Bjorn worked hard not to react to Benny's unwilling confession. His mind raced as he tried to find the right words to say, what he said now was critical to Benny's well being and Bjorn knew it. He settled with "Benny, it's happened to me too. I'm the same. I guess we've just got old. I haven't wanted it for years. You're not the only one. It doesn't make you less of a man." Benny looked at Bjorn "What does Lena say?" Bjorn sighed as he touched Benny's shoulder in support. "Nothing at all, she couldn't care less about it or me. She has her own life and it isn't with me" Benny opened his mouth to say something "Wait Benny. I don't love her, I never did if I'm honest and she certainly doesn't love me. She loves my name and my money. You know that. She loves the idea that she took me away from Anna but nothing more. I'm sure that she never loved me. The older I get the more I realise that if she had truly loved me Linda and Christian would not have suffered so" Benny downed the rest of his whisky. "Why didn't you leave?" he asked curiously. Bjorn sighed "Honestly? Pride, arrogance. I couldn't admit even to myself that I'd got it so bloody wrong. Then the girls came along and I knew then that I wouldn't put them through what I'd put Linda and Christian through. I had learnt my lesson." He poured them both another whisky. They had finished the bottle. "You know don't you that Anna would have treated those kids like her own?" Benny asked. "Yeah I do. Now. But why would she have taken me back? I wouldn't have taken me back after what I did to her" sighed Bjorn sadly. "At the time my pride wouldn't allow me to beg her forgiveness, then I felt that she deserved a happy life with no fighting. Her and I will always fight" "You're an idiot Bjorn, your fighting was part of who you two were, she would have taken you back because she loves you. What sort of LIFE has she had without you?? A life full of lies in the press about a million lovers that she's never had, a marriage that lasted less than a year that to this day she refuses to talk about, a stalker who nearly ended her and another two making her life a misery. She's stuck behind walls of her own making and it's taken us 35 years to persuade her to even think about coming out. Yeah Bjorn. It's been a great life" Benny laughed bitterly. Bjorn was stung, "None of that is my fault and she doesn't love me" Benny softened and said "I'm not saying all of it is but if you'd have been less stubborn the pair of you, if you two had stayed together which is what I know both of you really wanted none of it would have happened and she must love your old arse if she's been looking out for you all these years" "What about you then?" Bjorn fired back. "You stay with Frida for years, you adored her. You finally persuade her to marry you and two years later you're living with Mona? Frida was heartbroken, you told her you didn't want kids and suddenly Ludwig is on the horizon. That was nearly the end of HER" Benny looked murderous. "Don't push it too far Bjorn" he warned "Oh Benny my friend, I've just listened to you shoot me down about Anna and you ARE right. Surely you expect me to do the same?" Benny sighed and Bjorn saw tears in his eyes "What do you want me to say? That my drunken actions have been the biggest regret of my life? That my monstrous ego has caused me to regret every day that I've spent without her since? There I've said it. I hurt the woman I've loved most in my miserable life to such an extent that I can't face her or myself? Why do you think I let you do the events mostly? I can't trust myself. Now I'm paying the price for my actions and it's no more than I deserve. When I do go with her it's amazing and torturous at the same time. Now I can't face her in the state that I'm in. An old, sad, useless drunk. I'll never ever regret Ludwig, I love that boy with everything I am but it's been a high price to pay. You're lucky Lena doesn't say anything. Mona never ever forgets to remind me how useless and what a disappointment I am in every department. It's a fitting end for the media's "sex machine Benny" isn't it" he grimaced
Both men stared into space for a while then Benny staggered up of the sofa to go and get the bottle of wine. Bjorn let him.
A glass of wine later Bjorn said to Benny "How on earth did we get ourselves into such a bloody state? Why didn't we consider that resurrecting ABBA would open massive wounds. I was content before this. Now my life's been turned upside down and I'm not sure it's the right thing to do" "Bollocks!" slurred Benny."We've been waiting for this for years. The chance to see the girls. To write for them again. The chance to right the wrongs we did. All of us. If Anna is brave enough to come to the studio and sing then I won't let her down" he hiccuped and continued "and you? Carrying on a 40 year old lie. Shut up Bjorn you weren't content then and you aren't content now. You're just scared, Scared of what could happen. Scared to be happy even for a little while" Bjorn's head was fuzzy. "But what happens afterwards when we are done and I have to leave Anna again and go back to my life? I don't want to face it" he felt tears come to his own eyes then and he blinked them away impatiently.
