Halfway To Loving You

621 12 7
                                    

If there was anyone who doubted the strength and validity of Bjorn and Agnetha's resurrected relationship all they had to do was watch them together reflected Christian as he observed the pair of them pottering in the garden. This wasn't a new relationship, this was the expression of a lifelong love for both of them, this wasn't something that they had rushed into. This had been 40 years in the making and he felt a piece of him that he didn't know was missing find its rightful place. Their family was complete finally and he couldn't be happier. He had watched them both suffer for their love of each other and had been unable to do anything about it. He could see them both healing in front of his eyes, he swore his Papa looked 20 years younger and he'd lost his stern demeanour. His Mama looked beautiful and at peace with her lot. She wasn't frightened so much anymore. He had to wonder what it really was that blew them apart when it was clear for all to see that their love was unshakable. It had survived through the darkest of times and would continue to sustain their family long after they were gone.
He was looking forward to Linda coming home and seeing this for herself, this was something that she had wanted to happen forever, even though they had been in contact every  day it seemed Linda couldn't quite believe what he was telling her.
His mind wandered as he considered the lack of security breaches in the last week, they often had lulls like this for maybe a fortnight and then it would start once again with a vengeance. He hoped his Papa could deal with it when they did come back full force because they surely would.
His thoughts were distracted by Bjorn waving at him through the window and coming up the steps of Linda's house, Christian beckoned him to come in and as Bjorn did he said "You look very serious Christian, what's bothering you?" Bjorn asked immediately. Christian sighed and said "Sometimes Papa I wish that you weren't quite so perceptive. I'm just worrying that you'll find it hard when the security breaches start again. We always have a busy spell and then a lull. The longest lull we've ever had was a fortnight and we are coming close to that now. It won't be long before it all kicks off again and it takes some getting used too" Christian shared honestly. Bjorn understood his son's concern. "Christian, you've lived with this your whole life, Linda for most of hers. I won't ever leave your mother again so I'll have to get used to it too. For me its a small price to pay to be back in your mother's life. I need her more than she needs me" he told him. "From what I see Papa, she needs you just as much. You two need each other to live not just function, its as simple as that" Christian opined firmly. "She is brave when you are near, she sleeps, she's happy. You chase away her demons just by being there. Its like watching two halves of a whole come back together and Papa forgive me but its fucking beautiful. I'm too young to remember you two the first time around but I'm bloody grateful that I'm here for this, he paused for breath "and you? You relax with her, you don't work all the time and you can't take your eyes off of her. She eases you too. Soulmates is what you two are and its a rare and special thing. You two have been apart for nearly 40 years and yet its like no time at all has passed, its like you've been together for all of this time and you've never, ever been apart. It's like you've always been here" Christian shook his head in bewilderment. "Thank you son, that means the world to me" Bjorn was a little choked. "It feels like I've finally come home, I can't fuck it up this time. I wouldn't survive being without her again" "You won't Papa, I know you won't and neither will she" Christian was comforting. "It's time this family came back together, Mama always says there's someone missing when we all get together, she means you Papa. I'm so glad you two had the courage to talk it out" "Me too son, it's taken a lot out of both of us but it's worth everything" Bjorn replied. Christian smirked and said "I even have it in my heart to feel a little sorry for Lena when Mama is better and she finally catches up with her. Mama did not take kindly to your injuries or Lena calling you fat or the way she treated all us kids. There will be repercussions Papa. I hope you're ready for that. You know Mama and her temper when it comes to the people she loves" Bjorn grinned despite himself and nodded resignedly. "I know. I also know now that Lena was terrible to you two and I am sorry, so sorry that I didn't realise" "Water under the bridge Papa." Christian dismissed "I'm not just talking about us, I'm talking about Emma and Anna too. When they were telling Mama about their childhood the other day she cried and said she would have been so proud of them had they been hers, she still tried to defend Lena, blaming what she had said on the alcohol. She tried to heal them and she got down on her damn knees and hugged them Papa. I've never been so fucking grateful that she's my Mama. That hug healed them more than anything else she could have done and she didn't let go until we were debating where you were" Bjorn was shocked and couldn't stop the grateful tears that stung his eyes "She never told me that" "Well she wouldn't Papa, for her it's normal, she wouldn't have considered anything else. She told them that she was proud of them for being so brave and Anna said that Lena had never ever said she was proud of them about anything. It was always you" Christian smiled and said "I was so proud of HER Papa and still she denies she's special" "I know how special she is son, I've never forgotten but she has surprised even me with her capacity for love and forgiveness this time. The girls are not hers " "and yet Papa she will love them, you know she will" Christian said quietly "I watch her sometimes with the babies and just now and again she looks sad. I asked her why once, years ago and she told me she'd wanted more kids but it wasn't to be" Christian sighed "Two more to add to her brood will make her so happy Papa don't worry" Bjorn struggled to control his emotions, he knew Christian had absolutely hit the nail on the head. He wished more than anyone could ever know that Emma and Anna HAD been Agnetha's and he deeply regretted not giving her the family she had wanted. He resolved to talk to her about it later on. Another issue to clear up.
