Coffee was Benny's friend the next morning, oddly he was up before Bjorn for a change and he was out on the veranda when Bjorn came out with his. "You're up early" Bjorn commented "Yeah, couldn't sleep so I thought I might as well get up. Besides the delivery is coming soon. I ordered a paper" he smiled. "Amongst many other things I can't remember the last time I read the paper with a coffee." "Actually I don't remember the last time I did that either. Sounds good." "I ordered stuff for a nice breakfast as well." "You seem happy today" Bjorn commented. "I am. Happier than I've been for years. It probably won't last long but I'll enjoy it while it lasts"
Bjorn sat down next to him and said "that's the attitude I'm taking, I will enjoy every second we get given and I'll deal with the consequences later. I'm too old to waste time" "Are we too old to start all over again?" queried Benny quietly. "No, definitely not" said Bjorn robustly. " I don't want to live out the rest of my years like I have been to be honest. I don't know where that will lead me but I'll be open minded about whatever comes."
They were interrupted from their somewhat melancholy thoughts by the gate buzzer which was connected to the house. Bjorn got up went outside, he walked down to the gate and looked through the peephole. He could see the groceries being stacked up and followed the same procedure as last night with the takeaway. "Just leave it there for us and I'll get it in a moment when I've moved the car out of the way" He signed the delivery note with an unidentifiable scrawl and passed it back through. They'd have to find a better way of doing this. He waited till he heard the van drive away, by which time Benny was with him. He poked his head out of the gate and the coast was clear so they took the bags in. "Christ Benny how much did you order?" Bjorn teased as they went backwards and forwards. Benny had the grace to look slightly abashed. "I got to choose" he said quietly. Bjorn didn't know quite what to say to that so he clapped him on the back and took the last bag indoors.
It took them quite a while to put it all away and though he forebore to comment again Bjorn considered that they could probably withstand a nuclear siege.
They settled down with the breakfast of Benny's choice. Pancakes and fruit with several cups of coffee. It was while they were finishing the last cup that Benny addressed the subject they were both avoiding. "When do you need to go home?" Benny ventured. "Not that I want to but I should probably go home tonight. I might as well face the music but I want to sort out some stuff to bring here. Office stuff and clothes. This place hasn't been used like I intended recently and that changes from now on. I'm happier than ever that I have it" Benny sighed."You're right. I could do the same? Sort out some bits and pieces to bring?" he still sounded unsure. "Yes, of course. That was the idea wasn't it? I'll give you the spare key and fob for now, then when it has its upgrade we will have new ones I imagine" Benny looked relieved and grateful. "I'm glad you have this place too" They settled back for a bit and shared the paper between them. Bjorn was busy planning in his head as always and at the back of it all, he wondered what Anna was doing. He wanted to give her the world but he would start slowly.
If he had known what Anna was doing at that moment, it's fair to say that his world would have tilted on its axis, she was gripping Frida's hands for her life as the medication dripped into her veins and burned her from the inside out. It wasn't a sensation she could describe but she knew she wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy and that it was agonising. She didn't complain though, she just focused on Frida and her voice and the music that she and Frida had put on Frida's I pod last night so that they could listen. It helped her to focus on the positive stuff that was coming. They listened to a lot of ABBA and the memories of recording many of the songs, they talked of things that happened long ago but were still clear in their minds. Anna talked of the first time that she'd ever set eyes on Bjorn and how she had known there and then, right away that he was the one. Frida was the same and described the first time she'd seen Benny. They laughed at their young selves. Anna had sent Frida off to get some lunch for herself, saying that Frida needed a break and something to eat. Frida was sat in the garden outside the unit eating a sandwich when her phone rang. She jumped and then looked at it. Benny! She smiled softly wondering if his timing could have been any better. She could do with hearing his voice, especially as they had just spent half the morning talking about him. She clicked it on. "Benny, hi. It's good to hear from you. What are you up too?" Benny grinned, he had thought she wouldn't answer. "Afternoon beautiful. I just wanted to hear your voice. I've spent the day with Bjorn sorting out Vallentuna so it's a bit more habitable. He says we can use it any time as long as he knows so he doesn't walk in on us" Benny laughed nervously. "Do you have any time?" Frida sighed. "Not this week darling" "That's ok, it's fine if you've changed your mind" Benny backtracked hastily. "Benny, I haven't changed my mind" Frida said firmly. "Never" she reiterated."But I have to be with Anna this week" suddenly her throat closed up and she sniffed back unwelcome tears. Benny was immediately on the case "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked urgently "I'm not" she said quickly. "Anni-Frid I can hear you. I know those sounds. I know you. What's going on?" "Nothing" Frida lied "I was just feeling old and sad and it's nice to hear your voice" Benny wasn't convinced but was distracted when she said "Have you got time to talk to me for a while?" "Always" he said. He didn't know what was going on but he was beginning to think Bjorn was right, that there was something else happening that certainly he and Bjorn weren't aware of.