Benny took the last slurp of wine and said "better for me to have one last great memory to last me the rest of my life" Bjorn couldn't deny that at some level Benny had a very valid point. He knew, regardless of the consequences he WOULD go through with this. He peered at Benny who was lying on his back on the sofa snoring his head off. He sighed. What a mess. He felt guilty that even he had assumed that Benny was ok. He heaved himself off the sofa and went to get a glass of water and an aspirin, he couldn't remember the last time he'd drunk like this. He wobbled back into the living room and put Anna's album on. He settled back on the sofa, he wouldn't leave Benny alone. He stretched out and relaxed as Anna's voice filled the room. Oh god. That voice. It moved him as much now as it did 50 years ago when he'd first heard it on the radio. He hadn't listened to this album very much, it would have been more than his life was worth to listen to it at home so the most treasured part of his music collection resided here. He had everything that Anna had ever made, all of Benny's stuff and all of Frida's work. He smiled as he admitted to himself his possessiveness over Anna and her voice, he knew he could get more from her, he knew how to make the best of her voice. 'A' was great and he was very proud of her. It must have taken real grit to do it. Her voice was still sublime he reflected. A little more rounded, a little sexier, she had a slight husk in there now that absolutely hooked him from the first time he'd heard it. He listened to the album right through and wondered why she had stopped after it. She had been on fire. He frowned as he wondered when her latest stalkers came on the scene. Perhaps it was related. He would ask Linda. The last song of the album came on and he lost himself again. He didn't listen to the words at first, he just was mesmerised by her voice. It was half way through when his eyes snapped open, he blinked and fumbled for the remote. He clicked it back to the beginning so he could listen to it again, and again. Why had it taken him 4 years to hear what she was saying. He smiled as he remembered the box that she had indeed always kept under the bed full of her most precious photos, from the moment he had known her. He would imagine that she still had it. He wondered if he was reading too much into this song. She wrote this one herself. He hoped it was for him. He would ask her when he saw her.
His thoughts were interrupted by Benny who was moving restlessly on the sofa and mumbling. He propped himself up on his elbows to check on Benny and squinted as he tried to focus on him. His heart sank as he saw tears on Benny's face as he fought his demons in his sleep. Christ what a mess they had all made of their lives. It made him more determined than ever to finish these songs with Benny. If they had to rip the whole lot up and start again with the girls then they would. They would do that for Benny. Benny needed to prove to himself that he was still the maestro. He genuinely believed that having the girls back would unlock a tidal wave of creativity from both of them. Christ his head hurt. He staggered up from his sofa and got to Benny. He heaved Benny till he was on his side, he stuffed cushions behind him to stop him rolling back. He covered him with the sofa blanket and patted his shoulder. "We'll sort this out Benny my friend" he whispered." We'll make it right, I'm sorry I was so wrapped up in my problems I didn't see yours" Benny was so restless and looked so pained that Bjorn worried for him. Inspiration struck him. He made his way over to the music and changed it to an album of Frida's. He put it on and he smiled as her dark as velvet voice made it's way through the room. So different from Anna's but no less beautiful. It didn't stir him like Anna's did but he loved it. He went back to his sofa and sorted his sofa blanket. He got comfy and reflected how lucky he and Benny had been to work with Anna and Frida, oh they had known it was special at the time but it wasn't until after ABBA had stopped that he and Benny had really realised how exceptional they really were. When they were working with other people, no matter how good they were, it took more work, more input to get the music to sound how they wanted. The girls had intuitively known and had pushed until they got there. He looked up to check on Benny and rolled his eyes kindly upon seeing that Benny was sleeping peacefully with a smile on his face to the lullaby of Frida. Bjorn shook his head in resignation and settled down to try and sleep himself.