Christian changed subjects randomly and said "Papa, we do need to sort out your car, I'm going to insist. Now it's empty we need to be looking at exchanging it for a truck like mine. It worries me that you have no protection. I want you sorted before ABBA restarts. He paused to get the manufacturer's website up "I want you both safe Papa. I want you to be able to take Mama back to Viggso and Vallentuna. I want her to be able to go to the studio with you like normal people. Maybe one day you'll take her on a roadtrip like she used to tell me about when I was little." "She told you about those?" Bjorn was surprised. "They were my choice of bedtime story Papa. I loved the thought of you two or four just getting in the car and going wherever the road took you" Bjorn grinned at the memories and said "She did love it, so did I, right let's look at this and get it sorted now, then that's another job done." They spent some time looking at various options and in the end Bjorn opted for the 4x4 version of Christian's truck, he thought it would give Anna more room in the back. Anna came to see what they were doing and Bjorn was grumpy when she started copying down the cost. "What are you doing?" he asked testily "I need to know how much it costs so that I can pay the bill Bjorn" she pointed out laughing. "Anna, you will not pay for my truck!" Bjorn was horrified at the very thought "But if it wasn't for me you wouldn't need it" she said reasonably. "Anna, stop. I will pay for my own truck. I need to be safe and so do you. I won't hear of it. You've paid out enough!" he frowned at her "Don't be stubborn baby. I need to change my car now anyway, it's been seen here and Lena knows this car. I want to take you out, I want to take you places and to do that I need a truck. The one we will have will give you more room in the back and it's a little higher than Christian's so you can see better." he told her. She grinned and said               "Sounds great but I should still at least contribute to the extras on it. You wouldn't need them if I wasn't using it" "No Anna, you will not and that is my final word. I will pay for it. Thank you for the offer though baby." He kissed her gently and felt her smile against his lips "Ok" she whispered. Bjorn put his arm around her shoulder and said "Actually we are ordering two" even Christian looked surprised and asked "Why?" "Abba will pay for the second one, we need one in the studio pool" Bjorn replied. "That's a good idea Papa, I never even thought of that" Christian said. "Uncle Benny and Aunty Frida could use it when necessary as well" "I'll talk to Benny, we may find that he wants one of his own. These threats are not just aimed at Anna, they are aimed at all of us" He felt Anna fidget with discomfort and he pulled her closer to him and kissed her on the forehead to ease her anxiety. "Anna, stop it" he warned gently. "I know where your mind is going. We choose this life with you. All of us baby. Frida and Benny too. We are a team. We will take any action needed to keep you safe, to keep us all safe." He gave her a gentle shake. "You're so fucking worth it baby, for all of us" Anna struggled not to argue with him for she felt that this was all her fault. "Mama, he's right. It's true. I'm coming home for that very same reason" Christian added. Anna felt so grateful and she tried to let her worries go. "Even Benny?" she asked. "Even Benny said we were a team and he said if you were brave enough to come back to ABBA then he would take on anything to make it happen." Bjorn reassured her carefully. "We've dealt with security at Mono and the company will come in and upgrade the security systems totally the week after next. Vallentuna will be upgraded from next Tuesday with the same company" he put his arms round her waist and lifted her until they were nose to nose and he said "Enough now baby, there is nothing to worry about. We want to do this, we ARE doing this. Do you want me not to be safe after all your hard work? Do you want Benny and Frida to be unprotected?" Christian smirked to himself as he admired his Papa's ingenuity, using his Mama's need to keep everyone safe and skilfully outmanoevering her. It worked though and she settled immediately. "No, god no of course not, I'm sorry." she whispered. "Nothing to be sorry for Baby" Bjorn said as he put her down.
"That's another job done" he said satisfied. Christian called the dealership and ordered both vehicles. He gave the phone to Bjorn to put the deposit down for both which he duly did. As the company had dealt with Agnetha for many years they were well aware of the need for a little haste when sorting the vehicles and they said the lead time would be a fortnight to do the upgrades required. Until then Bjorn decided he would take his car to Mono  and swap round the pool cars. Anna wandered into Linda's kitchen and made a cup of tea, the boys were busy. She went back out and perched on the desk next to them and joined in the discussion about the secondary gate that Christian wanted to put in. She could see the point of it and it would mean one gate could be shut before the other one opened stopping anyone getting in around the trucks. She gave it the ok and asked whether they needed permission. Christian said he thought not but that he would check with the authorities.