He and Frida chatted of this and that and Frida asked about the new songs "Well. We have the bones of something. I want to go to Viggso really and write there. I seem to have my muse back" She smiled and asked "When will you go?" He thought for a moment. "I have things I need to sort out so it won't be this week. Possibly the end of next week or the beginning of the week after. Want to come?" "Yes, I really do, but we're going to find a way to get Anna there. Is that ok?" "More than ok. I'll talk to Bjorn. We need to get her out of there for a while don't we? Am I wrong?" "It's a beautiful place Benny and it's her home but it is a prison. Yes she needs to get out. It would be an amazing surprise for her" Frida looked at her watch and realised she had been gone from Anna for nearly an hour. "Benny I need to go, I didn't realise how long I'd been gone. Anna will be wondering where on earth I've got too! Can I talk to you tonight?" she asked. Benny was delighted."I'll call you later" he said. She thanked him and said goodbye hurriedly, taking off at a run back to the unit where Anna was.
Taking Anna home that night was a trial for all of them. They got into the back of Christian's truck in the underground entrance for deliveries. There was less chance of being seen there. Christian had to lift her in as she felt so weak but that in turn made her skin hurt. Every bump in the road seemed to hurt her and by the time they were at the gates of Ekero she had tears running down her face. Christian was looking grim as he negotiated the gates and the same man who was stood in the way. Luckily he had put the screen down 10 minutes before and he got in the gates after their usual battle of wills with no further incident. "Is it normally this bad Christian?" whispered Frida concerned by Anna's level of pain. He pulled the truck to a stop at the back of the house and jumped out. Frida got out and Christian said "Most times Aunty Frida it's much worse, she always has a hard journey home but today she isn't screaming. Last month was horrendous. You must be doing her good" he patted her reassuringly and kissed her cheek gratefully. "Come on Mama darling, let's get you in. I'll be as gentle as I can. He leaned into the car and gently lifted her out. Anna put her arms round his neck and did her best not to cry or scream but it was clear to all that she was in a lot of pain. Frida shut the door behind Christian as he trod carefully up the steps to the house. She rushed up behind him and used her code for the door. It swung open. She picked up Anna's bags and they went in. "Mama? What do you want?" asked Christian gently." "What I want is not to be a burden, you and Linda shouldn't have to DO this. Frida shouldn't have to be here!!" Christian was well used to this arguement. "Mama, you've looked after us alone for 40 years. You've managed all our shit. You're my Mama and you will NEVER be a burden. I love you. Linda loves you. That will never change" Anna was stubborn. "I want you all to go!! I'm not a baby. I don't want any of you seeing me like this" Christian soothed her. "Mama hush, you're ill. It won't be forever. After next month, that'll be the end of it" Frida couldn't have been prouder of Christian at that moment. "You bought your son up to be a good man little one. Listen to him. This will pass and it doesn't matter what you throw at me I'm staying too. I love you and I promised you and Linda that we would do this together" she said. "Besides I've seen your temper many times before, nothing would faze me. Do you remember when you threw that fish at Bjorn's head?" Anna giggled and cried at the same time. "Yeah, he deserved it" she smiled. "Why did you throw a fish at Papa?" asked Christian bemused. "He was talking to another girl for too long" Frida sniggered. "Your mother was very possessive when it came to your Papa. It was a good shot, it smacked him right in the face and landed in his lap, he was left dripping" Frida hadn't thought of the incident for years and it made her laugh now. "What did he do? I've never heard this story!"said Christian fascinated. " He looked at Anna. Collected the fish of his lap and put it on his plate, wiped his face and laughed. As I remember it got a bit passionate after that. He went after your mother and caught her let's say" Christian laughed out loud delighted. Anna was mortified but laughing. "Frida, really" she chided. Not in front of the kids!" "Mama I'm 39 years old with children of my own, I can cope" he hefted her a bit."Oh god Christian I'm sorry!" said Frida."You're standing here holding your mother and we're reminiscing!" "Mama is not heavy I could hold her for hours. It was worth it to hear that story and to see Mama smile" Anna grimaced a little in pain but knew that Frida had managed to distract her out of her first meltdown and was utterly grateful. "So Mama, where do we go today? Upstairs to your room or the sofa?" " I'm sorry darling but upstairs please, I'm exhausted and my skin is so sore. It will burn soon" Christian nodded and as he trod up the stairs carefully he reminded his Mama "Every single day you manage is a day closer to the end of this. We will all be here, we'll fight together and we'll celebrate together when you beat this" Anna smiled and said "yes, I'm nearly there aren't I? I've done a year" she tried her best to be upbeat but she was in a lot of pain. Still protecting her son. Christian put her gently down on the bed. "Do you need anything Mama?" "No darling, go to your family, there's nothing I want or need right now. I'm so tired that all I will do is sleep. No point in you staying." her voice was cracking with pain and exhaustion. Christian looked as if he would protest. "Darling, I have Frida and you're only across the yard, you've done more than enough today, please go and see your family and rest. Thank you. I love you Christian" she subsided on the bed, her eyes already closing.