It didn't seem like any time had passed before he was rudely awakened by the strident ringtone of his mobile phone. It clanged through his head with the efficiency of a chainsaw. He groaned loudly and sat up on the sofa. Benny was stirring also. He stood up and it felt like he'd broken his back. He made his way slowly to the kitchen and rummaged his phone out of his jacket pocket. He squinted to see who was calling. Lena. It was 7am! He rolled his eyes and prepared for the onslaught " Hello" he answered neutrally. He held the phone away from his ear a little as he was assaulted with the usual vitriol, demands and insults. "Lena" he interrupted patiently "I told you I was going out with Benny and that is what I have done. I told you I didn't know when I'd be back and I told you that things have changed" He watched as Benny stumbled into the kitchen, their eyes met and Benny rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what Lena was like. He'd seen it too many times before. "Lena, you go out overnight at least twice a month, you never tell me where you're going so I fail to see what the difference is" Benny was rummaging about for the coffee pot and filters. Bjorn walked over to the cupboard that they were in and opened it while Lena was still shouting at Bjorn. Benny took down the coffee pot and could hear what Lena was saying. " Give me that phone" he snapped as he snatched it off of Bjorn. "Lena? Stop shouting for god's sake, I'm not in the mood. Bjorn and I are in a hotel. We drank too much to drive. He didn't call you because he was too drunk to remember to do so as was I. I needed my friend last night and I don't appreciate you waking him or me up behaving like a harpy. Listen to me Bjorn and I are going to spend a few days together. I need his help. He will call you when he's coming home. I don't know Lena, I don't know how long it will take. Enjoy the time to spend more of his money won't you" Benny finished acidly "Bye Lena" He squinted as he searched for the off button. He poked it determinedly when he did find it and threw the phone on the worktop. He turned to see Bjorn laughing. He scowled furiously. "Well what a hell of a way to wake up when you've got a hangover from the devil" he groused. "Welcome to my world" said Bjorn "I wake up to variants of that every morning" "Christ! I don't know which of us is in worse trouble" commented Benny. " You need to sort your shit out Bjorn, that's horrendous" " I will if you will my friend" Bjorn shot back. They looked at each other and burst out laughing secure at least in their friendship.
In the cold light of the morning Benny was more able to appreciate the delights of Vallentuna. Bjorn opened the doors onto the veranda and they took their coffee outside and sat. Benny took in the little garden that looked just the same as it did the last time he saw it. "Anna loved this garden, I remember her looking after it so carefully" smiled Benny. "Yes, I spent a long time returning it to its former glory. When I bought it back it was gravel and statues" grimaced Bjorn. "You did this?" Benny gestured around him with his coffee cup "well me and the kids, gives me time to relax and stop thinking" Bjorn admitted. "Not to mention peace from Lena?" Benny said kindly. "I can't deny it, besides Lena insists on having a gardener and it's a bit too stark for my taste" sighed Bjorn.
A comfortable silence ensued for a while, interrupted by Benny saying "I'm glad you got it back Bjorn, it's lovely here. It reminds me of the best times of my life. How do you hide it from Lena?" "It's ownership is buried in one of the smaller Abba holdings that she knows nothing about, even I had forgotten about it at the time. All the correspondence goes to my office at Polar and then I deal with it and shred it. She doesn't actually know which house we lived in. Just that it was Vallentuna. All the paperwork that I need to keep is in a safe here in the cellar. The only thing I have with me all the time is the fob for the gates and the key. They stay locked in the glovebox of my car. There is a spare set locked in my office drawer at polar." Benny shook his head in wonder. "I'll help you if you need it ever. To hide it from her I mean. It's as important to me that you keep it as it is." "It's important to the kids as well, they've never once breathed a word, even when they were younger. They knew, even then that it was the only way that we could all be together. They love it here." he grinned as he reminisced. "Want another coffee?" asked Benny. Bjorn drained his cup and held it out for Benny to take. "Yes please and some paracetamol, they're on the worktop" His mind was relaxed for a few minutes as he waited for Benny to come back.
