting me" "All it takes is all of that and what we've built now, we've fought, suffered and cried for this Bjorn. I won't waste a moment" she told him "I do trust you with everything I am, even at the worst times I trusted you" he tugged her till she was on top of him and he held her tightly to him "when can we go?" her voice was muffled in his chest, he noted that she didn't complain that he was holding her too tightly even though he knew that he must be. He loosened his grip "tonight, we have the truck we can be spontaneous. I want to take you tonight, I can keep you safe Anna" he felt her innermost battle and waited patiently "tonight?"she whispered "I'm not dressed" "we can get dressed" he countered "people will stare" "yes they will" he agreed "will it really matter? What will they do?" he asked gently "Will I let them bother you?" she won the battle "you won't, it doesn't matter what they do or say. It doesn't matter at all. It can't be any worse than before" he grinned happily "no it can't, shall I book?" "Yes, I want our table" she said firmly "you remember it?" he wondered "yes, I used to sit there even after we divorced then I couldn't go, the harassment got too bad" "and yet the kids never said" he marvelled "why would they?" she was confused "because I sat there every time I went there too. Every time" he sighed heavily "knowing what I know now it is no surprise but thank you. I'm glad we are the same" she told him "we are so different you and me and yet in the things that really matter we are the same"
The silence returned but it wasn't uncomfortable "go and see if we can go Bjorn. If we can't we could still go to Vallentuna couldn't we?" she asked "I don't see why not. Thank you" he said sincerely "I'm so lucky you bought it back" she told him "thank you for sharing it with me" he realised she was serious "when I bought it Anna I wasn't in a good place you know, I needed somewhere safe for me, the kids and to be able to take some comfort in our memories. I never could have dreamed you would come, you would see it, share it with me. It's been a home for us all for decades and I'll never part with it. I want to share it with you, it can be a bolt hole for us when the walls of Ekero close in on you. You don't have to thank me, Vallentuna saved my life, I should be thanking you for coming with me"
"Were you so bad Bjorn?" she asked gently, it was one of the few times of their lives they hadn't quite got round to discussing fully but given how far they'd come Bjorn didn't even hesitate before saying "yes Baby I was, I was struggling to hold everything together, drinking far too much, fighting with Lena day and night, I missed you endlessly and you wouldn't talk to me. I was fighting for the kids, all of them. I had an insight into how you had told me you felt and the guilt from that nearly crushed me. I was close to the edge Baby I won't deny it with you. Benny was so poorly for a long time and he had no-one but me, the pressure was immense. Once I had Vallentuna back it gave me a place to heal, to let go, it healed me. The walls are soaked in memories of us, I restored the garden back to how you had it by myself, the agony eased but never went away until I had you in my arms that day at Ekero. The pain stops Anna when I'm with you"
"I'm sorry Bjorn, I want to go with you to Vallentuna more than ever, it will heal me too. I hate that you were struggling and I wasn't there. Guess I have to live with that too like you do for me" they shared a tender kiss "do me a favour Baby" he whispered "pack stuff to keep there, something of everything..a suitcase not just a change of clothes or pajamas. Something of everything you have here" she remembered the unexpectedly heartfelt conversation they'd had in the bathroom at Vallentuna when she'd last been there "I will Bjorn, I'll go and do it now while you book us in." she smiled at him "I'm excited to go Bjorn. Maybe next time we go I'll bring some bits and pieces I have that were there before. Can I do that?" He sat up with her in his lap "Yes! What do you have?" he asked curiously "that would be telling now wouldn't it?" she teased. She hopped off him " call them Bjorn"
The phonecall itself didn't take long but Bjorn was treated to the ebullient tones of the owner who he knew well and the excitement engendered by Bjorn's plan was off the scale. Bjorn spent a little time discussing what was needed and the owner was more than accommodating, by the end Bjorn was well satisfied and feeling the stirrings of excitement. Their days of dates had been curtailed by ABBA and he shuddered to think how long it had actually been since they'd been on a date, he didn't want to know. He text Linda to let her know they were going to be out overnight then went to see where Anna was. His eyebrows shot up at the sight of her already at the top of the stairs getting ready to bump a suitcase down "Don't! Don't you dare!" he rumbled and took the stairs two at a time to get to her, he snatched the suitcase out of her hand and took it straight down "don't think of it. You were quick" he commented "I'm just ready to get out of here, I have everything I need for this time" she reassured him "I want to go with you, I'll take more if I need it next time we go. I