Bjorn and Anna walked back to Anna's house when they were done, leaving Christian and Isabelle who were starting to pack their stuff up and sort the house out ready for Linda's return "I need to talk to you" Bjorn said as he helped her up the steps. "What's wrong?" asked Anna worriedly. "Nothing, just let's get in. It's gone cold" grumbled Bjorn. They took off their coats and boots and Bjorn made haste to relight the fire in the living room. "You're worrying me" Anna interjected. "Have I done something wrong Bjorn?" "No. Quite the opposite but I need to put another bit of our past to bed Anna" he said tiredly. "One bit at a time we ARE going to rebuild us Baby, we will sort out every issue we ever had" Anna frowned in confusion as Bjorn poured 2 large glasses of red wine and carried them into the living room. He plunked them on the coffee table. "But we've been happy today Bjorn, haven't we? I don't have any issues today" she fretted. He tugged her down onto the sofa and wrapped her tightly in his arms and kissed her hard. "Anna, this has been one of the happiest days of my life, I love it here with you. The last few days have been heaven sent and I love you for it." he reassured her firmly. "but when issues from our past cross my path I need to deal with them straight away. No more misunderstandings or bitterness. I love you too much. I HAVE learned lessons from our past Anna" he promised "I love you too Bjorn" she cupped his face, stroked his beard and laid her lips on his gently "but I still have no idea what you are talking about" she smiled. He picked up his wine and had a sip then pulled her until he had her on his lap and looking up at him. He rested a hand on her tummy and said "Thank you for trying to help Emma and Anna. Christian told me what you did for them. Thank you for being proud of them and telling them so" he sighed heavily "they don't get that from Lena, they never have. She criticises them all the time even now they are adults and when they were young it was constant. I try and make up for it but I always wonder if I'm enough" he looked haunted and Anna soothed him quietly. "I hear you hugged them, they don't get any of that from Lena either so thank you, you are so fucking amazing. You humble me with your acceptance of me and my kids. You humble me with your defence of us all and you humble me with your courage" Anna blushed and fidgeted under his loving gaze. "Anyone would do the same Bjorn, you've bought up amazing young women" she mumbled. "No Anna, not everyone would" he corrected her gently. Out of the blue he said "I'm sorry that you didn't get the chance to have any more children. I know you desperately wanted them." Anna felt tears sting her eyelids and she blinked them back determinedly. "I'm happy with what I have Bjorn. I'm so lucky" she told him stoutly. "I often wondered why you didn't have more when you married Tomas even though I think it would have killed me" he confided. "You were young enough" Anna laughed and quickly sobered "Bjorn I was 40!!!" "But now I know why you didn't" he said remembering their horrific conversation on Viggso. "Bjorn, you don't know darling" she said gently "I never had any intention of having any more children after we divorced. It was simple for me, seeing as you want us to be brutally honest with each other baby, you are the father of my children, I didn't want children with anyone else but you. It would never have felt right. You're the only person I've ever wanted children with" she told him quietly. His heart hurt him and his hand unconsciously burrowed under her shirt to rest on the bare skin of her belly. "You break my heart Anna" he groaned "then I'm sorry I didn't give you what you wanted. I'm sorry I denied you the family that we deserved. I wish so much that we'd have had more children and I wish that Emma and Anna were yours". Anna turned herself so that her face was pressed into his chest and his hand slid round to her hip. "Bjorn, we have an amazing family and we will be a modern blended family. Your girls are perfect and you could never wish you did not have them" "God no!!!" Bjorn agreed vehemently "They were the only thing that kept me going for so long. But they should have been yours" he was agonised. "Bjorn, hush. It's fine. They are yours therefore I love them. It isn't their fault. Will you let me love them Bjorn?" He hauled her up so that she faced him "Just when I think you're all out of surprises, you land another one on me. Anna, you don't have to ask permission, they are both half way to loving you already. It would be my greatest wish Anna that you all got on" he shared tenderly. "It'll take a lot of work I know but I want our family together and strong. We've already achieved one miracle, we can make another one happen" Anna smiled secretly and remembered the delivery was coming in....she looked at her watch 25 mins. "Yes we will Bjorn, at least one more miracle" she teased giggling. She pulled his head down to kiss him and whispered "I love you but we have work to do" "We do? What?" asked Bjorn confused. "I have a massive grocery delivery in 25 mins that I've just remembered. The hordes are home later" she reminded him laughing. "Then you'll really see how horrific my food bill is. I hope you can handle them all at once Bjorn" she fretted half seriously. "It's noisy and chaotic and messy" "and I've been looking forward to it all my life baby" he interrupted her "I'll be perfectly fine"
He rang Emma and Anna later on that evening to touch base with them and they both thought to ask after Agnetha. His heart swelled as he heard their concern and floating across his mind as they talked was "Already halfway to loving you Baby"

LegacyWhere stories live. Discover now