He heard the distant ringing of his phone again. There goes that peace he thought grumpily. He rolled his eyes at the thought of Lena. Benny came back holding 2 cups of coffee. He put them down and fished Bjorn's phone and the paracetamol out of his shirt pocket. "Seems you're popular this morning and it's not even 8am." he held out Bjorn's phone to him and he took it. He looked at the screen and frowned as he saw he had a missed call from Christian. That was early for a Sunday. His heart dropped as he worried something was wrong. He took a sip of coffee before he rang Christian back.
Christian picked up on the second ring "Morning Papa" he said cheerfully and rather too loudly Bjorn considered and winced as it felt like his head rattled "Morning son, what's up?" "Are you busy today?" Christian asked "Nope, I'm spending the day with Benny. We are bums today" he smiled at Benny as he took another sip of coffee. Benny rolled his eyes and chuckled. They hadn't had chance to "bum" as Bjorn called it for months. There was a silence. "Hello?" Bjorn questioned. "Oh Papa that's perfect" said Christian happily "Perfect for what?" asked Bjorn suspiciously.
"Mama's making a cake Papa. A cream cake. She and Frida are giggling in the kitchen like children. I'm going to come and collect you in an hour. You and Uncle Benny." Bjorn's breath left his body and he thought his heart might have stopped. At the very least he sloshed his coffee over the table. Benny was looking worried "Today?" he gasped. "Shit Christian, Benny and I have been drinking all night!" Christian burst out laughing. "Glad to hear it!! You better shape up quickly then hadn't you." Can't see Mama for the first time in 18 months smelling like a distillery can you?" Christian was delighting in his father's predicament. "Tell Benny Frida is looking amazing today and he better shape up too" "I'll tell him no such thing, he'll be a gibbering idiot for the rest of morning!!" retorted Bjorn. Benny's eyebrows shot up. He still had no idea of what was going on. "Are you telling me you don't want to come?" prodded Christian, knowing full well what the answer would be. "What an idiotic thing to say!" Bjorn responded darkly. "We'll be ready. Jesus Christian we're too old for shocks like this!!" Benny's eyes narrowed as he waited impatiently. "Do you mind?" he enquired sarcastically. "What on earth is going on?" Bjorn waved at him impatiently "Wait" he mouthed. Benny frowned and waited. "Why so early?" he questioned. " Because Linda, Jens and the kids are leaving early today and I thought you might like to see them off. "Wait what?" Bjorn felt like he was playing catch up "Where are they going?" "They are all going on a roadtrip up country, something they've been wanting to do for a while so I gather. Mama made them go. She says they've been stuck in a pretty prison with her for too long and she wants them to have time away and look after their relationships, to keep connected as a family. She says she doesn't want them to make the same mistakes she did" Christian's words smote his heart, those mistakes were not hers to shoulder, they were his. She had tried to make him see the same issues all those years ago. He cleared his throat. "Ok" "she wants to take advantage of the fact that Frida says she will stay so that no one worries about her. So Linda is happy that Mama is safe and she will go" Christian paused and said "Papa I have to go, I'll see you in an hour" "Wait Christian!!" Bjorn said urgently. Christian came back to the phone "What Papa? Please don't back out" Bjorn hastened to reassure him "NO! I never would and neither will Benny" Benny wasn't sure about that but as he didn't know what he was being signed up for, he really couldn't say! "I just wanted to say that Benny and I are at Vallentuna, that's where you need to get us from please" Christian laughed and said "Papa, you old dog you!! Good for you!! Long overdue to my mind. Best little bolthole in the world. Other than Ekero of course" "Ok, we'll see you in a little while. Bye Christian" Bjorn blew out a long breath and threw his phone on the table. He stared at it for a moment.
"Would you mind telling me what's going on?" came Benny's impatient enquiry. "Where are we going? What are we doing? Why do you look like a bomb's gone off underneath you?"
"Come on Man!!" said Bjorn "Get up!! We have serious work to do! We both smell like a brewery. We need a shower. Thank God we have 2 showers here. Do I have any toiletries here? Christ who knows." Bjorn was all of a dither. "Will you stop flapping and tell me what's going on??" yelled Benny.
"Benny my friend, we're going to Ekero.