have something of everything" Bjorn studied the suitcase, it was a big one and he settled down "just need my medication and as i have spares I can take some over to leave there. Is that ok?" she asked "its ok" Bjorn murmured slightly overwhelmed that this was happening. He watched her head to the kitchen, shook himself out of it and followed her "we are booked in for 7, Luca says it isn't too busy tonight and it's all locals, he's as excited as me" Bjorn chuckled "ooh good, we can go to Vallentuna first and finish our conversation" Anna winked at him "anything else we need" Bjorn pulled his scattered wits back together for what felt like the 14th time today "milk" he mumbled and his wits were scattered again when she pressed herself against him "what's the matter Bjorn?" she asked innocently "you know very well what's the matter" he grumbled "anyone would think I was teenager not seventy bloody three. No one would believe that I'm focused, business like and successful" he sighed "you're focused on me, your business right now is me and you're bloody successful with me aren't you?" she planted a kiss on him then said "are you ready?" Bjorn looked at his watch "Baby it's only 1500 are you sure you..." he didn't get the chance to finish "Yes, let's go. I bet you don't need to take anything do you? Everything is there isn't it?" "Just need my phone, keys and you Baby" he agreed "shoes, I need shoes" he amended laughing.
The journey to Vallentuna went quickly with Anna sat happily in the back, they listened to a music shuffle through Bluetooth and Bjorn's phone, Bjorn's eclectic and wide ranging taste in music now did not surprise her in the slightest, he had always had an endless questing mind but it did surprise her when she heard her own later in life voice "My colouring book?" she questioned "it's probably one of my favourite albums Baby, you looked great, sounded amazing and you're singing our story. Whether you admit it to the world or not it is us" "it is" she admitted "I never told anyone though, it wasn't anyone's business but mine and at the time I didn't think you cared" he snorted as he pulled into their road "oh i cared Anna, more than cared"
He took a good look around as he pulled up to the gates and seeing not a soul around them he pressed the fob to open the gates, he knew that Anna was entirely hidden from view but he was still  on full alert as was Anna but he saw nothing to worry him. "I'll show you something when we get in" he said as he turned the engine off and pressed the button to shut the gates "oh I very much hope so" she murmured "not quite what I meant but you're absolutely right. Neither of us will be wearing very much pretty soon, you've got away with it long enough, we have a conversation to finish" Her giggling made him laugh as he got out of the truck, he unlocked the door then went back for her suitcase. She was still getting out of the truck and juggling her bag and the milk by the time he was back at her side "what's the hurry Bjorn?" she queried as she started to head towards the house, his answer literally took her breath away as he scooped her up bag, milk and all bridal style, she squealed and flung an arm round his neck as he walked up the steps with her. He paused at the door "seems right somehow, I carried you through this door when we started out the first time and now we're starting out on our second time I want to do it again" her heart melted "no one would ever guess but me that underneath it all you're a big softy" she teased "I love you" she leant forward until their foreheads touched "I love you" she repeated then  tucked her head into the crook of his neck and let him carry her wherever he fancied.
Predictably perhaps after she heard him kick the door shut and the lock engage she found herself rapidly transported up the stairs and dumped rather unceremoniously on their bed, her protest died at the fire burning in his eyes "It's going to be fast and hard Baby. This right here has been my fantasy for 40 years and now I have you to touch I can't last for long." Immediately she was turned on and wet for him, she knew this Bjorn of old, she knew how this would go and she craved it. If it went the way of their youth they wouldn't even get all their clothes off. The sight of him fumbling with his jeans and the raging erection that he uncovered galvanised her into action and she wriggled out of her jeans kicking her clogs off in the process "are you ready? I don't want to hurt you" he growled "Find out for yourself" she answered impatiently. His eyes flashed to hers and he recognised her look, the same as his he'd imagine and that thought turned him on even more, she wanted this she was waiting for him and he in turn couldn't wait any longer. He ripped her panties off the rest of the way and plunged into her with no hesitation, trusting her and the second she closed around him he was lost. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him deeper, he could feel her coming apart around him but he couldn't stop. It was fast and it was hard and it was fucking beautiful. She shattered for him, only for him and he couldn't hold on anymore. He lost the battle, he was defeated and it was glorious.

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