Frida went downstairs with Christian, he looked tired and worried. "She'll be fine Christian" Frida soothed. "She's told me how it goes, tonight her skin will burn, tomorrow she will be sick,Thursday she will have a mouthful of ulcers and so on. We will get there. This isn't unusual. Russo was very similar to this" Christian was still uncomfortable. "You'll call me if you need ANYTHING Aunty Frida" Frida hid a smile. So like his Papa. "I will Christian" she confirmed. "I'll check up on you later" Frida nodded. "Do as she asks and go and see your family darling. We will talk later"
She collected a glass of water and put some ice and a straw in it. What she really wanted was a coffee but she know the smell of it would make Anna feel sick so she made them both a tea and put it all on a tray.
By the time she got upstairs Anna was sat up on the side of the bed trying to get her clothes off. "They hurt me Frida" she sobbed. "They're too heavy" Frida put the tray on the bedside table hurriedly and went to Anna's side "Ok, ok, let me help you. What can you manage to wear normally?" "The t shirt, I want the t shirt" Anna was getting panicked. "Which t shirt darling?" "Help me Frida!" Anna pleaded. Frida decided to get Anna's clothes off first and look for the t shirt later, maybe she would calm if the clothes were gone. She helped Anna with her jumper and top. She helped Anna to stand and gently pulled her trousers down. This caused Anna a lot of pain but she tried not to shout at Frida, it wasn't her fault at all. She sat herself down on the bed and felt some relief as Frida pulled her trousers off the rest of the way. "Is that more bearable while I find the t shirt?" asked Frida gently. "Yes. I'm sorry!" Anna's tears were uncontrollable. As Frida rose to her feet. Anna sat back a bit on the bed and Frida's heart bled as she saw the redness of Anna's skin and the blistering that was starting round her cannula and across her chest. That must be agony she reflected. "Where do I find the t shirt you want darling?" she asked, sensing that Anna was close to the limits of her endurance. It had been a long day. "It's in the top left drawer, it's the only one in there" Anna managed. Frida rummaged through the said drawer and found a faded, tatty t shirt with the remains of a sports logo on it. "This one?" she asked holding it up so Anna could see. Anna smiled in relief. "that one" she confirmed. Frida shut the drawer and went back over to Anna. "Do you need help with it?" " I'm sorry Frida, I can't do it for myself. I'm sorry you have to see this" Anna was humiliated. " I can't stand my bra, it has to come off. I'm sorry" "Darling girl, I've seen a lot more of you than this. Would you do the same for me of the positions were reversed? Would it bother you? I need to help you Anna" Anna subsided as Frida gently undid her bra strap, the relief was immediate. Anna considered her words. What Frida said was right, she wouldn't hesitate to help Frida if the positions were opposite. She sighed as Frida popped the t shirt over her head so nothing was exposed when Anna took the bra off. "You're right I'm sorry" as Frida gently tugged the t shirt into position. "I would do the same for you. Bet you wouldn't be so difficult though. Sorry" "Anna, stop apologising. Don't lie down yet! You need a drink and your tablets."Anna frowned, she just wanted to lie down and sleep. Frida passed her the water with the straw. Anna had to hold it with both hands as she was shaking. Frida steadied the glass as Anna took her painkillers and her anti nausea tablets then she helped Anna to lie down. " No blankets, can't stand the weight" Anna said tiredly. "Ok" Frida agreed. She pushed the button to bring the black out blinds down. "Don't leave me until I'm asleep" Anna mumbled. Frida picked up her tea and clambered on the other side of the bed, "I won't" she promised she hummed between sips of tea and finally Anna fell asleep.
An hour or so later Frida stirred from a snooze and saw that Anna was sleeping peacefully, the tablets were doing their work. She touched Anna's forehead, she was burning but she had been told to expect that. She carefully climbed off the bed and went downstairs to text Christian and say all was well and that his Mama was sleeping peacefully. She rummaged in the fridge and made herself something to eat. She turned on the tv quietly and found the series she had been watching on Netflix and settled down for another episode. Her mind could not focus on it though. It was focused on the woman upstairs fighting for her very life. Frida's own tears breached her defences then. It was so bloody unfair that it was Anna. It should have been her. She was older, the stronger one. Anna deserved so much more than this. She deserved to be happy. She couldn't face anymore of her dinner and put it down.
At some point she must have dropped off again for she woken by Anna screaming.
